Shyness Social Anxiety

Overcome and cure social anxiety

I Get Anxiety Around People

Written By: admin - Jun• 12•12

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    i have social anxiety around people. can people tell im nervous by my face?
    i have bad social anixety and i have just started a new job. i get social anxiety with random employees. im terrified because i think they can tell im nervous but looking at my face. im not sure if i look nervous or not but when my anxiety is rising i think everyone's noticiing it. so, is it really noticable, i try to cover it up :(

    • ANSWER:
      No they can't tell. Smile a lot even if you don't feel like it. Act confident and soon you will be. You are as good as any of us and should not think that way. Best of luck to you on your new job.

  2. QUESTION:
    social anxiety around certain people?
    Whenever I'm around people that have low self-esteem and anxiety problems, I feel comfortable around those people.

    but when I'm around confident people I get anxiety, what is this?

    • ANSWER:
      With those like you, you're in comfort. The opposite makes you anxious. You seem to have low self-esteem that's why you are at ease, they're on the same page. The confident one scare you. Work on your esteem, count your qualities, your skills, all your good points and you'll get more and more assured. Hang out with those who are confident and relax and watch the way they behave and get around their own qualities. Good luck!

  3. QUESTION:
    I like To Be Alone, Get Anxiety Around People, Any One Else?
    am i weird. I have not that many friends at all. most of the time, i prefer to be all alone inside of my house. i just feel happier when i am alone and not out in public. i can go out in public sometimes, but i get bad anxiety. i just like to be alone. is this weird .any one else like this out there?

    • ANSWER:
      Sounds like you suffer from social anxiety disorder.
      Don't worry you are not the only one out there with it.
      I'd suggest talking to a doctor about the problem so he/she can help you in that matter.

  4. QUESTION:
    I am a 27 year old female and i have anxiety disorder around people?
    my question is what kind of career could i take where i won't have to talk or interact with people cause i really get nervous around people

    • ANSWER:
      That is called Social Anxiety and there is help. You don't have to build your life around it. There are medications that can help and there are therapies that can help you feel comfortable around people. You need to get a correct diagnosis and a safe medication if needed or a referral to therapy.

  5. QUESTION:
    How do I get over anxiety about being around people who know my past and were once friends?
    It got to the point where my anxiety was so bad I moved across country. Now I am moving back home in a few days and have constant anxiety about running into people I don't want to see and thinking that they are constantly talking about me and what I have done in my past. How do I just go on about my life and start a new with new friends and face the old ones? Please help.

    • ANSWER:
      just me but , I will really not give a dammm what they think.........

  6. QUESTION:
    Help...I have anxiety around people?
    I have a bit of a social anxiety and I tend to get anxious when a person asks me too many questions. I am a private person and I dislike answering too many questions.
    Recently, I have become a freelance writer and I am afraid that my clients will ask me lots of questions when they meet up with me.

    What should I do? I have anxiety and I am a private person and I hate it when they ask me questions? Help?!

    • ANSWER:
      start by taking brief walks everyday outside(because you will make eye contact with people around you and feel more comfortable just being around people. Try to go into shops and order something. Try to chat up with the cashier. You will probably feel awkward, but the point is to make you comfortable. Remember practice makes perfect.

      Know who you are and love it. Catch negative thoughts about yourself and realize ur just putting urself down. Reverse them into something positive.

      Get excited about ur job. GET EXCITED ABOUT MEETING PEOPLE IN A POSITIVE ANXIETY WAY. Say to yourself that you cannot wait to meet them instead of trying to avoid the situation.

  7. QUESTION:
    Why do i get so much anxiety around people?
    I've always been like this, when i get around people i get way to anxious for no reason. My heart beats rapidly and i sweat like crazy. When i try to make conversation, my mind goes blank and all i can think about is how akward i'm making it be. I lose my breath and its hard to talk, and when i do its a shaky nervous voice. Just being in the same room as someone will make me feel very uncomfortable and i feel like i have to say something or make conversation to get rid of the akwardness but its so hard for me to start "confident" conversations. I relate to just about anyone, i have a big family, i played sports a lot in high school, i do have a good number of friends. But it is so hard for me to make new friends and feel confident around people that i am trying to meet because of my fear of talking to people...i am horrified of reading aloud in class and i can never seem to look at peoples faces when i am talking to them or they are talking to me. i think i have a very low self esteem and low confidence but i have no reason to...also everybody in my family is very talkative except me...my grandpa always says i'm a "man of few words"...but i dont wanna be a quiet person...i wanna feel confident around people and enjoy waking up everyday knowing that i can communicate with people...also ive noticed that this past year the sweating is really bad as sweat pours down my forehead when i am around people.
    also ive been taking zoloft 200mg daily for the past year and a half and i am 19 years old

    • ANSWER:
      Hey Jim,

      I think there are several things you can do here.

      First is to definitely meditate a little bit. Gain some focus and spend some time telling yourself what you want in life and how you want to achieve it. Start working hard, and really working towards your goal. This will make you a man of purpose and will boost your self-esteem and confidence.

      Secondly, there is no better to get rid of a fear than to face it. When you are new to skating, you are afraid to skate, because you are afraid of falling. But fall several times on purpose, and you won't be afraid to skate anymore and you will drastically become a better skater quicker.

      Or if you're afraid of the dark. You cannot walk to the bathroom in the night in fear of some scary monster. But lock yourself in a dark room at some point for 5 minutes, and your fear will be instantly gone.

      So that's what I recommend doing to yourself. Just come up to people when waiting in line or something and force yourself to start talking to them. This will put you out as a social person which is great, but will moreover help you get rid of your fear. You are afraid of screwing up when you talk and saying something stupid and everyone will hate you for it. But that is not true. Not only will you not say anything like that, but even if you do, nothing will happen. People will keep on talking to you.

      So in your college or university or wherever you are right now, force yourself to talk with your colleagues. Just say "hey" and "how are you" and "what are you up to today". You will see that they'll be friendly, they won't bite, and will be just as friendly to you as you will be to them.

      Of course don't just come up to random people, but if you're in a group, and have a chance to talk, do it. Tell a joke, funny story, or talk about the class/work. This is the only way how you would get rid of your anxiety, along with your meditation.

      Good luck!

  8. QUESTION:
    My moms addicted to meth. Is it normal to have anxiety when people around me smoke pot?
    My mom has been addicted to meth for 5 years now. It ruined my family and my parents divorced over that and other issues. My boyfriend smoked before he was with me, but stopped when we got together. He did three times (with me knowing) while we were together, but I began to hyper ventilate and almost have an anxiety attack .
    Is it normal for children of drug addicted parents to go through such anxiety over a small thing like pot?

    • ANSWER:
      Well I would say that having so much family problems would lead for you be traumatized. So yes it is normal and I would say that the best thing to do would be to stay away from people who have anything to do with drugs because that usually will lead to more problems.

  9. QUESTION:
    does social anxiety cause boredom around people?
    i'm 16 and i was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder a couple months ago. when i actually do hang-out in small groups with the few friends that i do have, i just kinda feel left out and i get really bored after awhile.

    i love to be alone, but other times i would also love to be more social

    idk

    do you think social anxiety would cause my boredom around people?? how?

    • ANSWER:
      I would think that you might become anxious around people

      of you had social anxiety.

      Perhaps they meant being able to talk to new groups of people ?

      A pretty poor label to slap on someone where some role playing

      would have made a difference ?

      Strewth don't they consider ((adolescence as a problem in itself,)) if not

      your only problem, give it a couple of years the issue will no doubt self resolve.

      Do they even remember their developmental psychology studies ?

      Best Wishes.

      Mars Mission.

  10. QUESTION:
    How can I become comfortable around people?
    Over here it's after 10. I was bike riding a few minutes ago and I just had to come home because there were too many people out. I'm extremelly uncomfortable around people due to a lot of bad experiences. Plus I heard a bunch of teens yelling, probably drinking or something. I'm only 17 and I'm only 1 person by the way. I don't know what is going on with them exactly but I don't trust people my age. All the ones I dealt with were horrible people. My anxiety around people has gotten so bad that I can't even go out anymore. It's simply too stressful. I use to bike ride all the time at night but now I just don't. The reason I do is because they're are less people out, but for some reason there's still people out all the time. How do I become comfortable around people?

    • ANSWER:

  11. QUESTION:
    what can people with social anxiety do to feel better around people?
    i have a hard time around crowds and i just end up alone and basically getting away from the crowds

    • ANSWER:
      Start by having a talk with yourself on the way to your destination......Tell yourself that you are smart and friendly and people will like you.....Always helps me!!!!! Take care......

  12. QUESTION:
    Is it good to be around people the suffer from anxiety?
    my ex girlfriend suffer from anxiety, and she is friend with someone the got it really bad, i just wondering if it doing her any good?
    yes i know is no a virus, what i mean, talking about it, been with him will maybe trigger it more often, she is getting better, she is very strong, i just wanna help as much i can.

    • ANSWER:
      It is not contagious to be around someone who is anxious or depressed. Some else cannot cause you to be that way.

      The problem is most of do not enjoy being around someone who suffers from anxiety. It can make you uncomfortable and not know what to say or do. It certainly is no fun being with these people.

      However, it someone suffers anxiety or panic attacks and they are good friends then you need to see if you can give them some support. Normally these are shy people or people with low self esteem. So maybe you could help just by making them feel better about themselves. I know because I have been there and done that. I had good friends who helped me through the tough times of low self esteem

  13. QUESTION:
    Why do I continue to have an anxiety problem around people when I have no reason to?
    It is very confusing for me because I have this anxiety problem around others during class or most public settings but I have nothing to be worried about. Its not anything too serious that deals with panic attacks or breathing problems. I just get nervous for no reason. A bit of trembling with my hands happen at certain times when I feel like I am being watched. Im not trying to impress anyone around me. Im not trying to act cool or perfect to get friends or a girl. To be honest I dont really care about that kind of stuff right now anymore so why is the problem still there.

    Excercise does help me to lose some of the nervousness but why do I need to lean on excercise and other things to calm myself down when others can be in my position and they are fine or look to be perfectly fine.

    • ANSWER:
      Everyone gets nervous on the inside but most people just don't show it or learn how to hide it. I find I talk too much when I'm nervous, if I find myself babbling I try to stop talking or finish what I'm saying.

      I also blush sometimes and there's nothing I can do about it, just have to ride it out.

      Probably the best thing you can do is take a few deep breaths, increasing your oxygen intake has a calming effect on the body. I also try to wear cooler clothing as if I get hot under the collar it can be very uncomfortable.

      If this doesn't help you can go to the doctor and they may even offer you medication which keep you feeling chilled, valium is a common one but it is quite addictive. Relaxation techniques are much better for you, and having a girlfriend or boyfriend (sorry I didn't catch your gender) will make you calmer in life, relaxed and feeling less concerned by social situations.

  14. QUESTION:
    I get no pleasure from human interaction, and I get anxiety attacks when around people for extended periods?
    what could be wrong?
    naguru= blow me

    • ANSWER:
      Perhaps you lack confidence and fear interaction because of it. Fear is all in the mind - in fact fear is what we allow it to be and is pretty crippling. Why would you feel this way? What made you think this way? What is trying to rob you of joy, happiness, hope, love and other positive things?
      The only way to conquer this is to simply face the giants. Sure the first time is hard, but the more you practice this the better it gets. Instead of fearing CHOOSE to over ride your feelings and emotions and go out there and walk with confidence, speak with confidence, eat with confidence, stand with confidence and whatever it takes do it. You are somebody and that somebody has a place in the huge world puzzle piece that was created to be filled. Sadly negative thoughts has left gaping holes in that puzzle and some holes will never be filled by those destined to fill them because of one thing and that is called choice! You can choose to be positive or negative, good or bad, green or red - all are opposites one is hot and one is cold. Only you can choose it and no one else can do it for you. Either victor or victim. Whatever you do don't assume what you think others think of you. Break up the word assume and what do you see. The word makes and (a.s.s) out of (u) and (me). Assumption and presumption make fools of us and usually are completely unfounded. We become too consumed with self that way. When we sacrifice self and go out and do things for people - no matter how small and take mind off self and comfort and complacency we suddenly find purpose and why because we took action. Positive action too. You are hiding behind feelings of inadequacy. You are NOT inadequate in fact quite the opposite. You have gifts and talents - use them to the best of your ability - they are your tools. Smile at people. Be friendly and nice and you watch how people respond. Those who feel like you will fob you off but those who are the opposite will smile back and respond favorably towards you. Become fearless and see life as an adventure. Sure it will have knocks but thats all part of the refinement and maturing process every single person has to go through in life. It all comes down to CHOICE and choosing positive over negative. Only you can make your life good or bad and its your choice to make it one or the other. You are special and will even find someone special to be your partner and to run with - just get out of that negative zone and fast. Its actually easier than you can imagine!

  15. QUESTION:
    I got this cd to help overcome anxiety but do these work?
    I got this cd to help overcome and reduce anxiety its like positive affirmations... They say something and your suppose to repeat it out loud to yourself. Like I'm a strong and like able person. And you repeat it out loud. It says to listen to it for thirty days and I will get over my anxiety around people. Will this actually work? Is it effective? I'm a very negative person will this get rid of this?

    • ANSWER:

  16. QUESTION:
    Cures for social anxiety and shyness around new people?
    I've always been envious of those people that can just talk really easily to new people they meet and don't seem to get nervous at all.
    I have bad social anxiety, and its impossible for me to be myself when meeting new people, or be at all confident. I get really sick with anxiousness when I'm going somewhere I know a lot of people will be.
    I need to get over this because I'm going to college soon and no-one I know will be there..
    Is there anything I can do to stop this? Any tips...?

    • ANSWER:
      Take a speech class. This helpful, because you have to overcome it and everyone else is in the same boat. You are also thinking about other things, such as what you are speaking about, learning to become more organized and prepared around others, more composed, etc. Join some clubs where you can learn about something you are interested in, and be with others with similar interests. Volunteer to help others in some way. This will help you think of the people you are helping, and think less of your insecurities. It could be fun, too. Get a pet. They are nonjudgemental, help you get out with others (if it is a dog), fun when people say, "What a cute dog" and ask questions about the cutie. Or volunteer with a rescue league where you can help with the pets, but not own one if you are not in that position. Get more sleep, cut down on caffiene, eat a healthy diet, remember that we all have faults. We might be to short, too tall, fat, skinny (yes, they make fun of that, too), too talkative, too quiet, etc. You are you and you need to appreciate who you are. Try writing down everything about yourself you like or appreciate. Then, try thinking about these things, more often.

  17. QUESTION:
    im 16 and i think i have some kind of anxiety disorder around people?
    i have never been a huge fan of crowds, but lately i freak out when im near alot of people. a trip to a clothing store leaves me near hysterics. i feel like people are looking at me and making fun of me wherever i am. im only comfortable with a small group of friends. today i went to the movies and i had to call my friends and cancel becuase when i got there there were alot of people my age and i nearly freaked out just waiting in line for a freakin ticket. i knew quite a few of them and i didnt want anyone to see me, even though i see them at school everyday. i am recovering from bulemia and of course i still worry regularly about weight (im 5'5 and 115 lbs.) i think theres something wrong with me (besides the eating problems) please help me and tell me if i have some kind of mental problem.

    • ANSWER:
      It sounds like you have social anxiety. See your doctor. They can help you with counseling and/or medication.

  18. QUESTION:
    Anyone get nervous around people when you smoke weed?
    Sometimes I smoke and get anxiety around a lot of people. I start feeling very weird and self-conscious, like i'm different and everyone just wants me to go away. it's hard to talk to people and i just don't really feel like talking really. how do i get more confident?
    besides stopping smoking

    • ANSWER:
      when i used to smoke, i sometimes felt the same way. then i just said f*ck it. if they wanna judge, let them. just be yourself. as long as you're not hurting anybody, it shouldn't matter.

  19. QUESTION:
    Anxiety around black people?
    As a kid the only black person that went to my school was a big bully and I wasn't exactly the most popular guy in my school if you know what I mean. Now that I am grown up I feel a little awkward around black people I haven't met. It doesn't happen around the black people that I work with or have class with just strangers. It's not a hatred it's just a fear of offending them. And the fear of offending them just makes me feel even more anxiety. I work at a job that requires me to come in contact with strangers all the time so this awkwardness is unavoidable.All the black people i've taken the time to get to know are great people so I know there is no real reason to feel this way. So how do I get over this?

    • ANSWER:
      If that is truly the cause of your racism (which I doubt it is), then what has happened here is you have generalized your anxiety from this one black person. But since when you do this, you are focusing solely on his identity as BLACK, you are actually being racist when you generalize your anxiety. So what I would recommend to you is maybe read up on some sociological material about race and social constructionism. The more you understand, the less you will homogenize black people--this is the cause of your anxiety towards black people.

      Honestly, if this answer gets a thumbs down, its because the person is extremely undereducated and doesn't understand how understanding race from a sociological perspective can help you overcome your own racist mentality.

  20. QUESTION:
    I feel anxiety when im alone and when im around people?
    My hands are shaking and my head do some weird reflexes and when I think I think so fast and wrong like if I'm running away from a killer trying to catch me or something. I'm so nervous and freaked out by my self and I'm always tired no matter how much sleep hours I get I feel awful. And I feel I lack of strength in my lamps and I'm so negative and get down and give up easily.

    • ANSWER:
      I have anxiety too you are not alone. You need to see a doctor. He can diagnose you and put you on some medicine that will make you calmer and maybe seeing a therapist will help too.

  21. QUESTION:
    how do I block people out??? I have major anxiety when im around people!?
    I drive myself crazy ereryday when I go somewhere. The thought of people being around me makes me go insane. I get paranoid. Im not paranoid someones gonna harm me or anything like that but I get paranoid that people may be looking at me and thinking negative thoughts!!! Or thinking im weird looking and scary or something!!

    When people are around me I tense up and I cant relax! I see everyone else being calm but im just on edge. I just want to relaxxxxxxxx. Ive tried everything cousenling and breathing but nothing works I think it's in my DNA now. I dont want to take medication. I jerk and twitch when people are around me but i'm calm when no ones around. I want to be THAT calm in public too!!!!

    • ANSWER:
      if this is disruptive to your life you should seek psychological counseling from another source; if you wait, it is more likely to get worse than better

  22. QUESTION:
    How do I block people out??? I have major anxiety when im around people!1?
    I drive myself crazy ereryday when I go somewhere. The thought of people being around me makes me go insane. I get paranoid. Im not paranoid someones gonna harm me or anything like that but I get paranoid that people may be looking at me and thinking negative thoughts!!! Or thinking im weird looking and scary or something!!

    When people are around me I tense up and I cant relax! I see everyone else being calm but im just on edge. I just want to relaxxxxxxxx. Ive tried everything cousenling and breathing but nothing works I think it's in my DNA now. I dont want to take medication. I jerk and twitch when people are around me but i'm calm when no ones around. I want to be THAT calm in public too!!!!

    • ANSWER:
      You may have developed social anxiety or something like social anxiety, with the right treatment, which is usually just talking since you have developed a negative thinking style (medication wouldnt help for anyway so don't worry about having to take medication), will help you get over this. As the one above me already said you gradually expose yourself to the situation you fear the most and then write thought diaries and rate them how you feel and what you could have thought instead and then rerate how you feel again etc (in therapy they tell you how to do it exactly)
      I am like that too so you are not alone, but i'm not as bad as i used to be since i am beginning to not wonder what others are thinking due to all the thought diaries i have written which proved to me that i am being stupid and i have no proof about what others are thinkin and eventually i started to learn that i don't care because i started to gain more confidence over time. I used to ALWAYS keep wondering what others are thinking of me ALL THE TIME that it became so disabling for me that i stayed away from anyone. Have a read through this site it may help you :)
      http://helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.htm

  23. QUESTION:
    I'm trying to get ss desability for my social anxiety disorder. It makes it really hard to work around people?
    I can't work round people I don't know. It's really hard to. Do you think they'll approve me and give me ss disability money each month?

    • ANSWER:
      no since you can get many jobs which dont' require interaction w/ others.

  24. QUESTION:
    Why do I get anxiety around specific people?
    I used to always feel sick around my boyfriend (were gonna be ex's soon, after we talk). I would feel sick whenever I went to his house, and sometimes I actually threw up. I hadn't eaten all day so I threw up acid and spit. And I could NEVER eat in front of him, or else my tummy would feel sick. I also felt icky eating in front of his mom or dad, even when he wasn't around. So I decided I might have Social Anxiety Disorder - Fear Of Eating In Front Of Others. However, I found out I didn't have this because I went to a restaurant with 10 of my female friends and I was perfectly fine.

    • ANSWER:
      Love sickness isn't mental illness. It's normal.

  25. QUESTION:
    what is wrong with me i am very shy around people and i get anxiety very easily ?
    i get scared from the stupidest things
    for example i get irrational thoughts from just asking someone for a pencil.
    i am also very scared of getting up in front of people like at school we have to do presentations and i have gone up before but i don't remember barely any of it it was just a blur and before i go up and present i start having anxiety i shake a lot too but it's not noticeable is this normal help me!!

    • ANSWER:
      I know exactly what you are going through. I remember being in middle school, taking a test with a runny nose. It was getting real bad, but I just kept sniffling because I was too afraid to get up and get a tissue. It's a completely normal action to get up and get a tissue, just like it is completely normal for you to ask someone for a pencil, but we both feel a lot of anxiety at just the thought of doing it.

      I think it is normal, but it is something to overcome. I know it's easier said than done, but try to force yourself into social situations. Join a club where you can relate to people about something you will all have in common. It might help you adjust easier if you do it with a friend as well. The more you force yourself into social settings, the easier it will gradually become to be in them. You will come to find that there is no reason to be shy and anxious, as people are not as judgmental of you as you are of yourself.

  26. QUESTION:
    What are ways to reduce my anxiety when speaking to people?
    I get very anxious around people, my mind goes blank and I tremble. It makes me very depressed..

    • ANSWER:

  27. QUESTION:
    Why can't I just be comfortable around people? Is this a confidence issue or anxiety issue?
    I'm 24 years old, and I'm a girl. I have this problem where I can't be myself around people. When I'm at home and with my family, I'm 100% comfortable. I can speak my mind, I can joke around and act like myself. But when I go anywhere on my own in public, a switch flips. I act shy, quiet, I don't know what to say to people. I get really self conscious. I can't be myself. Worst of all I act like a kid. People assume I'm 18 or younger. It doesn't help that I look young for my age. During conversations I mainly just listen to people and make small comments on what they say, I don't really add anything to the conversation. I usually feel extremely awkward and weird around people. I feel all tense, stressed out, and anxious. I can't stand it. Sometimes I stutter or fumble with my words.

    It takes me a long time to warm up to people. I met this girl at work and we clicked pretty fast. We became really good friends and I can be myself around her. With some people it's really easy for me to be myself, mainly people who are younger and shyer than I am. Sometimes I catch myself acting different around each person. One of my friends makes me feel and act competitive. Another makes me act like a goofball. It's very rare that I feel comfortable enough to just be me.

    I also tend to get defensive and take things very personally. I read into things too much and assume that it's about me, when it might not be. I get embarrassed easily and beat myself up for dumb things I say or do. I find myself telling myself I am stupid for things I did years ago. I also noticed that I can get obsessed about things. Sometimes I listen to the same songs over and over because they make me feel a certain way. If I like a guy, I will read into his actions, become more sensitive to the things he says and does, and I'll talk about him a lot. I assume that's somewhat normal, but I'm not sure.

    I can't seem to pay attention to details. If someone wants me to do something, they have to tell me every single detail about it, otherwise I'll probably miss something. I could go on and on.

    Does this sound like a confidence issue or an anxiety issue? Maybe both?

    Any advice?

    • ANSWER:
      It is essentially a self confidence issue that causes social anxiety, and is more common than you think.

      The most common issue is the person is too serious, which seems to be your case. I was the same way at a point, always reading into things and only feeling comfortable around people I felt I knew well. I had major dating problems because I looked into everything too much and scared people away.

      It wasn't until I studied social psychology that I learned enough to know what I had to do.

      You need to condition yourself to be less serious. There are many methods but I will tell you the one that helped me and some of my friends. The first step is to get a journal. In this journal, your goal is to make one positive compliment to someone a day and record what you said and their reaction. It can be to both sexes but lean towards complimenting the opposite sex more often because that is harder to do. You should also be complimenting someone different everyday, if possible. Its okay to repeat a person but try to do this to new people or people you want to get to know better. This is called positive stroking and is a technique used by psychologist to help patients with social anxiety and shyness. You do this for 1 month.

      Remember a compliment doesn't have to be elaborate, if you meet someone and say "I like your watch," that is a compliment and you are done for the day.

      The next month you basically do the same thing except instead of complimenting, you must strike up small talk or a conversation with someone new everyday and record it in your diary (you don't need to write it word for word, just a summary). These can be very short, as long as you go back and forth twice with a person that's good enough. Again, you can use people you know or repeat people but the harder you push yourself the faster you will overcome your shyness.

      After this you should be in the habit of engaging people and you want to continue this habit, gradually increase the number of people you talk to and soon you will find it easy to strike up a conversation for the hell of it, so when you actually want to talk to a person about something you will be a pro!

      The last thing I must say is that you can't expect your shyness to go away. Every psychology student learns their first semester that shyness is a human quality that generally stays the same throughout life, that is unless you actively try to change it. Also, I know this method seems systematic which is usually not how social things go, but remember that we are essentially providing a therapy for a mental condition.

      Good Luck!

  28. QUESTION:
    How to be less anxious around people?
    My old friend is coming over my house in an hour and I'm really nervous. I have social anxiety and get vrey anxious around people. How can I fix this before she comes?

    • ANSWER:
      When I get nervous, I BREATHE... LONG, DEEP BREATHS and I tell myself that it's okay.
      FIrst, just face that you're nervous and that this feeling won't last forever... Breath, listen to a soothing/upbeat song...
      Stretch... Eat something... Chew slowly and slow down your breathing...

      I'm so excited for you! :D Have fun with your friend!

  29. QUESTION:
    Social Anxiety Disorder and eating around people?
    Hi, after a series of rather traumatising events, I, at the age of 13, developed Social Anxiety Disorder. I'm 14, almost 15 now, and I've really come very far in beating my social anxiety disorder. I now have one friend, and it is looking hopeful that I make more friends soon. I'm definitely feeling more confident. Anyway, I still haven't gotten over the social anxiety completely, but I'm trying to take it in little steps. I have a real problem with eating around people, I just can't at all, only if I KNOW that no-one is looking at me and if it's an easy to eat food, like a Bueno Bar, that I can break into little pieces and eat quickly and easily. But even so, I still feel anxious.
    I guess I'm just looking for some advice/tips? It's really difficult and I'd like to be able to eat in public. I don't bring lunch to school, because I'm scared of eating in front of people. Thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      Congrats on the progress you have made!

      Just take little steps in regards to your eating. When you go to school, for lunch, take the foods you described that you can break in little pieces. Make yourself sit in the lunch room, take a deep breath, and eat. Make sure you have something you can drink like water, pop, etc. Don't feel scared about eating in front of others because they are feeling the same way you are.

      My big thing was eating pizza in front of other people because pizza is so messy. I overcame it with time. You can too.

      Just take it one meal at a time. Good luck! And, stay positive.

  30. QUESTION:
    What are good jobs for people who have Anxiety?
    i GAD and i can't be to much around people.. but i have to get a job soon.. whats something good? any advice please feel free.
    best regards

    • ANSWER:
      I also have GAD and Bipolar disorder. My favorite job has been cashiering at small stores. Do not take a job like this in like a walmart, but somewhere like a pharmacy is really nice. It's enough social contact to make the day go by, but not enough to stress me out.
      Working in an animal shelter is good too. Animals have been proven to have a calming effect, and the only people there are the 5 or 6 other employees and the people looking to adopt.
      Things to stay away from: Anything to do with answering phones. Worst job I ever had for spiking my anxiety. I went to bed a wreck and woke up worse. By the time I quit I was having full blown panic attacks at the thought of going to work.

  31. QUESTION:
    can someone hate being in public around people without having social anxiety?
    l mean sometimes l would get nervous around people in public but only because l have had experiences with people harassing me in public. l mostly want to stay home all the time. l dont like people l basically despise humans, and there are a lot of nasty people out there, l rather just be in my bed, instead of dealing with rudeness/dirty looks and embarrassment, l dont want to argue with a stranger or deal with snobs since so many exist in my area. now it just aggravates me to be in public, now l just have a scowl on my face if lm ever out the negative environment turned me bitter. l would be fine being in public if there no people around, but unforutnaley l live in a big city with way too many people which is a nightmare for me, l hate dealing with snobby looks from girls and creepy stares from guys, someone said l may have social anxiety l dont really get anxious per se, just more like l dont want to be involved social interaction,l have always been a shy and a quiet person, l also plan to move to a smaller town with less people when lm older, lm 16yr girl. does this sound like social anxiety or more like anti-social behavior?

    • ANSWER:
      it sounds like both to me, if you can try to take some meds, they help,

  32. QUESTION:
    how can i become comfortable around people?
    it happens more around people i dont know but i notice i get a little nervouse even around my parents like im under pressure and im walking on ice. im just wondering is there a way i can loose this anxiety and enjoy peoples company

    • ANSWER:
      try to get to know people, so that you can trust them enough to feel welcome and not be nervous because i use to be nervouse before but i open myself a lil bit more and now i dont feel nervouse around people

  33. QUESTION:
    Help....what do i do? I have social anxiety i get nervous around people...its makes people uncomfortable....?

    • ANSWER:
      alot of people are like that just relax even i am too but i let go so i can have fun and so should you just mix in and talk to people and dont forget to smile once you are not nervous you'll realize how much more fun it is to let loose :]

  34. QUESTION:
    Please Please, I need Your Help ! How can I Stop Getting So Much Anxiety when Im around A Lot of people ?
    I do sometimes and dont know why. My heart beats and hands shake and feel like their all staring at me when their not. And The only thing I think is, I cant wait to get the hell outta here. Like at school, or the mall .. How can I stop getting so much anxiety when Im around alot of people ??

    • ANSWER:
      You could have social phobia. If you do, no amount of self help books will help you. It's not an issue of confidence. It's a phobia. Just like the fear of spiders or fear of heights.
      It may go away by itself when you're older, or it may not. You may choose to wait until it goes away or you may choose to fight it as soon as you can.
      Getting treatment will help you get rid of anxiety. For me it was the only way. I'm so grateful I did seek therapy. I'm on antidepressants and getting cognitive behavioral therapy, and I'm on the way to being completely cured.

  35. QUESTION:
    Overcoming social anxiety, nervousness in school and around people and public places?
    I always imagine myself how cool i would be and how many friends i would have if i was more social and not so nervous around people. I always think the day before that im gonna be confident the next day. But when i get to school my heart starts racing and i get so nervous around people. WHY? Please help?
    I KNOW THAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO THIS BUT I CANT lol im just way too nervous for no reason. Its like i have a real bad disorder how can i clam myself down

    • ANSWER:
      Social anxiety emerges at different developmental stages. Babies develop a fear of strangers at seven months, not before. Separation anxiety is quite clear in some children—perhaps more obvious in three-year-olds we take to daycare than in five-year-olds going off to kindergarten. Being alone is difficult for children ages six to eight, but actually becomes desirable as they approach puberty and adolescence. Solitude becomes more important as anxiety about physical appearance and performance in school increases. We also know that traumatic or stressful life events occurring at an early developmental stage may increase the risk of social anxiety disorder.

      Chemical Imbalances

      Individuals with social anxiety disorder (and other emotional disorders) probably have abnormalities in the functioning of some parts of their anxiety response system. Most often, the symptoms of long-term social anxiety disorder can be attributed to an improper chemical balance in the brain. There are several key neurotransmitters, namely Serotonin, Norepinephrine and Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), which are produced in the brain and directly affect the way we feel about a given thought or situation.

  36. QUESTION:
    I'm nervous and have anxiety being around these people?
    I get nervous and jittery around these people that I like each time I see them for no reason and I can't explain why, I find it rather strange and I can say hi to them and just a few things and can't keep a conversation. I really like them and they are nice. Most of the time I stop in the middle and my mind goes blank and stop talking. Its really embarrasing and I feel like I don't have enough guts to tell them how I feel because I would feel embarrased. I would really like to have some advice, such as could medication help me or if theres a good vitamin supplement that can help stop that, I'm not like that with everybody else. I want to feel comfortable with them.

    • ANSWER:
      maybe you should suggest that you and they hangout a bit together...or start meeting people one-on-one instead of in a group environment.

      These should help a bit

  37. QUESTION:
    Finding it hard to feel love for the people around me? Social anxiety?
    I'm 13. (Don't be all, "oh it's just a kid thinking too much, teenage hormones and the lot. Finally seeing the harshness of reality)Please read this. I think I'm losing my ability to love somehow. Or the feeling. Because before I was aware of all these dilemmas around me I've become so selfish and only care about myself. I mean, I always had problems and hardships (more than most, actually) and this has deteriorated my love for others. I also have a bad case of social anxiety. Before I though the sorts of things I faced were a part of everyday life and most of them were my fault and my burden and nobody needed to know about them. I handled them myself, and only cared for others and felt indescribably intense loving and compassion for the people around me. Hee hee(Ya, very very painful amount) and I was such a caring, selfless (when I think about it now, and I am not exaggerating) person and now I know I had a very low view of myself-hated myself then and that). By the way, I'd matured and thought about a lot of things more than most people even at a younger age. But after people have noticed what I'm going through they're starting to treat me like I should be in a mental hospital and I never had self-pity before but now others are reacting to it I've sort of woken up to the fact that I should deserve more and it's not just the way things are. I mean before I used to care far more for the people around me with less problems than I faced and now it's like the whole word revolves around me...I just feel such hatred towards everyone now (and it was NOT because I was innocent and unperturbed before, because I was hardly and I'm finally getting a taste of the world or anything) and I can no longer understand or perceive the feelings of others and I'm becoming ruthless almost. I feel really bad about it. I'm not even treating my family members (who are actually helping me) in a grateful way. It feels like I'm detached from the world around me and I notice unusual things, and the world goes rather fuzzy and dreamy and I lose touch with reality and I imagine things. It's very hard to explain really. I've always been pretty misunderstood (Don't think "ungrateful kid...") because I "see the world in a different way" and I come up with bits of philosophy (It's ok, I don't think I'm einstein or anything, heh heh, there's just no other way to describe it). But all these weird things happen...it's so distorted and weird. :( I also have terrible low confidence and always felt before that I love everyone so so so much and I don't know how to show it and I felt absolutely overwhelmed with love for others (Sorry about the soppiness) and those aren't words for it either.
    My main question is will your ability to love and empathise and sympathise with others return (because before I had such an uncanny ability to sense others feelings and understand them DEEPLY. I could basically BE them, and actually sometimes during that dreamy feeling it comes back and I've been having that "dreamy feeling" since I was 4 and was always confused by it. Any idea what it is? I almost feel depressed nowadays.
    Ok, can you reassure me, that my feeling side will return after the issues disturbing me at the moment are all gone and I'll be able to get close to people again (because now it feels like a bubble against everyone else) and I'm just observing and I'm not part of anyone (Ok, I've always felt like this but I was never unselfish, unloving, ruthless, insensitive etc before) and I can never be myself ever, because this always makes me so angry and I have quite a serious case of social anxiety and low confidence with all my other issues (that I do not really want to talk about, I'm afraid) but since very young I've had that feeling which made me feel understood, which made me not act myself (anger) and not even with my friends (social anxiety, you know all the symptoms, it's TERRIBLE, and it sounds like you're only shy but it's not just that of course) which made me look very immature and thoughtless but I was so much more mature and kind inside and noone saw my actions back then but I did a LOT for others when they didn't know.
    You know, it is VERY lonely to know that you don't think like most people and after all we're separate (which makes you depressed) and you have to deal with your own life and we all see things in a slightly slanted perception, but most people get over it by doing it. It's probably mostly because I've been in my head for so long.

    • ANSWER:
      i didn't acturly read ALL of it (To lazy) :3
      But, what i got, is maybe you need to spend time with family and friends more? and just plan things YOU wanna do, get out, enjoy the sun (if there is any where you live) and..that.. i feel the same, sometimes then i think of good times, and think of dreams.. ;D

  38. QUESTION:
    Where can I live where there's a very little amount of people?
    I live in New York and I feel very uneasy about being around people. What state/city in the states has very few people? It kills me that I already have to let my boyfriend go off to college but I really don't want to be alive if we have to be around people. My anxiety/panic attacks are getting worse and I just can't be happy anymore. I just want to get away as soon as I can. Can someone help make a suggestion?

    • ANSWER:
      Upstate NY. Small towns with less then 2000 residences, 10 plus acres. You can even find a house on the mountain with the nearest neighbor 1 or 2 miles away.

  39. QUESTION:
    I'm always either irritated or anxious around people- what could this be?
    I'm going to my doctor in a few weeks because I feel that I may have depression.
    But aside from that, I have been having another problem for far longer.

    Sometimes I don't even want to be bothered by people. Other times I get lonely and upset because I don't have any close friends- anyone I talk to at school feels more like an "acquaintance". I'm either annoyed and irritated by someone's company, or I'm anxious around people.

    For example, I will avoid people because I just don't feel like being bothered. For another example, I find myself unable to talk, or stuttering badly because I'm nervous around someone.

    I don't know if this would be social anxiety, because though I do have moments when I am uncomfortable around people, it's not continuous. If I'm in a crowded place, I may feel fine- anxiety is only occasional.

    Unlike the depression-like feelings, which have been going on since August, this irritation/anxiety/avoiding people has been going on for several years. It's just a part of life for me it seems.

    A part of me wants to be more social, but the other part doesn't even want to be bothered! It's weird and almost contradictory, I don't even understand myself.

    What can this be? It this some personality disorder?

    • ANSWER:
      It sounds like anxiety for sure. Anxiety isn't always continual. It comes and goes. Get your thyroid gland checked. Fluctuations can definitely cause anxiety. If it's all normal, bipolar disorder could be a possibility. I'd still bet on the thyroid though.

  40. QUESTION:
    How to stop feeling nervous around people?
    I feel nervous around everyone, including my friends and family.
    My anxiety gets even worse when relatives come over my house and ask me questions.
    Why do people love to ask me so many questions? I hate to answer their questions??
    I alway get nervous and my mind goes blank when people talk to me.
    How do I stop feeling so nervous around people all the time? How do I stop my mind from going blank when people talks to me?

    • ANSWER:
      I don't know how to answer this question at all since ive never been a shy person(sometimes i talk to much). Just remember this though no one is judging you harder then you are judging yourself!

  41. QUESTION:
    Could theater help me with anxiety?
    I have terrible anxiety especially around people. I start to become paranoid, shaky, nervous.

    Usually in classes, I get very paranoid and when it's presentation time I get very very nervous. Sometimes I will fake it but it's the worst feeling ever or I will pass presenting.

    SO my question is, do you think if I take theater classes at school I can get practice and I will be less nervous, etc?

    • ANSWER:
      Trust me, joining theatre will get rid of ALL OF THAT. I joined theatre for the first time this year and it has changed the way I performed and presented things more than ever. I'm also a very paranoid and nervous person. Theatre has relieved some of that anxiety and I encourage you to join it. Anxiety may not go away completely and right away, but being in theatre will def reduce it. Good luck and I hope you take my advice :)

  42. QUESTION:
    How do you deal with looking like a mentally challenged person when you are not one?
    These listed questions are for those who have the same problem as I do.
    Do you have the same problem?
    What do you do?
    How do you deal with it?
    Are you successfull?
    Do you get anxiety around people?
    How do you react to people when they think your something your not?
    Do you worry about what people think?
    Have you actually felt as if you were retarted because so many people have?
    Oops I sort of messed up tis question tat does not mean I am retarted.

    • ANSWER:
      Yes, I have been severely depressed, and people could tell by looking at me, or trying to wait for me to be able to speak a sentence.

      It was a lesson in humility.

  43. QUESTION:
    I have bad social anxiety. What can i do to relax around people?
    I have a bridal shower this weekend. i barely know the bride or her friends/family. i can't bring anyone along to make me feel more comfortable (not that i know many people even if i could), so i don't know how to get through it. i usually find an excuse not to go. i dread spending hours feeling awkward and trying to make small talk, just waiting for it to be over. everyone else there is so comfortable and friendly with eachother, but i come off awkward and people tend to avoid me. i avoid them too. i dont know how to talk to people, even if they try to start a conversation. i dont have any responses. when people talk to me, thoughts just don't come into my head beyond a quick polite reply. then just awkward quietness. nothing. i dont know what to do besides take xanax and try to leave early. i dont know what to say, who to talk to, who to sit by. i buildup all this anxiety before the day is even here. why is this so hard for me... does anyone have a tips that would help me get through this weekend? should i just not go?

    • ANSWER:
      You should go. and you should try to find more opportunities to socialize period. The more you force yourself to do it, the better it will get. Consider it an exercise. and continue to force yourself. start off small and if you have to leave early so be it. basically you will be reconditioning yourself to be more out going.
      Good Luck and dont beat yourself up, many people deal with this.

  44. QUESTION:
    What is the best antidepressant with least side effects?
    I am 20, male and I have been depressed for about 4 years. I was gonna take st john's wort, but was told by my psychiatrist that it's not really effective...so he suggested antidepressants. I also get quite extreme anxiety around people. I'm gonna talk to my doctor before I decide which one I'm gonna use but I'd like to hear what any of you think if you've had any experience with antidepressants . Which are the best?

    • ANSWER:
      If you are suffering from clinical depression, which it sounds like, because of the prolonged nature of it (4 years is a long time) -- no matter how many vitamins or herbals you take, or walks you do... is going to cure you.

      There is no such thing as "best"... everyone has a different make up. If you have had a close family member suffering from it.. try first what they are on. That often works well, because of the shared chemicals. It is mostly trial and error.

      I have heard from friends, Effexor works well. Keeps you energized, and in high spirits. The trouble, like all anti-depressants for males, is sexual drive decrease. It's not THAT bad, if you are worrying, from the point of a woman! lol Been with men taking it, and, they make too much out of it.

      I personally would say, stay away from Prozac if anything.

  45. QUESTION:
    How can I get rid of my social anxiety?
    I have really bad social anxiety, and I want to know what I can do help me relax around people. Thanks =]

    • ANSWER:

  46. QUESTION:
    What kind of jobs are out there for people with anxiety disorders?
    I'm 18 years old, when i was 13 i was told that i have a severe anxiety disorder.
    I feel very uncomfortable around people to the point where i get anxiety or panic attacks.
    I was put on zoloft when i was 14 and i'm still on it.
    I had a bad experience working at McDonalds with very angry customers which resulted in me having a panic attack.
    My manager told me that if he had of known i had this disorder he would never of hired me.

    I'm alot better with people now, but i still have some social problems and i cannot handle being in a job where i have to directly deal with people.
    I'm very anxiety pronned and always scared and nervous around others.

    What jobs are out there for people like me? I need something where i don't have to deal with lots of people directly. I want to be in the background somewhere.

    Sorry i know this is a hard question but i feel like a total freak being so lame around others...

    Help please, thankyou!

    • ANSWER:
      Hi :) I understand, I have an anxiety disorder and panic attacks too. and people make me shaky too. Hey you are NOT a freak. Some people just don't understand anxiety. They should give courses on educating people that don't have anxiety on how to be understanding. As far as jobs go, there are a lot of jobs out there i'm sure you'll find something. you could try unloading trucks or stocking groceries. best of luck to ya

  47. QUESTION:
    How to be less nervous around other people?
    i have a social anxiety disorder and i want to know how to get rid of it. I get really tense and wide-eyed. I just look flat out nervous. I think it freaks people out so i want to know how to relax and be confident around people.

    • ANSWER:
      Act confident- breathe deeply, hold you shoulders back and head high, this will make you seem more approachable and people'll be more likely to talk to you. I'm extremely shy and often do this- it helps more than it sounds like it will. You could even try imitating the behaviour of other people around you, it'll make you feel more confident. If I'm feeling particularly confident I even make jokes about my shyness although normally I'm too nervous.

      Good luck, it's not easy x

  48. QUESTION:
    How can I stop being so nervous around people?
    I get so nervous when I'm around a lot of people or if I'm asked to go out with someone (not even on a date, just in general). People seem to like me and genuinely want to hang out with me, but I always find myself making up excuses to get out of it just because of my anxiety. How can I get over this?

    Sorry if this is in the wrong category. I don't know where to put it.

    • ANSWER:
      I learned this in my Psychology of human relations class. Anxieties are the fear of somethign unknown. To overcome this fear you need to define what it is exactly that you are afraid of. Are you afraid of being hurt? Being too surrounded? When you sit and think about it and continue putting yourself in the situation of being around people then you will be able to fix the problem. I would suggest trying to slowly push yourself to being social with people. Try going to a bar, or to a party or something where there isnt alot of conversation but just small talk. It sounds like you are afraid of being close to people. Try this and slowly easy yourself in. That is the only way to overcome it.

  49. QUESTION:
    Is there a way to get over social anxiety?
    My social anxiety stems from my teenage years when I had stage 5 acne(affecting roughly 1 in 10,000 during their adolencense) nodular cystic acne over 80% of my face. I'm clear now, but I have never got rid of the anxiety I feel around people.

    I'm in a band, and while I've played many shows, I still get so nervous I almost puke when I go out in play. The only thing I have found that helps is having some alcohol before the show, but not enough to affect my coordination.

    Any medications or anything availiable for this?
    "but I have never got rid of the anxiety I feel around people."

    No, I have never relearned how to function around people. I shake often when people are staring at me doing an action, and experience the same feelings in public, although I'm usually not under the affects of alcohol.

    • ANSWER:
      use visualization techniques,some times anxiety comes from your energy drive,it means that you have so much to give ,and since is not until you perform ,you will react differently from time to time,speak to yourself or your mind and tell it to stay calm,once you're performing focus on what you are doing ,and if possible try to look at somebody from the public that nods to you ,is like some body is telling you its OK you are doing right,over time you will gain control over it,besides sometimes is a good sign that you feel like that ,because it means that you like and enjoy what you're doing!!!

  50. QUESTION:
    my hands get shaky when i do practical experiments around a group of people.What could be the problem?
    I am a microbiologist therefore i do biological experiments when i hold laboratory apparatus like a test-tube around people my hands get shaky i don't know why?I have noticed anxiety,caffeine and embarrassment is a trigger.But when am alone i don't have shaky hands when handling these lab apparatus.So what could be the problem i really need help?

    • ANSWER:


I Get Anxious Around People

Written By: admin - Jun• 12•12

Anxiety of Alcoholism and Symptoms of Anxiety Depression nearly cost me my life

Google the word Alcoholism and you will get 25,400,000 search results. Addiction of Alcohol and Symptoms of Anxiety Depression can reduce the toughest person to a babbling wreck. Anxiety of Alcoholic relapse is a real factor in your quest to remain sober. Stop anybody in the street and ask them what they associate with the word Alcoholism and the answers will more than likely include the replies, hitting rock bottom,detox, down and out, addiction, messed up life, homelessness, crime blah blah blah. Pay a little more attention and do your research and you can find out that when you drive at night one out of seven drivers on the road are legally drunk. The Medical Research Council states that alcohol abuse costs the South African economy around R9 billion a year and half of all murders are the result of drunkenness. The stats are never-ending and cover all aspects of South African society from child abuse to pedestrian deaths, home violence and the tragic cases of childbirth defects. Almost all events that you consider bad news probably have to a certain degree alcohol involved somewhere or other.

However on the inevitable other side of the coin, studies have found that the use of alcohol has significant advantages in the general treatment of stress, heart disease and related illnesses. Add to this the economic benefits of a massive industry contributing to the nations wealth and job creation and we almost have a stalemate.

Into this balancing act comes the plight of the individual. Somebody once said, and the name escapes me now, that there are stats, more stats and then there is damn lies. But there is no doubt in my mind that this is a problem that has to be looked at very carefully. The general consensus is that approximately 1 in 17 people over the age of 15 years are predisposed to the potentially fatal illness of Alcoholism. Another frightening stat holds the premise that only 1 in 37 diagnosed Alcoholics ever make a full recovery over the long-term. Food for thought indeed.

A few years ago I went through the ordeal and horrors of acute alcoholism. I was one of the fortunate ones. I survived though the grace of God, the love and compassion of my loved ones and friends and the skill and care of the medical profession. I went on to write a feature article for Mens Health which turned out to be my heartfelt account of my spiral into a dark world of despair, desperation and depression.The article itself contained nothing new for students of this silent killer disease. Started drinking. drunk more, made excuses, raged at the world in general, got drunker, screwed up everything dear to me, approached death, ruined my body and my mind and finally thankfully collapsed and went to hospital and dried out . The reaction to my "Unhappy Hour" article was overwhelming. I was soon to realize that this was an epidemic spinning out of control. I was definitely not alone.

I went on to regain my self-esteem and rebuild my life. A close call that many people do not make it out of and then have the luxury sitting and looking back as I have.So now there I sat congratulating myself on beating the odds. Now what?

Well to be brutally honest "now what" involved a new phase of my life that would require me to bite the bullet all over again, except this time this was not going to be solved with a 10 day detox and sleep therapy, in some overpriced private hospital. My Doctors words started to resonate in my brain. " It's simple Alan, do not drink again and you'll be fine. Drink, you'll die"

That was it in plain English. The only problem was that I was having a problem coming to terms with that concept. Let me get this straight. I was 45 years old and let's say I lived until 80. 80 minus 45 gives you 35 years. A long, long time in anybodies world. That's a hell of a lot of braais, weddings, celebrations, bad days, shit bosses, traffic jams, disappointments, closing deals and watching the Boks beat the All Blacks and Chuck Norris 50- nil. Maybe the medical guys had made a mistake. Maybe I was not an alcoholic. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Time was to prove them right. I had not beaten the odds. Eighteen months later on one particular bleak July day in a not so sunny Margate I sunk a bottle of my favourite hard tack and ended up in the emergency room waiting for a stomach pump. For some obscure reason only known to the big guy upstairs I made it out of the hole again. As my relationship, business and health were back on the line once again, I finally made the decision. My version of mothers milk had to part company and this time for good.

I had now became a member of a club that nobody in their right mind wants to join. Serving a life sentence with no parole. The medical advice now became quite specific. Not a drop of alcohol to pass my lips. The 6% or so of us who have this defective gene are advised to not take the chance of alcohol entering our system in any form whatsoever. This unnamed and undetectable gene sends us types dilly and as a result we cannot have a few dops after work or at the weekend just in case we go berserk and drink ourselves into an early grave.

Once I had heard my sentence I now had to work out how to serve it. I've read that real prisoners talk about "hard and soft time". It was at this time that I had an "Oprah" moment. I got it. Regret is too mild a description. I had screwed up big time and now was going to have to pay for it. Big time. Hospitalization had ridden me of my withdrawal symptoms but now I had to deal with the mind games.

The public at large are no doubt familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous and the sterling work that they do to help those unfortunates stricken with this potentially fatal disease. Day by day is their anthem. Most of us initially fight against this prognosis dished up to us and truly believe that we will beat the odds. We start to think that maybe they had got it wrong. Maybe I can have a break and start again. Here came those dam maybes again. So, for many, starts the so-called falling off the wagon and then having to pick yourself up again. But the awful reality is that " they" were more than likely right and you have to make a plan. Somewhere,sometime I came across a quote from one of those old guys in the good old days. I think it was the American poet Robert Frost. As he sat in the countryside he came up with something that, for me summons up this whole fight with alcoholism -

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    How to be less anxious around people?
    My old friend is coming over my house in an hour and I'm really nervous. I have social anxiety and get vrey anxious around people. How can I fix this before she comes?

    • ANSWER:
      When I get nervous, I BREATHE... LONG, DEEP BREATHS and I tell myself that it's okay.
      FIrst, just face that you're nervous and that this feeling won't last forever... Breath, listen to a soothing/upbeat song...
      Stretch... Eat something... Chew slowly and slow down your breathing...

      I'm so excited for you! :D Have fun with your friend!

  2. QUESTION:
    How do i become less anxious around people im not comfortable with?
    i've had this problem all my life where i freeze up and get nervous around people i dont talk to often or i tend to act obviously nervous or say stupid things. i can say that im somwhat confident, but not much. how do i change this so i can talk to people without turning red or breaking a sweat? thanks :)

    • ANSWER:
      Progressive desensitization, which is fancy psychology speak for "put yourself in the situation until your nervousness goes away in the situation" is what you need.

      Realize that people aren't judging you, and you shouldn't care anyway. Just make a point of talking to people if that's what makes you nervous. Let your body be nervous and keep your mind focused on what you're trying to accomplish, like having a fun conversation. After a while you'll realize that you've become more calm in that situation.

  3. QUESTION:
    i hate being alone but feel anxious around people how can i feel more comfortable around my peers?
    i was bullied through out most of highschool and it ruined my self esteem. I now have problems trusting people and when ever im around others i cannot really connect to them. I hate being alone and feeling alienated but at the same time i dont want to risk being humiliated again. Can i get my confidence back or will i just have to live the rest of my life as a hermit?

    • ANSWER:
      I wish I could help,but I don't know how,because I am the same way.

  4. QUESTION:
    why do i feel so anxious around people?
    It's getting worse recently and I don't know why, close to panic attacks whenever I am around people, and I really don't know why. Scary, and I would really like somenon drug ideas to deal with it.

    • ANSWER:
      Anxiety is related to self confidence. Feeling like your being watched, judged, or ridiculed may be going through your subconscious. Try being more assertive and dont put so much pressure on yourself what YOU think other people are thinking. You are a great person and you dont need to feel this way!

  5. QUESTION:
    Why do I get anxious around people when I don't need too?

    • ANSWER:
      A lot of people definitely get social anxiety. It seems to me that is due to the fear of negative judgement thats in every humans natural being. But you shouldn't fret and you just need to take deep breaths and relax. :]

      P.S. Show confidence :] It attracts people to you. Don't be afraid to strike up a random conversation with someone, especially if there's something you know you have in common with them. It would probably make them feel flattered and if their mood becomes upbeat it will most likely influence your mood to do the same. Remember to show a nice warm smile too :] because I've found that it reduces negative awkward tension in the air. The most important thing is that you need to above all, believe in yourself. Because if you don't, then how could someone else? you know. Keep working at it! It takes time.

  6. QUESTION:
    Very anxious around people from possible ORS, help please?
    Over the past 6 months or so, I have been feeling extremely anxious around others out of fear of having bad body odor. I discovered there was a name to this disorder and it is known as Olfactory Reference Syndrome (ORS). Also, I'm almost positive I have OCD, I basically have all the symptoms.

    Anyway, the problem is I feel so anxious that I will smell or do smell from body odor (in some cases I do smell, but in others, I don't) that being around people has become quite a strain on me. If I don't already smell, I'm anxious that I will and if I do already smell, I'm anxious it will get worse. I apply deodorant so that's not a concern, it's really a mental thing because when I'm alone, I'm fine. I'm obsessed with this and it's taking over my social and professional life. This has been happening to me over the past year or so. Funny thing is I smell worse now when I worry about it than years ago when I wasn't worried about it at all.

    I was wondering how I could overcome this, besides going to a psychologist? Any help would be appreciated, thanks.

    • ANSWER:

  7. QUESTION:
    Anxious around people who are taller or bigger than me?
    I thought for many years that I was anxious in general, but I've suddenly discovered it happens only when I am in the presence of a taller or physically stronger person (male or female - doesn't matter). I am a 5.7 feet inches male, 23 y.o., not skinny nor overweight, more like narrow-shouldered. I have a decent face though (imagine Edward Norton in American History X). I feel quite comfortable around pretty short women and men of my size, however it just gets suffocating to go out and do all the things normal people do, because 90% of people living here in Northern Europe are taller or bigger than me. So basically, I look more like a 16 years old teenager if compared to a normal 20-something guy. Sure, given my above-average salary and my level of independence, I could forget feeling threatened and being looked down upon by men all the time and move to interacting with women instead, but the most depressing issue is that of women. When I look at all those healthy northern women in their prime, I just start thinking how embarrassing it would for them to show up with me in public, what their stupid friends and families would say after seeing us together. I also imagine a group of guys would show up and try to pick up that girl, because my nobody would ever believe the girl is my girlfriend (this happened few times, really). I get enormously anxious and could not even make an eye contact when a regular 5.10 feet girl approaches me, because I feel so inadequate. I know getting married is not a problem for those with a decent income and sure, I could marry an aged once-was-pretty woman of any height and become a provider-type family guy when i hit 33, but wouldn't that be humiliating to take someones left-overs? I just want to socialize like a normal and hit on any pretty girl just right now, but unfortunately I'm sort of mentally disabled, not made for this world.

    Is there a cure?

    This is not a dating question, because I can handle "short" girls very well. There is something terribly wrong in my head, a perpetual anxiety.

    Maybe moving out to Japan or South America would help?

    (i'm not an english speaker, sorry for being messy when writing)

    • ANSWER:
      Read about Robin Williams and how he managed. In a nutshell, he used his humour/personality to get on with those bigger than himself but I know it can be easier said than done.

  8. QUESTION:
    Anxious around people I don't know...?
    I get anxious around people I don't know really easily... Like, when I'm in a shop with or without people I don't know and I have to ask for something say, from a cashier I can't. I HAVE to get someone else to do it for me, and it's been like this for a while.

    If they ask me to ask for something my heart starts racing and I start getting hot and scared. My friends and family think it's a bit rediculous and I'm attention seeking but it's really a problem for me and I was wondering what I could do...

    I've tried asking for really small things but I keep getting scared again and I have to walk around... Is there anything I can do?

    • ANSWER:
      You may need to be treated for Social Anxiety disorder either through therapy or meds or both.

  9. QUESTION:
    I'm always either irritated or anxious around people- what could this be?
    I'm going to my doctor in a few weeks because I feel that I may have depression.
    But aside from that, I have been having another problem for far longer.

    Sometimes I don't even want to be bothered by people. Other times I get lonely and upset because I don't have any close friends- anyone I talk to at school feels more like an "acquaintance". I'm either annoyed and irritated by someone's company, or I'm anxious around people.

    For example, I will avoid people because I just don't feel like being bothered. For another example, I find myself unable to talk, or stuttering badly because I'm nervous around someone.

    I don't know if this would be social anxiety, because though I do have moments when I am uncomfortable around people, it's not continuous. If I'm in a crowded place, I may feel fine- anxiety is only occasional.

    Unlike the depression-like feelings, which have been going on since August, this irritation/anxiety/avoiding people has been going on for several years. It's just a part of life for me it seems.

    A part of me wants to be more social, but the other part doesn't even want to be bothered! It's weird and almost contradictory, I don't even understand myself.

    What can this be? It this some personality disorder?

    • ANSWER:
      It sounds like anxiety for sure. Anxiety isn't always continual. It comes and goes. Get your thyroid gland checked. Fluctuations can definitely cause anxiety. If it's all normal, bipolar disorder could be a possibility. I'd still bet on the thyroid though.

  10. QUESTION:
    How can I stop being so anxious around people?
    I get really anxious around people, or even when thinking about being around people other than my family. I have alot of friends and used to do stuff with them all the time.

    But all of the sudden I've just lost contact with them. I get really nervous conversing with anyone. Like I have nothing to say and I hate awkward silence. I avoid people I know just so I won't have to talk to them. I honestly feel more comfortable in a room of complete strangers because I know they won't talk to me.

    My psychologist says I have social phobia.. I don't know what to do to change it.. Has anyone experienced this or have any suggestions as to what I can do or say to make it better?

    • ANSWER:
      First thing change your display pic. It freaks me out .....

  11. QUESTION:
    Always anxious around people and don't know how to act....Help?
    Hi, as the title says, im always axious around people and feel uncomfortable around them. Even around my friends and family i feel this sometimes. I used to be a jack the lad, always getting the girls and having fun with everyone. Everyone thought i was a good laugh. Once i dropped out of University i stayed in the house for over a year doing pretty much nothing although im now back at Uni and looking foward to finishing next year. Now when i go out with friends or even when i am in town i feel as if everyone is watching me, judging me or laughing at me. This makes me feel and look awkward when around people. Its really getting frustrating now because i want to be the way i used to be. Does anyone know what i can do to get my old self back? Thanks

    • ANSWER:
      Maybe you're just feeling insecure because you're still getting used to/settling in to your new university life. Just give it some time and keep doing what you're doing. Put yourself out there and make a some new hobbies - so you can continue moving your life in the right direction, that's what really matters! Who cares what people think; you know who you are - stay true to yourself!

      Hope that helps and good luck! :)

  12. QUESTION:
    Sometimes I can be so painfully shy I get anxious to be around people or interact even to grocery shop?
    That I have a deer in headlights look what does that mean? How do I fix it and when I go around parents they are so negative! In a 1 hr soccer game for my kid that is 11 they say like 24 negative things it is so embarrassing how can I turn the negative off?

    • ANSWER:
      I know exactly how you feel. I'm 25 years and all my life I have had terrible social anxiety and panic attacks. It is very hard for me to go out and socialize or even go to the grocery store. I shake and stutter. Sometimes people are rude and laugh and sometimes they don't say anything, but the people who are rude I just ignore because I know they are self centered ignorant people, and have nothing better to do than make fun of people. To make themselves feel better. I just don't even care. I know they have problems themselves ,everybody has some sorta obstacle, situation, problem in their life.

  13. QUESTION:
    How to make my dog not get anxious around people.?
    I have a wired hair terrier mix and I know they can be territorial but he is getting out of hand. When my friend Brittany comes around he will run out the door to get at her. A lot of times if kids are around he is very shaky and will nip. Adults he is better but he will sometimes go at their ankles or shoes. He has never actually bite anyone and made it hurt he, how I know he went and got my niece in the face and she is two and she stopped and smacked in the face. I've tried locking him in another room but that seems to make him worse and I can't have every person who meets him take him for a walk. What are somethings I can do to calm get him to not be so anxious and I don't have to worry about him.
    Once he gets to know a person he is fine with them. It just takes a day or a few hours depending on the person.

    • ANSWER:

  14. QUESTION:
    Biologically, why do people get nervous around they people they find attractive from the opposite sex?
    l know not everyone feels the same. But l a lot of people get this feeling including me, l sit next to a cute guy and l can't help but feel so nervous and shaky. Sometimes l can't even concentrate on my work, feeling as if he is staring at me in disgust. Why do a lot of humans get anxious around people they find attractive?

    • ANSWER:
      Well when you are attracted to somebody, you feel a lot of pressure to act the way you think they would want you to. Not only would this nervousness cause shakyness (if that's a word) but it's incredibly distracting.

  15. QUESTION:
    Anxious around anxious people..?
    Everyone in my grade who's applying for a job shadowing program is having an interview tomorrow morning. Were going in groups of 20 and things like this don't normally stress me out but i get anxious around anxious people. Just the thought of a bunch of ditsy girls talking negatively about themselves, jumping around, freaking out with their friends while they wait to be interviewed.. i'm not looking as forward to it as i would if i was alone. What kind of things can i do to calm myself down or just prevent their anxiety from affecting me? Especially in a room full of loud teenagers?

    • ANSWER:
      the anxiety is empathy try to let it go straight through you - not yours - others. An ipod could really help in this situation also keeping in your own space - breathing deeply and counting breaths in tens and setting up a do not disturb force field around you - juts image it and image yourself in a totally protected space suit - Anything oyu can image ot isolate yourself will do.

  16. QUESTION:
    I get very ANXIOUS around people of the same sex (HOCD), I was raped. PLEASE HELP!!?
    I am a 19 year old female. I was raped by someone of the same sex when i was 9. Now when I see a girl I get anxious and i clutch my legs together, hold them together really hard. I think I have HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). This started about a month ago. I AM STRAIGHT. What can i do to overcome this & be back normal again?
    IM STRAIGHT, I WAS RAPED BY SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX AT 9 & AGAIN AT 17. I KNOW WHO I AM, I LOVE GUYS. I DONT NEED YOU TO TRY TO TELL ME I DONT KNOW WHAT I LIKE. I WAS MOLESTED OVER & OVER. PERIOD.

    • ANSWER:
      I'd look for a woman-woman rape group (i.e. online group) where members are in a similar situation. There will be a lot of stories that you can relate to, and members who offer there experience how they overcame it.

  17. QUESTION:
    why is it that i get extremly anxious around some people?
    i guess i have a pretty severe case of social anxiety and have for over 7 years now. probably all that dope i smoked while locked up in my room all those years as a youngster, im 28 now. and i dont do dope anymore and havent for over 2 years. so why is that i get really anxiious around some people but not with others?

    • ANSWER:
      I'm 25. I used to be the same way. Smokin bud didn't help me either...it definitely made me wanna be in my own little world. There were a couple nights when I didn't mind hanging out at bars, etc, meeting new people(although I mostly just wanted to stay in my little circle of friends). Then there were nights where going outside of my room was the last thing I wanted to do. It really sucked to be like that, but I accepted it for years and years, until I met my now ex-girlfriend. She was in the entertainment industry, and was very social, and I knew that if I wanted to keep this woman, I needed to figure out what was going on with me....not for her, but for me. I saw a real good therapist here in los angeles, and he guided me through the jungle of my life: anxiety, anti-social, etc. I was kinda scared to see a therapist, and didnt really want to. My ex-gf really got on my ass about it, so I went. The first day I went in to see him, I decided that I was going to just tell him that I was nervous as hell to come in and see a therapist, and that I didnt know if I could come in once a week and sit down and talk for an hour. He told me that most people who come in to see him in the beginning have the same feelings, and that he would be here to work through things with me, if I wanted. I saw him for 2 years. My life right now is extremely fresh and open. This therapist helped me understand where my anti-social, self doubt, anxiety ridden behavior came from. I realized that my feelings were just feelings. Yeah they had meaning, and yeah feelings can sometimes feel like they're going to crush you like a pile of concrete, but shit, they are just feelings. For you......there's something inside that is keeping you inside. The tough things in us are the things that hold the most meaning. There's a reason why you're keeping yourself inside, just as there was with me. Its up to you to figure that out. Once you do, its like hitting the jackpot. I'm a young dude, and I'm telling you, being in your 20's and sorting through the complex brilliant stuff about yourself is priceless. In the mean time, try a little technique I still use for myself. Talk to one stranger a day. With the social anxiety.....you gotta start at the bottom and work your way up, and the same goes for this technique. Sit down next to that old man who is sitting on the park bench, and shoot the shit about the weather or something. Life is not about faults, its about new experiences and close relationships.

      -go get em

  18. QUESTION:
    Why do i feel warm around people?
    I get anxious around people that bother me/ criticise me and i always get anxious around them. I always feel warm i just dont feel calm. Im also a very hyper person like i do crazy things. The littlest criticism can ruin my day. What is causing this

    • ANSWER:

  19. QUESTION:
    why do i get anxious around sick people?
    ive had this problem with anxiety for a while in my life, but ive thought it was strange how the biggest trigger is being around sick people. not just any kind of sick - only someone who is going to throw up. being around people with colds and stuff is fine, that doesnt bother me. but as soon as someone says like i feel like im gonna throw up i panic and i dont understand why. i feel like i have a fear of throwing up, i havent thrown up in years *knock on wood* and idk maybe im scared of seeing it. is anyone else like this? i feel so weird. like tomorrow in health were watching this video of live birth and that i can deal with but im freaking out bc i know one kid in there is probably gonna throw up bc he has a weak stomach.....so that freaks me out but not the live birth video? idk hellpp

    • ANSWER:
      it's a gut thing. you might get sick. you need to distant yourself, like ask the sick person is it contagious. that helps desensitize.

  20. QUESTION:
    How can I stop getting anxious whenever I'm around people drinking?
    I'm a college student, and whenever my friends or people in my dorm start drinking (which is fairly often), I get really anxious and I have to leave. I don't drink, and I don't plan on drinking, but I'd like to be able to be a part of normal social functions, since there's almost always alcohol at any social gathering. Any ideas?

    • ANSWER:
      This is odd because I feel the same even though I usually engage in drinking myself.
      Im not sure, when I drink I typically have a guard up, feel like something bad is going to happen, or I get consumed with negative thoughts?
      Maybe this sounds familiar for you too hence, why drinking alcohol doesnt sound appealing to you.
      Your abstaining from drinking is a choice, and not a bad one or one that you should be judged harshly on. Furthermore, you probably see alot of these people acting out of line or making stupid choices when they get intoxicated, probably not something you want to do yourself.
      I've tried not drinking once, it wasnt really fun, and you do feel a bit on the outside of the circle. Drinking in college is normal, but if you have no desire to do it then stick to your guns.
      At the same time, maybe you should try drinking a non-alcoholic beverage and enjoy watching everyone else makes asses out of themselves. In reality, and as silly as it sounds, but its a great time to be really open and honest with people. Chances are people wont remember much in the morning anyway, plus it gives you a chance to voice your opinion and not be judged since everyone else around you is pretty much acting like an idiot soo all in all you should have nothing to feel ashamed about.

  21. QUESTION:
    I'm a very anxious person. People can make me VERY anxious. How do I stop getting so upset around people?
    I get to where I need to be left alone. I get so anxious, so upset, that if someone is anywhere near me I freak out.
    I get so tense I can't breath. I try to respectfully ask for distance, but when your father has acid reflux and wants to sit in his recliner and snore while you write a story and listen to calming music, what kind of person are you to irrationally ask him to leave? And if your mother comes down right after that because her legs hurt and she can't sleep, then who are you to chase her off from the recliner?
    I don't know what to do. I just get so upset, I want to scream at everyone to leave me alone. I write when I'm upset and I don't have any notebooks in my room that aren't filled. I can't get anymore right now and I need the computer to listen to music because I don't have much in my room.
    What am I supposed to do about this anxiety, this hatred of being around people? I have to take medication if I can't control this, and I do NOT want to have to take medication.
    Well the first two answers are entirely unhelpful. I am NOT a Virgo, how ridiculous is that? How does that help me? AHG! And pot is all well and good, except it's illegal, and getting thrown in jail is going to calm me down a whole lot!!!!!
    To Adam:

    Lots is going on. I have a hard time making friends because, while I love people, I also love to be alone. I'm afraid of everything at the same time I'm brazen and loud, and nothing makes sense. I've had a migraine trying to come on for a week now and everything is so LOUD. Everything pisses me off or makes me fidgety, and I miss my friend that I knew since I was six, and I'm starting to wish we hadn't moved, even though moving was the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Anyhoo....

    I wish I had someplace to scream. Someplace private where I could just....AHHHHHHHHHHH.

    • ANSWER:
      there are real cheap mp3 players you should get one for your room...but i mean that doesn't seem to be the whole problem? Most people like alone time, but if they can't have it, they don't react with as much anger you have..what else is going on?

      I kind of know how you feel Girl In Green. For example, on xmas eve, I left a family gathering and even though I love them, I struggle with inner demons and when I got out of there I drove my car and just pressed down as hard as I could on the horn for a minute as I was alone on the road anyway, because I had just wanted to scream.

      I can only offer a small comfort just that time helps. I'd also suggest jogging...it's great to get outside with an mp3 player on and run...endorphines get released and you feel better.

  22. QUESTION:
    Anxious when talking to or around people?
    every time i talk to someone i get anxious even while talking to my own family. i always feel like im going to mess up and people know i am scared. how can i combat this feeling.

    • ANSWER:
      learn to relax and then carry that feeling with you all the time.
      you could also ask if you could get your horjmones balanced, since they can cause anxiety
      confidence always makes one feel better, and comes with experience, so get out and make yuourself practice
      or take a group locally at a mental health center that focuses on socializing , they usually have sliding scale fees based on income
      or you could EFT your anxieties, it works , a free version is emofree.com,click on 'learn eft'

  23. QUESTION:
    Why am I anxious around crowds of people?
    Every time I go out to shop to the mall or grocery shopping I get extremely anxious. I hate being somewhere there are crowds of people. I have to shop online because of it and I hardly ever go anywhere. I've tried medication, but I still feel like a deer in headlights and can't think clearly.

    • ANSWER:

  24. QUESTION:
    What are ways to reduce my anxiety when speaking to people?
    I get very anxious around people, my mind goes blank and I tremble. It makes me very depressed..

    • ANSWER:

  25. QUESTION:
    How can I stop being so anxious?
    I feel I am always anxious around people. It doesn't matter who: family, friends, strangers. Whenever I'm with people I start thinking what they might be thinking of me, and I feel scared to share my opinion or speak up. I try and try, but every time I seem to get nervous and feel like everyone is looking at me.

    And on top of all this, I get mad at myself for feeling so anxious and I am so embarrassed by it!

    How can I get rid of all these negative thoughts/feelings?

    • ANSWER:
      This was your personality's way of coping and protecting you. You should see a therapist who will break you down and help you realize why this is your defense mechanism and why you feel you must be on alert even around your loved ones.

      Don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out. We all have a subconscious mind and it makes its own decisions.

  26. QUESTION:
    What are some ways to feel relaxed around people?
    I get really shy and sometimes I wont talk at all because Im scared of what people might think of me. I even get anxious around my friends and my family.

    • ANSWER:
      Just understand most people really aren't there to judge you. They may even feel the same way when their around you! Don't worry about it because truthfully a lot of people don't really care. Just be yourself (:

  27. QUESTION:
    Axiety around People...HeLp?
    I get nervous to talk to people. Even people in my family...I get anxious around people and dont know what to say. I keep thinkin what they are gonna think of me. This started about a year ago when I tragically lost my Fiance. I think I just shut myself away from everyone and everything. I use to be a person who wasnt scared of anything and had no problem meeting and talking to new people. Now im so scared of talking to people and I just freeze up. I dont know how to keep a conversation going and I keep thinking that people in my family dont like me..and then I start trying tooo hard to get their attention and I think i embarass myself. I need some advice to help me .......

    • ANSWER:
      i am sorry that u lost Ur fiance. but u need to move on they are not in Ur life anymore. u need to stop thinking about how people think about u ... the reason y u are wondering what people are thinking about u is because u lost someone u really cared about and they probably didn't tell u if u were doing something that bother them. and now u are worried about everything. just think of what u did and learn from it and try to do better. first try to open u with your family and talk more, then slowly try to talk to other people but if u feel uncomfortable then just breath in slowly through Ur mouth and count to 3 and exhale through your nose and tell yourself that u can do this and u will get through this hump.. good luck :)

  28. QUESTION:
    How to stop feeling anxious and self conscious?
    Im 17 and im getting pissed off because every day i focus on my anxiety. Im wasting my life and there is no reason for me to be anxious. Im also anxious around people and how do i just not care anymore. There is no reason for me to feel this way and if i knew the reason i would fix it right away. What do i do??

    • ANSWER:
      Social Anxiety.

  29. QUESTION:
    Have you ever been anxious around large groups of people and overcome it?
    I never really been in large groups of people while growing up so I get anxious when I get around a crowd now. I'm going to try to constantly put myself in these situations and rationalize.

    • ANSWER:
      People are always scared of groups especially if they arn't accustomed to the situation, I would see a counselor to get over your anxiety, to help you move on in life.

  30. QUESTION:
    How can I stop being to anxious and intimidated around people?
    Whenever I talk to someone, even family or people I know really good, I stutter and little, but it's mostly shaking that gets me. For instance, I had a sign a paper for this entrance to buy a shirt, and my hand was shaking the whole time, it was humiliating. I get soo intimidated, sometimes my heart pounds, even if they're younger and physically smaller. I feel like people are judging me and I feel pressure to not mess up. I'm 17, and I KNOW I can't be like this in the real world or else i'll be controlled and crumbled.
    Do I just need to work on my socializing skills and it will go away over time? How long?
    jenna31, it helps, keep on going if you can.

    • ANSWER:
      gelstar91, if I could tell you one thing and it could make your life better right @ this moment, I would tell you not to worry so much about how you appear to others, even when you are shaking. Acknowledge that you are nervous and just keep on talking or signing your name or whatever you are doing. You are going to be fine. There is no time frame to go on, and you don't need to pressure yourself to change before you get into the world. Because you are in the world and i guarantee that you look better to other people than you think you do. Does this help or am I being too vague? Today I was talking to a relative, and I actually stuttered when I was trying to talk to him. I acknowledged that I started stuttering and told myself that this person cares about me and does not think less of me for stuttering. So the more you give yourself positive assurance when these things happen the better your social skills will become. It takes practice. I have been diagnosed with social phobia. I don't want to tell you you have it but it can be severe. Medication could help, but what is really going to be of lasting help is to just practice talking to people that you know and like who won't make fun of you to build your social skills.

  31. QUESTION:
    Does anyone get nervous, and anxious when they get around other people?
    How do you control your anxiousness?

    Don't you want to ask questions to other people about life?

    Have you ever thought about what I am doing here in a public place?

    Have you ever thought about what are all these people doing here?

    Have you ever thought about what are their meaning of life on this Earth?

    Have you ever wonder where did all these people came from?

    • ANSWER:
      I LOVE the honesty in these answers (c:

      Andre, YOU are a DEAR SOUL ~ Your questions and kindness and sincerity bring out the best in others here (c:

      I control anxiousness with remembering ALL I have already made it through with Gods help. I say prayers of THANKS for all that I have. We each have many blessings . I also pray for a bit more strength if I have to be out.... when I feel like being home !N O W ! ...

  32. QUESTION:
    how do i not feel so socially awkward around people?
    lately ive been feeling really anxious and socially awkward around new people that i meet. i feel like i get nervous and say weird or forced things.

    how can i overcome this?

    • ANSWER:
      Well, this is a pretty natural thing. I think mostly you have to come to terms with yourself.

      You need to realize that you are important, and your opinion is important enough to share with other people. If you can feel good about yourself, it's easier to feel good, or comfortable around others.

  33. QUESTION:
    Getting jobs which don't have many people around?
    Hi. I am a student and also quite shy, for that reason I want to get a job where I can make some money but I don't have to mix with many people.

    What sort of things would you suggest? I want to work but I get anxious around lots of people so supermarket jobs etc are out of the question.

    thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      Get an online job.

  34. QUESTION:
    is it possible to get a Xanax prescription when already in Adderall?
    in the past 2 years ive self medicated with xanax (i know its not good to self medicate) i was taking .25(lowest dose) and sometimes .50 to curb my anxiety which can be pretty brutal. Ive been on adderall 10mg XR for about 2 months now and i gota say it has helped my job/school performance dramatically (i take it for ADHD)

    When i was taking the xanax (on and off for 2 years) i never felt high or extreamly fatigued, only normal and when i take it with the adderall it makes me feel normal, by normal i mean focused, relaxed, content with myself, and compleate lack of the sometimes sever anxiety i sometimes get.

    Ive tried many anti-anxiety drugs such as wellbutrin, strattera, zoloft, lexapro, and paxil, all these medications did was make me feel empty, like a walking zombie (i wonder if i was on these and the adderall if the adderall would counteract the lethargy, lack of motivation, sex drive, etc...

    Would it be worth asking my doctor on Wednesday if adding xanax (or possibly even valium) to my adderall dose?

    I do know that xanax isnt made for long term use but i would only use it when needed, and i feel like there are many times i need it do to the adderall making me anxious and uncomfortable.

    The adderall helps me so much in so many different ways, but it defentally ups my already existing anxiety, even to a social level where after the adderall wears off i get very pissy and anxious around people.

    I apologies for the extremely long details, but the more the better i figure. Thank you.

    • ANSWER:

  35. QUESTION:
    I keep on thinking people I meet for the 1st time will dislike me. How can I deal with this?
    I get extremely tense and anxious around people I meet for the 1st time. Afterwards though, when I get to know them better, I feel more comfortable. People say it takes time to get to know me as a person.

    • ANSWER:

  36. QUESTION:
    Why am i always anxious?
    Im always feeling anxious around people and by myself. It gets worse when im around people i just get anxious and cant be calm. There is no specific reason i feel this way. If i knew the reason, i would have cured it already but its been like a year. I also get anxious by myself like these anxious feelings but there is Absolutely nothing i am thinking consciously.. But i can feel the anxiety there. Why do i feel this way, especially around people
    I also get intrusive thoughts sometimes

    • ANSWER:

  37. QUESTION:
    I get really scared and anxious eating around other people?
    I feel like they are judging me and thinking I'm eating too much, too fast, etc. I hate the thought of my boyfriend hearing the fridge open from the other room. Logically, I know no one probably gives a crap, but I cant help but feel so overwhelmingly self conscious and shameful. I wear a size 2 and I'm 5'10", so again, logically I know I'm not fat, but I'll look in the mirror and see someone bigger than I want to be. I'm so stressed, I obsess all the time about this. I'm waiting to get an appt with a therapist, but in the meantime I need advice or comfort.

    Thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      There is a strong possibility that you have anorexia. It is good that you are aware that a problem exist and that you need to see someone to help you. I use to feel really awkward about eating in front of people because I felt I ate to loudly/sloppily. In reality most people do not care how much you eat, as long as you're paying for it and that you are not making a huge

  38. QUESTION:
    How do I initialize attraction to a girl ?
    I am jinxed in regards to talking to girls and dating. I have an unknown disorder of the mind that doesn't allow me to connect with the girls who I like, and girls in general. It's caused me to be depressed and anxious around people, my heart and mind is destroyed as I cannot get along with girls at all. And no I am not ugly I just cant talk to them. HELP What is the first thing I should do when I see or meet a girl I like so I don't mess up in future.

    • ANSWER:
      A girl asked a similar question. Here is the answer I gave her, just look at the answer from the guy's point of view.

  39. QUESTION:
    Is it possible for a introvert person to become outgoing?
    I feel like I've been shy my whole life, and I keep thinking that it's impossible to change because that's just my personality. I hate my personality because I get so anxious around people I don't know. Why is it so hard for me to just relax and be friendly?

    • ANSWER:
      Join classes in a personality developement centre. You will be ok soon. *

  40. QUESTION:
    How do I learn to face my fears?
    I have social anxiety problems, I'm unsure if it's SAD or not though.

    I want to socialize, I want friends, but I get nervous and anxious around people. I'm turning anti-social now, though I know I want to have friends..

    Help?

    • ANSWER:
      You have to help yourself to face your fears, do your best to go a little more step by step to go out with your friends and everything.

      ask your friends to go out somewhere with you and just push yourself to go out and enjoy yourself

  41. QUESTION:
    Do I have a type of psychological disorder?
    I always feel like my friends don't like me and just hang around me to make fun of me. Also, I feel like they only invite me over to make me feel like they like me. I looked up everything about social anxiety, and I can't have it, because I'm not awkward or get anxious around people, it's just around my friends that I feel this way.

    • ANSWER:
      If you're not facing anxiety, you may have a personality disorder, paranoia. It depends on the affection of your daily life from these symptoms.

  42. QUESTION:
    Why do people always say that I have "low self-esteem"?
    I prefer being alone. I don't like being around people at school at all because they talk about the most pointless things and all they want to do is start stuff with each-other because they're bored, it's just pointless and rude.
    I've had people tell me that I need to get more self-esteem. Do you know how much self-esteem it takes to sit alone at lunch every single day while people stare at you like you are just the strangest thing ever and be content with that because that's the best you can do at the moment? It takes just a little bit of self-esteem to hear someone you've never even met talking trash about you when you're right there and let it go, because it's not worth it. That person just wants a reaction and they're not going to get that satisfaction from me at all.
    Sure I get anxious around people, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. But I think that has a lot to do with me not being allowed to leave the house unless I'm going to school. You can't really learn social cues or how you're supposed to socialize sitting in your room all day.
    I don't really know why I'm asking this it's just school is starting again and it's annoying because I've had a lot of my teachers be really rude to me and tell me how I need more self-esteem like I can just go to the store and buy some more since I'm running so low on it.
    Why does being alone a lot automatically equate to having very low self-esteem? Personally I think if you have to be surrounded by people constantly to feel secure, that would be a perfect example of low self-esteem, because they can't handle things when they're on their own. I mean I always find it funny when I watch people when I'm bored because if anyone ever has a confrontation with another person they're almost always never alone, they always come in a group. That's because they'd feel very insecure if they were doing that alone.

    • ANSWER:
      well the next time your at school someone tells you that you have low esteem ask the definition of it. tell them you know it more than me, so i don't know what your talking about.it s like saying your the one not me .you can even add thank you for caring but you need to worry about other things like yourself.well you can say that or just look at them with a smile and think of it and shack your head and walk off.low esteem comes from a person that will single out a person because he or she don t like the way how that person looks ,stature and so on. even bully s take the gold medal on this.the bully s gold medal will flake off on them later on life and they will be the low esteem person exposed.just keep going in life how you like doing.you can be the poor guy that felt low esteem and thought to be part of in crowed ends up in drugs or in jail.latter on life you ll come out of the protective shell and be more productive and challenge person.

  43. QUESTION:
    I'm telling you I just can't stand people. What am I supposed to do?
    So I'm a 17 year old guy. I'll be turning 18 in May. Throughout high school, I developed depression and social anxiety. I started getting counselling to deal with it and I'm doing a lot better. I don't feel nearly as anxious around people anymore. One problem I have is isolating myself. I used to do it because I was very anxious around others. Now I'm doing it because I can't stand them. Here's the thing. I find everyone to be really annoying. Jocks are annoying because they are loud and obnoxious, geeks are annoying because they always talk about how they hate popular people and how much more personality they have, but I've noticed the amount of depth they have is just about the same. What I'm saying is that everyone worries about fitting in. I don't. In fact, I don't want to fit in. I can't stand the mass amounts of idiots that populate my school. I'm much happier being on the outside looking in. I love to watch people make a fool of themselves. It's my entertainment.

    My counsellor has told me that I'm very intelligent, mature, insightful, and sensitive. She also said that this may be why it's hard for me to talk to people because in a way, I'm above them. Well I don't really like to think I'm superior to anybody, but I can definitely say I'm different. There's this one girl I met and she seems to really get me. We are a lot alike, although she is a lot more social than I am. We have very similar interests and personalities. I understand her as well. She sometimes acts really happy and crazy and talks comfortably with other people, but she told me that a lot of the people she talks to actually irritate her. She fakes it though to keep anything bad from happening. This kind of surprised me because she's very good at hiding this part of herself. I kind of hang out with her friends. I like them because they don't seem to worry about all the same stuff everyone does. They are pretty nice people. The majority of people I really can't deal with though.

    Now I know the real world isn't the same as high school. From what I've observed in the adult world though, it's similar. I'm just not the type of person who really fits in anywhere. I feel isolated from the rest of the world because my way of thinking is just different. I don't know. Maybe it's just my destiny to be alone. I think I'll just stick with this girl because she is a good friend instead of talking to everyone else. I know there's nice people out there. Finding them is the hard part though. Until I find them, I'm stick watching these little brats who won't quit their whining. What do you all think? Do you think I'm insane? That's what being a loner does to you. It messes with your mind a little and makes you think way too much.
    Yeah actually I have gotten to know them. And yeah, I still don't like them. Although I'll admit I've been wrong about some people, but most of the time I'm right. There's actually quite a few nice people at my school that I like talking to. They are just the ones who are not as easily recognizable. I'm just too different from most people.

    • ANSWER:
      Do you even get to know those people as individuals, or do you just mark them off as Jocks and Geeks? They're not all the same. Maybe your hatred for everyone stems from fearing them for so long?

  44. QUESTION:
    how to I get motivation to talk to people more often?
    Well, I'm a young person and I go to school. I do have a couple of close friends but I have drifted away from them a little bit. All the rest of the people I know are just acquaintances, and I'm not really close to them even though they're nice to me. At recess and lunchtimes I sit with a big group of girls but they are very noisy and I sort of block the noise out of my head and I think my own thoughts instead. I rarely have people over to my house, because I feel as if my house should only be for myself and my family. I spend most of my time outside of school alone. I'm becoming more and more reserved each day because I just can't be bothered to talk to people my age.

    I don't feel anxious around people. I've just lost motivation to make conversation. I know it's not very good to do that, but that's the way I've been acting. I know that to make friends I have to pipe up and be loud. But I've never been loud. I'm always the quiet one. I'm usually just the person who chimes in other people's conversation and don't really contribute to it, I just listen to what they say.

    I feel lonely and empty inside, and I wish I could have more friends who were closer to me. I know that contradicts with the fact that I can't be bothered to talk to people, but I wish people would initiate conversation with me instead. I guess I'm just being selfish.

    Have any of you here been in a similar situation or know people like this? My mum is worried about me and she constantly wants me to invite someone over to my house. I wish I could be one of the loud girls who have friends swarming around them.
    sheesh. Looking at the other questions in this section, my problem is nowhere near as bad as other people's problems are. still, any answers would be appreciated. I'm thirteen by the way, if that helps.

    • ANSWER:
      Dear One, Before I talk about social anxiety, we have to remember that you are 13. This phase is very common at your age. Also, you are an introvert. Society shows us on tv and in ads, etc., that extroverts have more fun. Not true. Extroverts may appear like they have all of these friends, but good, close friends? You can count those on one hand, if you are lucky. And I mean that. If you can count your friends on one hand, you are indeed a lucky man. Also being introverted in totally normal. Many great people are introverted. We get our energy recharged from being alone. Then we are ready to start the day and mingle. Extroverts get their energy recharged by interacting with others. Once you accept that you are an introvert, which is normal and there are millions like us, you have won have the battle. Self-acceptance is the key.

      There is an excellent book called, People Skills, by Robert Bolton, Ph.D. It teaches us how to be assertive, how to communicate better, and many social skills. You can download it on the internet. Don't worry, you will be fine. I promise. We introverts have much to offer the world. Take care and good luck.

  45. QUESTION:
    People treat me like I'm not human?
    I am a really quiet person and get anxious around people and stuff. A lot of people just treat me like I'm not normal. There are tons of situations I could say, but I'll tell you 2 to give you an idea.

    Well, at parent teacher interviews, mum ALWAYS brings up the shyness, and goes on about it constantly saying things like "She's always been shy, we have tried so many things" and "She had some.. too pushy teachers in the past, I think that has made her worse" when i am right next to her. She says it in a way like she is talking about a 5 year old, or a disabled kid :/ She doesn't even know anything about me.

    Another thing is my fabrics teacher. She always talks to me like I don't understand anything just because I stuffed up a few times. When my hem on my shorts slipped like, half a centermeter she turned to my friend and whispered "Did you notice she was doing this?" as if she was talking to someone looking after a little kid, you know, like when the older kids look after the little kids when they first start school?

    It REALLY annoys me when people treat me like this. I'm 15, not 5. What can I do about it!?

    • ANSWER:
      Tell your teacher in a strong voice, not in a angry voice. Of cause I understand you. I might be shy but I am not retarded. Your Mom just wanted your teacher to understand you so they wouldn't be mean to you. There is no crime in being shy. Don't let people intimidate you. Learn how to talk with authority. Learn when to talk and learn when to keep silent. If a student in your class does this to you tell them that you are shy, but you are smart.. Good Luck to you.

  46. QUESTION:
    Why can't I get involved with people?
    I'm 17 and I grew up in a negative household with a dad who drank and abused my mom sometimes. I don't have any friends. I'm a loner. I don't mind it so much because I like to be alone sometimes but it gets lonely being by myself all the time. I'm really shy. I was in the school play and I knew this girl. She was nice to me. One day I was sitting in the hall and she came up with her friends and she sat down next to me and put her head on my shoulder. I just sat there and didn't move because I didn't want to be rude. After she said "thank you for cuddling with me" and left. I don't think she's in love with me because that's just the kind of person she is. Now I've been trying to avoid her because I don't want to be friends. I do want to, but at the same time I'm scared to get involved. I've been hurt alot by "friends" and I'm really anxious around people. I'm anxious around my dad too. I can't even be in the same room as him. I don't want to get involved with her because I don't want to
    intrude in her circle of friends. I felt bad by being there in the hallway in the first place. She likes to hang out there with her friends. I fell like her friends hate me for being there, even though they've never shown any signs of it. I have this extremely paranoid feeling that everyone secretly hates me. I saw her while I was riding my bike home and she was waiting for the bus with one of her friends. I pretty much just hid myself out of sight to she wouldn't see me. Also when people try to talk to me, I just ignore them and pretend they don't exist. I'm just so shy and scared to get involved with them. I can't make friends. A social worker at my school heard my story and actually went to the girl to ask is she was on facebook. She didn't say it was me. I didn't even want to know. My counsellor encouraged me to get her e-mail. But I just can't do it. I'm too scared. I won't have anything to do with facebook either. What do I do? Why am I like this?

    • ANSWER:
      It is not your fault that you are different, it has something to do with your family situation. In your family the focus is on the sick person. You as a healthy kid don't get as much attention and motivation and padding on your shoulder as much as you deserve.
      You might have grown up telling yourself that you are not significant besides that you feel vulnerable if anyone finds out that your family is not normal.

      At the moment your focus is on that girl. Getting social or make friends, a field where you have not much experience and are afraid to screw it. It might not be just the girl, also the curiosity about someone reaching out to you.
      However in later situations you may also want to be social with other friends, family co workers and so on.

      It might help you to join a group of people who are like you, affected by an alcoholic family member to find out what to do to make friends and to know how to react with your family situation. When I was your age and situation, I wish I had some help like this. I am still very shy. I would recommend you going there.

      http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

      Good Luck.

  47. QUESTION:
    Why can't I get involved with people?
    I'm 17 and I grew up in a negative household with a dad who drank and abused my mom sometimes. I don't have any friends. I'm a loner. I don't mind it so much because I like to be alone sometimes but it gets lonely being by myself all the time. I'm really shy. I was in the school play and I knew this girl. She was nice to me. One day I was sitting in the hall and she came up with her friends and she sat down next to me and put her head on my shoulder. I just sat there and didn't move because I didn't want to be rude. After she said "thank you for cuddling with me" and left. I don't think she's in love with me because that's just the kind of person she is. Now I've been trying to avoid her because I don't want to be friends. I do want to, but at the same time I'm scared to get involved. I've been hurt alot by "friends" and I'm really anxious around people. I'm anxious around my dad too. I can't even be in the same room as him. I don't want to get involved with her because I don't want to
    intrude in her circle of friends. I felt bad by being there in the hallway in the first place. She likes to hang out there with her friends. I fell like her friends hate me for being there, even though they've never shown any signs of it. I have this extremely paranoid feeling that everyone secretly hates me. I saw her while I was riding my bike home and she was waiting for the bus with one of her friends. I pretty much just hid myself out of sight to she wouldn't see me. Also when people try to talk to me, I just ignore them and pretend they don't exist. I'm just so shy and scared to get involved with them. I can't make friends. A social worker at my school heard my story and actually went to the girl to ask is she was on facebook. She didn't say it was me. I didn't even want to know. My counsellor encouraged me to get her e-mail. But I just can't do it. I'm too scared. I won't have anything to do with facebook either. What do I do? Why am I like this?

    • ANSWER:
      maybe ur antisocial

  48. QUESTION:
    Do people not want relationships with someone who is depressed?
    Like is someone was depressed most of the time and anxious around other people would they have a harder time with people wanting to be in romantic relationships and getting friends? or does it depend on who they are? I have been very depressed for years and friends haven't really stayed so I don't have them anymore. I also have a really hard time making friends. my boyfriend left too.

    • ANSWER:
      Someone who has experienced it in some way would maybe be more accepting and understanding of it.

  49. QUESTION:
    When other people are laughing, are you worried that they are laughing at you even though you don't know them?
    Alot of times when I hear a group of people laughing, I always have this feeling of anxiety that they mght be laughing a me. Logically, I do not know them so I should not have this fear; but even though i know this i still get anxious around other people laughing.
    Have you ever experienced this feeling?

    • ANSWER:
      Yes, even though they are probably not laughing at you. BUT the good news is, as you get older you will find that it will not matter to you even if they WERE laughing at you. I's called self confidence and it comes from life experience

  50. QUESTION:
    How can I stop avoiding people so much?
    I am 18 I don't go to school or have any friends besides my boyfriend. I am really anxious around people. I even avoid being around my family sometimes and stay in my room a lot. I should be getting a job, my drivers license, and my GED but my fear of having to deal with people gets in the way. I feel like other people think I am lazy because of this. It is making my self esteem really low and I am often depressed because of it. The only person I am 100% comfortable with is my boyfriend. What should I do?

    • ANSWER:
      lol I have pretty much the same issue, if your boyfriend is social just ask him to push you into mre social matters? if that makes sense to you. Practice makes perfect, Oh and dont be afraid to agrivate a few people your human and its impossible to please everyone


Hypnosis To Cure Social Anxiety

Written By: admin - Jun• 12•12

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    Can shyness or social anxiety be cured through hypnosis techniques?
    ive read that somewhere. there must be a catch though. lol. otherwise so much people wouldnt have to live with their shyness. just wondering though.

    • ANSWER:
      Yes hypnosis could be used for this. Other method are effective too. Probably a lot of people are too shy to seek out help for their problem.

      Vote for me!!

  2. QUESTION:
    How do you cure or lessen Social Anxiety Disorder symptoms?
    I'm pretty sure I have Social Anxiety Disorder. I don't have the money to get a proper diagnosis, but it can't possibly be anything else. It makes life...existence...a nightmare. How can I get rid of the fear of being around people? Is there a drug that can do this, without making me dopey? Or, is there some self-hypnosis that can help?

    • ANSWER:
      well, it is hard to make a self diagnosis. There are counseling centers will provide services on a sliding scale. You may benefit from counseling more than you think. There are also medicines. A lot of antidepressants, such as Paxil, are also used for Social Anxiety Disorder. I was diagnosis with SAD and have been on Effexor, Wellbutrin and Lamictal for years. This combination works well for me. I don't feel drowsy or anything. Some times I have constipation.

  3. QUESTION:
    Does hypnosis work in curing anxiety?
    Well I have decided to try hypnotherapy because I have social anxiety and was just curious if anyone knows if it works to alleviate it.

    • ANSWER:
      Yes it works. For more information check @ http://hypnosis-knowthyself.blogspot.com/2008/03/hypnosis-power-of-mind.html

  4. QUESTION:
    Good medication for social anxiety that really works with out leaving you tired during the day?
    Whats a good medication to take to completely cure you of social anxiety? That will not make you drowsy during the day. And that acutally works. The one I currently take makes me tired and I still feel nervous in social settings. It also makes me sweat really bad. Which can be embarrassing. I currently take Alprazolam 1.25mg, and I've also tried Paxil doesn't work for me. One of my customers tried hypnosis and she said it worked really well for her. What do you think?

    • ANSWER:
      So you take xanax. Unfortunately, the only thing that ever worked for me was xanax. It's very addictive, though and I got hooked fast. And yes, it does make you sleepy. That's a rather large dose you take though. Have you considered cutting it down? Then you may be able to take the edge off without getting drowsy. I have heard from others that celexa and lexapro are pretty good for generalized anxiety and possibly cymbalta. I hope you can get some answers from someone here, though. I would seriously consider asking your doc about the other antidepressants I mentioned.

  5. QUESTION:
    Can hypnosis make a person with Asperger's Syndrome outgoing/Sociable?
    I had a problem for over a year of a bad memory with someone, and it was driving me insane. I came across hypnosis and used a self-hypnosis cd to forget it, and within the next four days I was fine from it like nothing. Wit that just being an example of hypnosis, I debate to myself whether or not I have asperger's or not, but I'm not going to get into personal detail about it. But I know that Aspies are socially impaired, shy etc. Can hypnosis for Social Finesse or Social Anxiety or Be more Sociable CDs or some kind of hypnosis actually "cure" that part of Asperger's?

    • ANSWER:
      No. Not permanently, at least. Hypnosis can't change someone's stable personality traits or eradicate symptoms - it's not magic. It wouldn't hurt you (except maybe your wallet) to try hypnosis, but you shouldn't expect it to make a huge difference in who you are. Changing yourself or your life is not that easy. I recommend seeing a psychologist or counselor instead, and looking into getting the right diagnosis.

  6. QUESTION:
    Social Anxiety/Social Phobia?
    So I feel that I’m suffering from social anxiety/social phobia. I’ve definitely suffered from it for years but it’s really taking an impact on my life lately because I’m a young adult trying to figure out my future. I’ve always been naturally shy but this has stalled my life immensely.

    For instance I find it hard to get or keep a job since I’m not comfortable in social environments. I blush immensely for the stupidest things. Even talking to close family members or even simply talking through a simple text message is hard for me to do. I do have other symptoms such as: avoiding social situations, I think I’m being judged (though I’m not paranoid), I do, at times, sweat in social situations, and there’s a few others.

    So my question is, what are my options? Medication? I’ve tried hypnosis because it was recommended but it didn’t do anything at all. Who should I talk to about this, other than my parents? How do I know this is really what I have? I’m hoping to cure it so I can go to college and get a job.

    I don’t have anything like agoraphobia since I can leave my house. And I’m not to the extreme that I can’t talk to people, it’s just bad enough that it’s affecting my everyday life.

    • ANSWER:
      i was in this situation several years ago, but then i was in a situation where i need to continue my study where it was impossible to avoid social contact. i hate it though, but as it was impossible for me to run away, I tried to cope with that. i found out that it is very important to have something we really proud of. The key is to be proud of yourself. i am proud of being the youngest (and doing so well of course) in class (where it was hardly impossible for a girl of my age to be in that class). I'd suggest you to find your potential, be very good at it, be confident with what and who you are and let us see how this plan goes

  7. QUESTION:
    social anxiety problems ?
    hi, i would really appreciate advice
    went through primary school with loads of good friends, since starting high school, for no easily identifiable reason i have lost confidence speaking to others my age- has become such a problem i now have no friends left and can't manage beyond basic communication outside my family- i know how to act in situations such as conversations but either my mind blanks or i become very self conscious when in them leaving me unable to formulate responses to anything
    thought a good starting place to address this issue would be a look medicine and hypnosis products. Is there a guaranteed cure?
    I have no friends now and hate it and hate myself
    please help- i desperately need to change

    • ANSWER:
      I know how it feels to have social anxiety. It's horrible as it makes you clam up and makes you feel unable to hold down friendships.

      Here are some websites you might want to look at:
      http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk/
      http://www.helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.htm
      http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/socialanxiety1.shtml

      I don't know if hypnosis works, but by going to your GP he/she will be able to offer you advice on what makes social anxiety more bearable and may refer you to a psychotherapist who will teach you techniques on how to beat social anxiety.

  8. QUESTION:
    :REALLY NEED HELP: Hypnosis?
    I have the worst social phobia/anxiety/deppression and im gonna be leaving school soon and needing a job,its so bad i hardly ever leave the house,i cant even go to school i get home tutored and dont have any friends.I been seeing a psychiatrist for a long time now and it doesnt help at all.I've had this since i was 7yrs old,it makes my life hell,i even get suicidal every once in a while.I just cant take it anymore. :(

    I was wondering if hypnosis would cure it.Just to cure my phobia though,I REALLY DONT WANT IT TO CHANGE ME IN ANY OTHER WAY but that.(without changing my personality at all)
    Would it work???
    Every time i ask for help on this i get "just get outta the house" or "make new friends" .Those answers f&%*ing suck,i would'nt have been to 15 different psychiatrists throughout my life if those answers helped me!! Of course your trying to help and thanks for that but plz give me some real answers other than ones that are easy to tell me.Answers like that make me feel pathetic,in a way,your making me feel worse.(do not judge me for the details i added).

    • ANSWER:
      @Punk Rock Girl

      I really feel for you.I have had it to for years and it's killing me slowly.Don't go out or work or anything.
      Maybe we can help each other out.Anyway i can contact you.I'm in the uk

  9. QUESTION:
    i m a sufferer of dep,anxiety,nd stress from past 5 years. I came to know about my illness from last 3 yrs?
    i m a sufferer of dep,anxiety,nd stress from past 5 years. I came to know about my illness from last 3 yrs then i realised that i should go to the doctor. 3 yers hav gone but i m stil in a condition in which i hv very-2 energy level .MY social life has fully ended .in these 5 years of problem i hve suffer -2-2-2much i hve no words to discribe u. but i m stil positive but when will medicine cure me i don hve any idea .i m now 20 yr old it is too difficult to me to stay whole day at home.when i was in 10 class i was vrey confident guy .but in 11th standrd my all friends leave the school and i suddenily went in bad mood ,0 confidence level ,anxiety and other phy problem, I m still waiting every sec when i will b fine medicine r not going good .i want 2 knoe is there any cure of my disease ,can hypnosis cure me

    • ANSWER:
      Here's what you do. You tell your doctor that the medice is NOT working, and he will give you a different kind.
      I have high anxiety and depression and I take 15 mg of Lexapro and I feel SOOO much happier, care free, and social.
      BUT, it might not work for you, all you have to do is find the medicine that will work for you and if it doesn't work in a month then it's time to try a new medicine.
      TRUST ME!
      once you get the right medicine for you, you'll feel SO MUCH BETTER!

  10. QUESTION:
    Paxil & Self-Improvement?
    I've been using subliminals/hypnosis for the past 6 months to improve myself at times these subliminals did make me nervous because of the resistance. When I got 3 months into a program, I had horrible social anxiety due to the resistance so I stopped and used another subliminal to build my confidence. About 3 weeks ago, I decided to quit smoking because I believe it increased my social anxiety and anxiety in general, so I quit cold turkey. I also quit using my subliminals/hypnosis during this time. Since then, I have had ZERO social anxiety and wasn't self-conscious any longer. The hardest part during this withdrawal were the panic attacks that I would have constantly, all day long, as well as horrible insomnia due to these attacks, horrible depression, and many other symptoms. The ER doc put me on Lorazepam for 2 weeks to take as needed so I took 1mg before bed because I couldn't sleep without it. Now when I stop Lorazepam everything is WORSE. My doctor is now putting me on Paxil for one month. I don't feel so happy because I think the Paxil may cover up something that I really want to work on, anxiety/panic I want to cure those for good and not cover it up if something is really bothering me. However, if it is simply a chemical imbalance then Paxil will fix it, yes? I don't feel like I can move forward without curing these deep issues/fears/resistance. However, maybe the Paxil will just make it easier for me to use them now. I'm wondering, would it be ok to continue to do my subliminals/hypnosis/self-improvement to build my confidence, work on my anxiety perhaps using the Linden Method, and self-esteem while I am on this drug for the month?

    • ANSWER:
      Paxil will alleviate a chemical imbalance in your brain which many experts believe is responsible for causing anxiety. It should have no effect on using self help programs. If anything, it will make the self help programs more effective because you will be able to concentrate more on what the program is meant to be doing.

  11. QUESTION:
    Paxil, Nicotine Withdrawals, Self-Improvement?
    I've been using subliminals/hypnosis for the past 6 months to improve myself at times these subliminals did make me nervous because of the resistance. When I got 3 months into a program, I had horrible social anxiety due to the resistance so I stopped and used another subliminal to build my confidence. About 3 weeks ago, I decided to quit smoking because I believe it increased my social anxiety and anxiety in general, so I quit cold turkey. I also quit using my subliminals/hypnosis during this time. Since then, I have had ZERO social anxiety and wasn't self-conscious any longer. The hardest part during this withdrawal were the panic attacks that I would have constantly, all day long, as well as horrible insomnia due to these attacks, horrible depression, and many other symptoms. The ER doc put me on Lorazepam for 2 weeks to take as needed so I took 1mg before bed because I couldn't sleep without it. Now when I stop Lorazepam everything is WORSE. My doctor is now putting me on Paxil for one month. I don't feel so happy because I think the Paxil may cover up something that I really want to work on, anxiety/panic I want to cure those for good and not cover it up if something is really bothering me. However, if it is simply a chemical imbalance then Paxil will fix it, yes? I don't feel like I can move forward without curing these deep issues/fears/resistance. However, maybe the Paxil will just make it easier for me to use them now. I'm wondering, would it be ok to continue to do my subliminals/hypnosis/self-improvement to build my confidence, work on my anxiety perhaps using the Linden Method, and self-esteem while I am on this drug for the month?

    • ANSWER:

  12. QUESTION:
    Feeling suicidal......?
    Basically here's what I have:

    Depression
    Social Anxiety
    Bipolar
    Depersonalization/Derealization
    Borderline personality disorder
    And I often get cognitive dysfunction

    I'm 14. Have tried medications. Anti anxiety medicine, Anti psychotic medicine, Antidepressants, ect.

    Been in therapy. Still am. Tried different psychologists. Tried different types of therapy. Tried meditation. Tried natural "cures". Tried hypnosis. Tried meditation.

    I have no friends. I don't go to school (Was picked on for a while) I don't honestly want any friends. I like being alone. I feel extremely depressed though now. I can't talk to anyone about it. My dad's in jail. My mom doesn't care. And My siblings dislike me.

    Advice?
    I'm also paranoid. I'm a hypochondriac. I fear going insane and I fear going back to the psych ward. The staff was REALLY mean and neglectful there.
    Dammit >.< Don't spam me. D:

    • ANSWER:
      just hang in there ok. i know things seem really bad right now and like there is no hope right now but please trust me things are going to get better just keep trying. suicide doesn't solve anything think of all the people that would miss you. you have your whole life ahead of you please your so young don't do this. please i beg you tell your psychologist. just please promises me you'll hang in there don't give up yet. i know you feel like you are all out of options but trust me there's another way, suicide is not the answer. remember tomorrow's a new day filled with endless possibles. things can turn around and suicide is a permanent once your gone you won't have a chance to change things and meet your potential and get the happiness you fully deserve.

  13. QUESTION:
    I have Erythrophobia. Does anyone know what that is? It's getting really hard to live with. Help?
    It's getting really hard dealing with Erythrophobia. If you don't know what that is, you can google it, too.
    Erythrophobia is a phobia linked with social anxiety. Basically you blush. A lot. Like, beyond red. Sometimes it's just a little, sometimes a lot. It can be just your face, just your ears, just your neck, or maybe all of those. People try curing Erythrophobia by seeing a therapist, taking special medications (however they aren't aproved by the FDA) having hypnosis, or even going through a risky and extremely painful procedure called endoscopic transthoracic sympathectomy. (google that if you have questions).
    I have Erythrophobia and it affects my day to day life. I won't talk to certain people. I won't get certain jobs, I avoid social situations and the hardest thing is- almost no one knows about this. Any suggestions or kind words?
    Here's something from an article about Erythrophobia that is very true for me:
    To people who have never experienced problem blushing, Erythrophobia, is likely to seem silly and be very difficult to understand. However, Erythrophobia is no laughing matter. For those who suffer from Erythrophobia, it is a very real and serious concern. The tendency to blush excessively, combined with an irrational fear of blushing that triggers additional blushing, can affect every component of daily life.

    It is not uncommon for people with Erythrophobia to develop additional social phobias as they seek ways to avoid blushing. They are very likely to experience feelings of hopelessness and withdraw from situations that require human interaction on any level. People who experience Erythrophobia commonly develop depression.

    By raising awareness of Erythrophobia and problem blushing, the general public will hopefully become more understanding of the serious nature of this problem. (cont:
    As problem blushing becomes more widely understood for the serious problem that it is, people who suffer from problem blushing may be able to become less self-conscious about their problem.

    • ANSWER:
      i have THE same problem. Like the littlest things make me blush and its sooo embarrasing. I didnt even know that there was a technical term for it. It is hard living with this because its like "oh god ami going to blush now?" and i do. Ive tried to relax and try not to blush but it just happens. I probably didnt answer your question, because i dont know how, but your not alone


How To Treat Social Anxiety Naturally

Written By: admin - Jun• 11•12

It's hard enough being a teenager without having to deal with an anxiety condition. When adolescent anxiety becomes a problem your teen's life can become a living nightmare. It physically hurts. And It hurts you and your spouse, and the children in your family.

You see, anxiety problems affect the entire family, it's not just your teenager's problem, it's a family problem. Teenagers that have anxiety problems tend to have depression, they are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and they tend to have low self-esteem.

As an aside, it's important to consider that anxiety and depression have genetic components so it's entirely possible that one of your other family member's is also at a very high risk of having anxiety attacks or developing them later in life.

Knowing that, don't you think it's time to educate yourself and learn all you can about the condition and how to treat it?

Yes, medications can work, for some people. But, the simple truth is that medications do have fairly serious side effects and they do not treat the underlying cause of the disorder. The underlying cause of adolescent anxiety is a nervous system and brain which are not balanced and functioning properly. What needs to happen is that your teenager needs to find that balance again, and actually being to heal their nerves and brain.

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    How to treat social anxiety naturally?
    I need some advice please. I get so nervous. Thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      The only way to conquer your fears is to face them. Just make yourself interact with people. Also try taking a class where you are forced to give an oral presentation in front of the class. That's as natural as you can get.

  2. QUESTION:
    How to treat yourself from social anxiety disoreder naturally ?
    mmm, i suffer severly from social anxiety disorder that i cant ask my parents for a phycologist. I cant tolerate this disorder anymore since i am a teenager. Please help me treat myself by myself by a natural way. THANK YOU FOR HELPING

    • ANSWER:
      Visit support groups. There is a website called "social anxiety support" where you can read/share experiences.

      Find a support group in your area. It helps to connect with others who dealing with this disorder.

      Read self-help books. The one I'm currently reading, "Painfully Shy: How to Overcome your Social Anxiety and Reclaim Your Life" by Barbara G. Markway. This book offer techniques to use to battle it plus stories of people with SA.

      Eat healthy. Certain foods we put in our bodies affect our mood so eat fruits, veggies and drink water several times a day. It helps to lay off caffeine or alcoholic drinks.

      Exercise. Set a schedule to routinely exercise and sweat all that negative feelings away. When people exercise, it puts them in a feel good mood.

      Meditate. Clear your head of negative thoughts and have a moment to yourself with serenity.

      Try supplements. Although most SAD sufferers take prescription drugs, go the other route and take supplements. Examples, Vitamin B-12, and Valerian Root are among the many safe to use. Research more about it online too and other supplements good for anxiety.

      Don't give up! Just look at SAD as one of the hurdles (yeah it is a major one) to get through in life. Think positive (use positive affirmations) to remind yourself everyday- you are relaxed, confident, and accept yourself despite your condition, and other people's opinion does not matter because you comes first and THAT'S what's important. SA affects makes us very self-conscious so it's important to channel our thinking pattern to one free of negative self-talks.

      When you start thinking highly, you will believe in yourself and it will almost comes second nature. This will take time, but I'm sure you can overcome it. :)

  3. QUESTION:
    How can I cure my social anxiety disorder? PLEASE TELL ME IT IS A QUESTIONS OF LIFE OR DEATH ???
    I have Social Anxiety Disorder, I want to cure it naturally or something. How can I treat my own self without any pills/drugs/alcohol/medications. IS there some exercise or some food that I should eat? Are there any vitamins that may help me???????

    • ANSWER:
      Go on a personal growth course or a course to build your self confidence. Or buy some books on this type of disorder and what to do to cure it.
      My advice to you is to tell yourself that you are a good person and you deserve to be happy. Every time you get a negative thought replace it with a positive thought.
      Maybe you are just shy and that is normal. There are a lot of shy people in the world. Just learn to focus more on what other people are saying and less on what you are feeling. Just remember that no matter what you say or do that there will always be someone who will criticise you. Just let nonconstructive criticism go over you head. Just ignore it. That is part of the social scene and you can't control it. You can only control how you react to it. Just be polite and focus on enjoying what you are doing or where you are going and ignore any negativity. Move away from negativity and be near people who respect you and your opinions.
      If you feel anxious just concentrate on your breathing and this will calm you down. Just think of the word 'calm' repeatedly and I bet you will eventually be cured of any anxieties you have! Just believe in yourself. It is a beautiful world out there. Enjoy!
      It is more of a self confidence thing than a taking vitamin thing. You could learn relaxation techniques or meditation techniques. Or just start in small steps by walking to the gate, then to the corner, then go into a shop etc. Just do this every day and you will slowly get used to being in social settings.

  4. QUESTION:
    I have social anxiety disorder and I think people think I'm immature?
    How do I change thei rperception. Because sometimes it's awkward when I talk to people because of this social anxiety disorder. I just try not to talk to people too much but I would like to really change this perception. I think what adds to it is also I'm naturally small and i have a high voice. They treat me like I'm 5 years old no matter how hard I try, all of them. This has been going on for years, and I think that I developed the social anxiety and all the related problems like low self esteem because of this.

    • ANSWER:
      I also suffer from SAD + know exactly what you're going through. It's more common than you think. I agree with the other posters. I think therapy can really help to talk about what happens in social situations. A lot of what triggers social anxiety is self-consciousness, and a negative self-perception-- you think others think something of you, then as a result, you become nervous, and socially uncomfortable. But really, mostly the uncomfortableness stems from your own perceptions and the truth is others are mainly thinking about themselves and are not judging you as much as you think.
      I agree that if anyone belittles you its THEY who have the problem, and are insecure- don't let them make you feel badly. They need to change, not you

  5. QUESTION:
    Depression and social anxiety preventing me...?
    ... to stay in school.

    I've always had this, but it was on a mild scale to where I could ignore it. I always had tons of friends, and made friends quite easily. But that said, most of those friends were of the "popular" crowd. And since I didn't look like them (chunky and ugly), they ganged up on me and treated me like shiit because of it. Especially the guys would make fun of me, which makes it hard for me to even talk to guys now.

    My "best friend" of 6 years ended our friendship on myspace randomly one day like so;

    "a;gkhadlkjfgj. nope. i'm done with you. fatty. hahahahaha. bye."

    Purposely writing like a 5 year old, mind you. To this day I remember what she wrote (this was back in 7th grade). And the thing that gets to me, is it was totally spontaneous. We were fine that day of school.

    After that, I started isolating myself from everyone. And around this time, my sister whose a year younger, became this beautiful girl who every single guy wants. So a couple of comments I've heard from guys are;

    "Hey, um.. why is your sister so hot and your like.. you know.. ugly."
    "Are you guys really related? You look nothing alike, your sisters so hot."
    "Noo, not the hot one, the ugly fat one."

    Ouch.

    Almost all of my friends have drifted from me, and really only hung out with my best friend (neighbor) I became extremely scared of anything social, whether it be presenting in class, being in a group project, or simple sitting alone in class. I started having super bad anxiety before school, so I'd stay home. It got to a point where 2 or 3 days of the week I wouldn't even go to school or I'd have to come home. For the last month, I started online school.

    The whole summer I have been preparing myself for school. I've tried everything to get in the right mind set and even started reconnecting with a couple old friends (they go to other schools though, lol). The first day of school was on Wednesday, I didn't have friends in any classes and was pretty lonely, but it was tolerable. Second day, was the same but a bit worse because I started getting anxiety over simple things. And Friday I can truthfully say was the worst day of my life. The night before, this kid (who I've met literally once) was talking to my best friend saying how I'm not attractive and how hot my sister is (my friend got incredibly pissed at the kid and stuck up for me). That's one thing that literally kills me. Comparing me to my sister, because I know how much more everything she is then me. Here's the comparison;

    Her: skinny, tan (fake lol, but still), alot of makeup (naturally pretty though, she got my moms good genes), bubbly personality, kind of a bitch and self centered.
    Me: ugly, overweight (big boobs, so it's proportionate lol), normal makeup, friendly and shy first impression, but sarcastic and crazy as my real personality.

    And we both have good sense of fashion, so it's not like I'm all frumpy. I just don't look regardless of what I do, lol.

    Anywho, so the next day (Friday) got progressively worse anxiety and depression wise. After lunch, I switched my 5th period to a different teacher, hoping I can at least know someone. But I didn't, and the whole time I was holding back tears because I was so paranoid these guys were laughing at me the whole class period. So I skipped 6th period in the same bathroom stall as I did Freshman year, crying and praying for things to change. I got home and slept until around 9 o'clock, hoping to feel better.

    But my sister woke me up with her friend saying they were going to subway with my friend Justin (one of the only guys who has made me feel like a normal person). He said he's going because he's worried about her, but I know better. Apparently he knocked on my door earlier looking for me, but since I was asleep he started hanging with my sister. Anyway, so they left (after inviting me when they saw my obvious distaste, but I declined). And I literally broke down. That proved to me there that literally no matter who it is, I don't compare to my sister. Justin had told me before when I was off handedly commenting on how pretty my sister is, that she's pretty but a typical kind of pretty. Nothing really special about her. I know that he likes me, but a couple hours with my sister and he's already hooked. I cut for the first time in awhile (not for attention mind you, the only people who know are my best friend and mom).

    So now I have school in a couple hours and idk what to do. I have lost all hope for this year, and don't want to go through the whole missing school thing. I don't want to do online school, but feel as if there is no choice for me. There is an alternate school with only 250 kids, but still.

    WHAT SHOULD I DO?!
    By the way, if you read all this and respond, thank you so much. Lol (:

    • ANSWER:
      aw your in awfull situation,best thing to do is just forget everyonr let people come to you ,show everyonee that beuty is skin deep,just aim to be independent and make evryone jealouse with your succsess theres organsations that can help you emotinally and if you wanna leave skwl do it , i dropped out of skwl coz it was shit and it is so if you wanna drop out do it you wont regret it if you aim to succseed no matter wat !

      you can only help yourself so try and change for the better maybee start dressing nice doing your hair stylish and all that get into some good music as it will get you through alot growing up .

      i hope things get better just be strong and dont listen to all those bitches stand up for yourself dont be a victom start telling people to shutup and people will start seeing you in a diffrent light because people like strong confident people.

  6. QUESTION:
    I need some major help concerning Generalized Anxiety Disorder. i feel so helpless :'(?
    I unfortunately have General Anxiety Disorder. it came up out of the blue about 2 years ago after a very stressful and emotional break up. i think thats what set it off. but anyways it was so bad that i had to be put on medication which i hate because i only believe in natural cures for health problems but the medicine has been the only thing able to keep the anxiety away most of the time but its still ruining my life. i think the anxiety itself and the side effects of the medicine is whats disabling me :(
    i just feel really out of it all the time. my mind is so foggy and im just so frustrated with life cause of this. i feel like theres no way out and im just really depressed and i feel 100% hopeless. i need some help...a real miracle or else idk what im gonna do.
    so i think i might want to find a naturopathic doctor that specializes in naturaly cureing or treating anxiety like mine. but idk how to go about that. how do i even start looking for a doctor like that? is there even any doctors out there like that?
    im 19 and a half and i want to get my life started but this anxiety has taken everything away from me. my social life, my energy and motivation, i cant drive, i cant sleep, im depressed. i just want to get rid of this or treat it 100% naturally so that i have no side effects. i want to be able to drive safely and get my license so i can go to college and get a job or find a career and move out of my parents house. someone please just give me some advice, and encouragement and some help cause im so done with this.

    • ANSWER:
      Pray.Doctor.Meds. And remember your not alone God ,family members , and just strangers are here to help. Hope this helps. Oh and ask your doc about sertraline it is magic!!!!!

  7. QUESTION:
    What should I do about this 'friend'? He seems to treat me like crap.?
    Hi. I have 2 friends who I've known since I was in primary school. We see each other regularly outside of school.

    Right, so, the background story is that in highschool, he suddenly became confident; he somehow attained a new personality, which was bigheaded, selfish, he showed off, he would not be afraid to argue with the weaker of the teachers. He even 'squared up' to a teacher once, and felt so proud of it afterwards.. Yeah, he seemed to totally change, and he would be cockey with me.

    Anyway, he went his separate ways in  terms of college although we still regularly hung out, played football, went to the pub, etc. he made new friends at college, one of whom smokes cannabis. So, naturally for him, he saw how 'cool' it was and started smoking too.

    Fast-forward to now, and that friend (who I still see) will smoke it everyday. He hangs out with several other smokers, in a dark, cold dirty garage, te floor littered in botlles and empty canabis packets; just a total dump. 80% of their conversation ilrevolves around cannabis; showing off new bongs, discussing who owes who, etc. He's always pressuring me into dmoking it. I have tried it, under his influence, but not for half a year now. He asks me if I want some whenever they have some, and I have to say no like 10times before they get the message.
    He lie's to me: he asks me out to go do something. (football, gym, pub etc). so I go out and then I'll be waiting a good hour for them to smoke their daily dosage of cannabis first before we actually do anything (he never told me they were gonna have an hour or two hour smoking session first!)

     I have social anxiety, so I can't easily make new friends.. It would be very difficult for me.. so incase you were wondering why I don't just leave and forget about him, that's why..

    Advice and suggestions are welcomed, thanks!

    • ANSWER:
      Even if it's difficult for you to make new friends, it would be better than having this friend. He has changed a lot it seems like it, but that's life, people go their separate ways and the only thing you can do is go your way.

      You don't need him, it seems like you don't have a lot on common with him besides wanting someone to hang out with. Trust me, you're better off without him.

      I wish you all the best and you will make friends who have common interest with you. It may be hard now, but the sooner you find these friends, the easier it will get and you will start having good times. Good luck!

  8. QUESTION:
    How do I ensure that I treat both my kids equally so they both feel loved and special and cherished growing up?
    My birth mother favored my younger sister over me. I was kicked out at 17 as we never got along because she was jealous that my grandma (her mother) legally adopted and raised me from 3 months to 11 years and my bond was stronger with her, naturally. She had me at 16, so I was her "mistake" baby, and she had my sister 10 years later when she married another man. My step dad was better to me than my own birth mother. Living with her for the 6.5 years I had to stay with her was hell on me. She is a borderline personality/narcissistic individual. I was the scapegoat for everything, my little sister could do no wrong. I was a star athlete, ran varsity track, was always on the honor roll, in all honors classes, never was into drugs or boys or trouble, but she always found something to yell and nit pick with me over.

    I am nearly 30, and married and I am still working on my self-esteem. I see what she did to me, and I would rather shoot myself dead right now point blank than to put my son and my daughter through that. I find myself always making sure almost in a OCD way that if I tell my baby girl she did good on her finger painting, I go tell my son a compliment based on his skills, even if it is random...like "Hey man, I saw you out there shooting hoops in the driveway. You're looking good. You should think about signing up for basketball at the youth center."

    It's so OCD, to the point even if one of my kids doesn't need anything from the store, and the other does, I will buy something for the other one anyway one size up and just put it away for later, because I don't want to treat them different. I feel I go into anxiety and OCD trying to be fair so I am nothing like my mother. I scold them equally too. If one gets a game taken away, so does the other. I don't play tattle tale blame games/scapegoating so I do group punishment unless I know one is solely responsible. I want to uplift them in healthy ways, not anxiety and OCD driven ways stemming from my own pain.

    My mother never helped me go to college even though I was a great student and had many scholarships (never enough for a full ride though), but she helped my special ed sister go to community college. Thanks to the Army I did attend college and found my way in life all by my own wits and grit, but I make it a mission to strive to help my kids any way I can EQUALLY when they are ready to cross that bridge. I also never got to have a boyfriend, or even a teen social life. I was too busy babysitting my younger sister while my mom stayed out getting wasted or working. Then, she would yell at me if a boy ever called and tell me I am not seeing any boy. But my sister has been screwing some dude since middle school and they're engaged now, she's 19 and he's about 23. So I want my kids to have normal kid social lives, and have boyfriend/girlfriends and feel that they can come to me about anything. I want them to know I am here for them, and I support and love them no matter what in life. How can I do this in a healthy way? I don't want my kids to ever feel the way I did growing up.

    • ANSWER:
      Work on getting over your resentment of your Mom and focus on what truly matters which are your Children. I grew up sheltered, things bought for me when needed even though there wasn't much, only negative was the lack of love/emotions/bond given to me by my Mother. So once I found love and started a family that was when my resentment towards her started. I just couldn't understand how a Mother not show love and affection to one child but can do so 100% to the other? It seems like I was the only one that was left out of the loop. My youngest sister of course could do no wrong. I had 5 other siblings but I felt so alone at times because none of them could relate what I was going through since they didn't get the same treatment. I feel growing up we had an awkward mother/daughter type of relationship. We could barely hold down a 5 minute conversation. I was only able to pour my thoughts to my dad. In some way I feel the love my Dad has for me is what drives her to give her love to the others. So my parents had their favorites... I might have been my Dad's favorite but it would have been nice if I could have at least an ounce of love from my Mother. My accomplishments go unnoticed, my children are hardly acknowledge. I see now that she treats them the same way she treated her own children... she chose a favorite and she makes it so obvious. It kills me but it is expected.

      Now as a Mother of 2 children. Boy being 8 years old, and daughter 21 months old. I was very scared when I was pregnant with my daughter. I often think that I might not love them Equally because I somehow feel it would be hard to do considering the age gap and the sex of my children. One will need me more than the other or so at least that is what I thought. But really now I know I do love them Equally because I have the same hopes for the both of them. I would die to save the both of them, I wouldn't choose one over the other in my heart of course but showing isn't so easy since both children will perceived it differently. I'm just glad they are healthy and happy children. Love is a word that is often said each day in our home. My Husband and I make sure of that.

      You've already got it covered because it seems to me you are already a wonderful mother. :-)

  9. QUESTION:
    Why do i have a hard time making friends? revised?
    I've always been a loner at heart, hanging out with ppl who would use me, ditch me and it went on throughout my life until i needed to be independent and i am more independent than ever but i always have this empty space within me, where i'd like to be belong somewhere. Not sounding good as i tell here. But you have to acknowledge that not many of us are lucky as other girls being in a social circle naturally and some with anxiety.

    This is what i had to do with so called friends as soon as ive realised how i was been treated i deleted them off facebook and elsewhere cos if i see their pics on a social events, i'd immediately get upset about it and feel more left out. It happened only twice. But overall the main reason was that.

    But they planned last year to go somewhere and i was allegedly invited but later months i never heard from them until ive found out that they've been to the place where i was suppose to go with them. All they did was asking me for help, picking up notes and so on until i just had enough and i stood up to my rights. I wanted to avoid argument but i subtly send them the msg i don't like them cos of the treatment. they had the nerve to even ask me why i did that. i just stayed quiet. believe me i was cold as ice. Next (scorpio) girl was using me too but i ignore her now.

    what is wrong with me

    15 sept 86
    london
    2.30pm

    • ANSWER:
      Effing dam, i'd gladly be your friend. Though i live in Conway, Missouri (America) so i can imagine how that'd work out. But hey, if ya want to talk then just send me a message, might give me a reason to start using the internet (with the exception of Y!A and youtube, cause i need to listen to music while i troll along) again.

      Edit: I kinda know how you feel, alittle bit. I have friends, but not many. The ones i do have i don't care about because the deadness i have isn't there because of lack of friends. I dunno how to help tho...

  10. QUESTION:
    Why do i have a hard time making friends? why cant i do it?
    I've always been a loner at heart, hanging out with ppl who would use me, ditch me and it went on throughout my life until i needed to be independent and i am more independent than ever but i always have this empty space within me, where i'd like to be belong somewhere. Not sounding good as i tell here. But you have to acknowledge that not many of us are lucky as other girls being in a social circle naturally and some with anxiety.

    This is what i had to do with so called friends as soon as ive realised how i was been treated i deleted them off facebook and elsewhere cos if i see their pics on a social events, i'd immediately get upset about it and feel more left out. It happened only twice. But overall the main reason was that.

    But they planned last year to go somewhere and i was allegedly invited but later months i never heard from them until ive found out that they've been to the place where i was suppose to go with them. All they did was asking me for help, picking up notes and so on until i just had enough and i stood up to my rights. I wanted to avoid argument but i subtly send them the msg i don't like them cos of the treatment. they had the nerve to even ask me why i did that. i just stayed quiet. believe me i was cold as ice.

    what is wrong with me
    Its not exactly all girls, there's been two guy and 2 girls.

    • ANSWER:

  11. QUESTION:
    How do you know if you're clinically depressed or if you're just going through a tough time?
    I have been feeling pretty depressed for the last couple of months...all winter, really. Starting when my mom took a turn for the worse in November and she passed away the day after Christmas. I have never dealt with such a loss before and it's been hard...especially since life didn't stop or even slow down like one thinks it should when someone so close dies. I took 1 week off of work to make arrangements for her service and gather her things, then it was back to the daily grind of being a working mother and wife, which is stressful enough in itself. So naturally I've been feeling a little down, and if I'm being honest, I always get a little bout of "winter time blues" around this time of year. But how do you know when what you're feeling is a normal process (such as grief for my mom) or when it's clinical depression that needs to be treated? I have quite a family history of all sorts of mental illness, including depression, bi-polar disorder and social anxiety and that's just from my own parents. This has also made me weary of psych meds...it seems like once you get on them, you can never get off without being a big bucket of crazy.

    If you are currently or have ever taken medication for depression, what made you decide to treat it? How did you know that it was an actual chemical imbalance and that it wasn't only temporary?

    (I'm asking this in Parenting because I get the best and most genuine advice here...)

    • ANSWER:
      I think you should give it time and try some other things before you turn to medication. Losing someone so close is difficult and that along with the winter blues (which I also always get) is depressing. I would try and make time for yourself to have some you time, join a class, make a point to go out once every two weeks with a good friend. Do something to break out of routine here and there and think about the good weather coming in the near future. You could also try some counseling to deal with the death of your mom and daily stress, trust me talking to someone can help a lot!

      this article might help you learn more about how to tell the difference between clinical depression and sadness

      http://depression.about.com/cs/amidepressed/a/sadness.htm

      After I had my youngest I had a period of PPD where I was crying all the time and worrying like crazy about death and my doctor put me on Paxil. It did seem to help a little however once I felt enough time had passed and I wanted to go off it, I had an extremely hard time getting off the medication. Even lowering my dose made me feel sick, head aches, nauseous, shakes, dizziness, sweating etc...I felt like a druggie in withdrawl. It was so bad I went back to my regular dose to feel better. I finally got to the point where I was determined t stop the medicine and I just stopped taking it cold turkey which I know you are not supposed to. I was very sick for two weeks and then finally it went away and I was fine.

      I'll never take any medication like that again, it was scary feeling like my body depended on it so much. I was on a low dose too. My doctor recently wanted me to try a different one because I had an eye twitch and she thought it might be from stress and I refused. I'm going to have periods of stress and sadness in my life, I don't need to pop a pill everytime I feel sad. That's just how I feel about it. I'd rather at least try other things before turning to medication.

  12. QUESTION:
    what's your opinion... i need some help?
    this is a sort of awkward question, anyway here goes. so i used to see a psychologist but stopped since i felt it wasn't going anywhere because i felt so ashamed with my issues. i have social anxiety, depression, bulimia and on and off anorexia. i hated talking about any of my problems because i felt i had no right to complain. i was never raped, or had any sort of dramatic life changing anything. i am just a girl who naturally has a few issues and i don't know why. my psychologist treated refugees who have been treated like animals when they arrived in the country, and women who have been beaten by their husbands, and people with really sad stories. i was scared i came across like a whining teenager who was too dramatic with no real issues. so i stopped seeing him.

    what do you think? do you think he would have thought the same thing but was too professional to say anything? do you think you only warrant sympathy/ help if you have been through a really hard life.

    no matter how raw my throat was from the bulimia or how weak i felt, or how anxious i felt i didn't think i deserved help because what the hell? i have an okay life with nothing to complain about. i don't know if this is just a rant or not but what is your take? do you think girls wo whine like me should just stfu because i have no real problem/ have never been through anything like a rape or abuse? can you still have issues if you haven't been through anything too bad?

    i know this is an off question and a little annoying. i just need some opinions because i just am confused. i don't know what i expect as an answer, just anything really, you're opinion?

    • ANSWER:
      Your question wasn't annoying at all. You need to care more about yourself, gain some self-confidence, and stop caring about what others think.

      Do you only feel selfish for asking for help if it's you asking, or would you think someone else who has an easy life but has issues is selfish too? I've had an easy life with plenty of opportunities and love and whatnot. But I suffer from social anxiety, depression, and other issues as well which have kind of ruined my life when it really didn't have to.

      Should I have gotten help to prevent all the damage that it caused, or would that have been selfish of me? I think that you would have wanted me to get better, and if that's the case, then it shows you have a low self-esteem and you aren't treating yourself the way you should. You need to be as good to yourself as you would someone else.

      The reason I should have gotten help, and you should get help, is because problems are only as real as they feel, and how much they interfere with your life. Someone with an objectively horrible life where they abused and live in terrible conditions can still be happy. It would be very hard and rare, but it's possible. Just like how someone with an objectively perfect life where they are loved and have a very easy life can be absolutely miserable. It's all about how *you* subjectively feel in your mind, not how your life's circumstances are.

      What you may also be afraid of is being those "whiney teens", whom of course exist. The problem with their behavior though isn't that they are troubled but things they shouldn't be, it's that they aren't *actually* deeply bothered by what they're complaining about. They typically just want attention and sympathy, which may be part of a personality disorder, which would mean it kind of isn't their fault, but that usually isn't the case; it's usually just their unappealing character. You are NOT like them, as your problems seem very genuine.

      So basically, if your problems do really bother you, which they seem to, you deserve to get help. You need to see your psychologist or a different one, and get the help that you deserve. If they don't understand what I've just explained, then they don't deserve their job at all, and you should change psychologists. I really doubt your average certified psychologist would think that, but psychologists are people too, and sometimes they're actually pretty idiotic. My friend has seen some pretty ignorant and pathetic mental health workers, so just try a different one if you don't get a good one. Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to find one that really helps.

      I hope you get better, and I hope you know that you deserve it.

  13. QUESTION:
    How do I stop becoming too passive & boring as a girlfriend?
    I've been in a relationship with a great guy for about 8 months now and I love him to bits.
    I recently moved abroad to stay with him and his family for a while - he's Asian and so are all his family and most of his friends, and I'm white.
    The weirdest thing is I seem to be taking on the submissive traits that Asian girls SUPPOSEDLY have...even though most of them are actually assertive and very confident. And I feel like I've completely changed. I can't speak the local language so he has to translate everything for me. As of now I don't know anyone here and I find it hard to make friends because of the language barrier, so all I do is stay home bored all day while he goes out and works.

    I'm naturally quite shy and introverted, and my boyfriend is quite dominant, sociable and opinionated, and sometimes I feel a little threatened by this. I give him lots of freedom but inside I'm incredibly jealous and clingy. I haven't told him I feel this way.
    The more extroverted he is, the less I am. It sounds annoying but I just do whatever he wants (within reason!).
    While I can be opinionated and a real b*tch when I feel strongly about something, I don't feel like voicing my opinion around him because in a weird way I like doing whatever he wants because I love him and just want to make him happy. It's like if it's good enough for you, then it's good enough for me.
    Don't get me wrong - he's a great boyfriend, treats me like a Princess, and he doesn't abuse or take advantage of me in any way, it's just ME who chooses to act this way around him. I do have a life and friends of my own but I've kinda lost ambition to do anything with my life since he said he will provide for me. I know that's an incredibly stupid mindset to have, though...now I'm thinking I could even be depressed or have a social anxiety?

    Sometimes he does ask me like 'Why do you always agree with me?' or 'How about you pick what YOU want?' but usually he tells me I'm the sweetest girl he knows. I seem to be confusing being nice, kind and considerate with being a doormat and I hate feeling this way.

    Nice girls don't win and I've realised this. I'm becoming more and more emotionally dependent on him and it isn't good.

    How can I gain some self confidence and ambition, and just go back to my more fiery, independent old self?

    • ANSWER:

  14. QUESTION:
    How can I reveal my true self.?
    First off, let me explain why this is so hard for me to do. I am a 22 y/o College Grad with a decent job and pretty much all the necessities in life (except a car), however I don't have a single person I could call a friend. I am a compulsive liar, and suffer from social anxiety disorder. With this colminates into is that I have a bunch of aquaintences but no one to confide in or share a more than surface level relationship with.

    Everytime I meet someone new, I start this vicious circle of lies that result in me keeping them at face value out of fear that they'll find out the truth about me and look at me like some kind of evil freak of nature. I know it maybe hard to believe but it happens so naturally that even though I know it's wrong I do it anyway.

    Simply my goal is to be confortable with who I am enough to not find it necessary to lie when meeting someone new, and to be able to reveal who I really am to the people I already know without them treating me like an outcast. I know it's a lofty goal and no single answer on this site is going to give me a complete life altering answer, but if anyone can at least offer any recondmendations it would be greatly appreciated.

    (and no, god is not the answer i'm looking for. I talk to myself enough as it is).

    • ANSWER:
      You already got the answer. Just be comfortable with yourself. Be true to yourself.

      Being true to oneself means to face your weakness and strengths. And express yourself. Know what you really need, not want. Don't run from it.

      I am sure, if you tell your friends the truth, they will accept you. See, no one is perfect, and the point it making friends and socializing is not be make you appear to be amazing or cool in front of others, but to make others feel APPRECIATED to be with you. Friendships os not about quantity. It is about quality and feeding to each others needs not wants. Just a smile and pat on the shoulder is enough. Just believe in yourself.

      I KNOW YOU HAVE THE COURAGE
      TO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

      BECAUSE IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

  15. QUESTION:
    accusation at church?
    This woman I don't really know well at church and she always treats me as if she doesn't like me came up to me last Weds. and said she had something personal to tell me, and I said ok, She said that everyone can see up my dress when I lead singing, and at the times I have to sit down. I asked her if everyone could see my underwear and she was like well no, but ummmm, (she never really told me what they see). Well, I have social anxiety and and very self conscious, and I wanted to get out of church then because I was needing a cry big time, so we finally left, anyways I talked to a couple of the nice people of my church and they said they have never seen anything. Then my husband even talked to the preacher and he said this lady was just a busy body, and she shouldn't have said this to me. I am just wanting input if people think this woman is off balance or if she just doesn't like me? I mean she gave me details of how her husband elbowed her and said look at her "oh my gosh". Should she have said something like this to me? I cried two days over this, and the people that prayed for me finally did the trick, and the preacher saying she is just naturally a trouble maker in the church made me feel better. I mean I wanted to quit going I felt so humilated. I just want to know what others think? I don't kinow what she would have to be jealous of, I'm fat. I do remember one time in Sunday school her husband sat next to me on the pew and she got between us, like she didn't want him setting next to me. What could possibly be her problem with me. I don't really even know her. Is she crazy?
    Almost all my dresses go to my ankles, I have maybe one dress that goes 5 inches past my knees, I always wear a cammy under shirts because I have big cleavage I don't want others to see especially at church. I'm very modest.

    • ANSWER:
      You're doing fine.
      I have spent a lot of years in churches, a lot of them, over the years. Let me put it this way, church seems to draw several types of people, among them the overly critical. These types, unfortunately, usually like to put others down to make themselves feel better--about themselves. These people also often feel they have the right (owing to their "superior" standards!) to tell others how to live. That is not the true spirit of Christianity.
      I don't think the lady is necessarily crazy, but she has problems or she would keep her mouth shut. Tell her, it's up to the pastor to decide any dress code, not her.
      If it continues to be a problem, consider finding another church. If you can look at the situation as a way to grow yourself, well and good. If not, if it hinders your service and enjoyment of worship, then it's likely a good idea to serve elsewhere.

  16. QUESTION:
    Accusation at church?
    This woman I don't really know well at church and she always treats me as if she doesn't like me came up to me last Weds. and said she had something personal to tell me, and I said ok, She said that everyone can see up my dress when I lead singing, and at the times I have to sit down. I asked her if everyone could see my underwear and she was like well no, but ummmm, (she never really told me what they see). Well, I have social anxiety and and very self conscious, and I wanted to get out of church then because I was needing a cry big time, so we finally left, anyways I talked to a couple of the nice people of my church and they said they have never seen anything. Then my husband even talked to the preacher and he said this lady was just a busy body, and she shouldn't have said this to me. I am just wanting input if people think this woman is off balance or if she just doesn't like me? I mean she gave me details of how her husband elbowed her and said look at her "oh my gosh". Should she have said something like this to me? I cried two days over this, and the people that prayed for me finally did the trick, and the preacher saying she is just naturally a trouble maker in the church made me feel better. I mean I wanted to quit going I felt so humilated. I just want to know what others think? I don't kinow what she would have to be jealous of, I'm fat. I do remember one time in Sunday school her husband sat next to me on the pew and she got between us, like she didn't want him setting next to me. What could possibly be her problem with me. I don't really even know her. Is she crazy?

    • ANSWER:

  17. QUESTION:
    What is it with competitive females?
    Heres a little history - I was a drug addict, so I knew little about clothing and grooming myself/ including having self confidence and self worth. But when I finally got clean about a year ago, I started building self esteem and confidence, including changing the way I dress and at least brushing my hair every morning.

    so my sister in law who is 10 Years older than me started competing with me. first it was subtle, she ignored me subtly and in conversation pretended like i wasnt there etc etc, so as time progressed she became even more toxic. She'd get really upset and weird if she saw me all dressed up and stuff. She manipulates my mother into being overtly charming and when a group of highschool boys comes over to visit my brother (She's 28 by the way) she will make sure that she's the center of attention so that she can feel all wonderful. Im an introvert, I naturally listen more than I talk, so when she goes all childsih I cant really go and be ''more'' childsih than her, in fact I really dont want to, it just annoys me that she cant give me a little chance to just sit nicely an relaxed and talk like adults do, instead she jumps around like a sixteen year old and flirts with everyone. So this wouldnt have bothered me if this thing hasnt been going on for the past 7 months. But since she's in my face everyday I cant help but think about it. She also makes me extremely nervous, since I use to suffer from generelised anxiety disorder and social phobia, im very prone to anxiety and when someone is constantly watching you, competing with you and escalating from evil to nice every few days, it gets exhausting and scary, you start to doubt yourself sometimes and when you try and point out to your mother that the female is manipulative you get told that your perceptions are fake, but i know my gut and it's not lying!

    here is some examples of the competition she's held (with herself mind you) these last three weeks:

    * Im learning to drive, so we went to the mall and I told my brother (She was busy driving) that i reversed all the way from our house to the road etc, so she got her ''attitude'' and reversed all the way from the parking space in front of the shop to the petrol station.

    * I bought myself new clothing like all teens do, so she got her "attitude" and tries to intimidate me with her new clothing. (Shes extremely materialistic)

    * I like wearing heels, so since i started wearing heels, she got her "attitude" and started wearing heels.

    * I mentioned to my brother that i had to lift his bed with my iron muscles, so she went right after that and went to lift the couberts with her "attitude" and iron muscles.

    Okay so this might not sound so bad, but if you have to be here youd pick up that competitve vibe. im sure there are many other women who has had to deal with such women. I just tell myself over and over that im not going to compete back and focus on growing into a nice person instead of becoming her, but sometimes it really gets me down and hightens my anxiety levels.

    How do you treat such people? it's hard being nice because you know what shes trying to do, but in front of other people she's able to hide it.

    How can I ignore these little things? belive me its not that easy.
    Does she have some kind of narcissisitc disroder or histrionic or something that she MUST REMAIN THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES? no matter what she must be better than me, I dont want to be better than her! I want to live in harmony with new self and the world around me, but it's impossible with her around plz help!

    • ANSWER:
      No matter what her problem is she is jealous of you. I was so bent on not bringing up the bible but what you are going through is all in there. I am not a religious person but I do know to some extent what you are experiencing seen as I was on drugs myself. If you do not stand strong against this person then you are in danger of relapsing which is what she wants. Her actions reflex's emotional abuse and can make you very ill if not dealt with.

      I personally think that you should get as much information on emotional abuse and what is in the mind of the abuser and how you can protect yourself. And it does sound terrible what she is doing to you especially since you are in remission. Whilst you are seeking help by getting as much info on emotional abuse also pray and tell him everything that is on your mind and ask him to guide you through this ordeal.

      I think you are going through a massive character change and what you are experiencing whilst going down this long and lonely road does not surprise me, people not taking you serious is a very common sign. There are forces which come in any form even family members that will try anything to set you back to where you was before. Know this and keep strong and God will guide you through the storm.

  18. QUESTION:
    how can you keep in your own world but at the same time deal with reality and people?
    ive always been introverted, and reserved, unsociable, reclusive , im now nearly 32 and been through quite a bit of of adversity in life.

    to be honest, i dont like a lot of the world at large , dont like the mainstream media , i like my own little world, my own diversions , but dont want to end up cut off from the world and alienated from people, living as an unsociable recluse.

    i have various personality disorders, made progress and trying to better my situation for years, working working with the mental health services - ive lived in my own little , 1 bedroom apartment for years owning few possessions, living on disability benefits.

    i still struggle with aggression, paranoia and great anxiety , hoping psychotherapy can help me along with it . my personality has never changed : reserved , in my own world , private , a bit unsociable.
    but i realise i could spend my life like this and end up alienated completely from the world. iam wary of people and are aloof with them because i have been ill treated by people in the past , especially when i had my aggression problems years ago....people were treating as a social outcast ....patronising me....belittling me...socially excluding me..

    and other things. i really dont forgive the way people were treating me at the time, it took a lot of self restraint not to fcking smash someone in - show them whats what.

    so im naturally on guard now and wary, but i dont want to be to aloof and closed off so that i live the rest of my life alone and solitary.

    i have a disadvantaged past , missed out on all the normal things like : building relationships , being employed , getting qualifications and most other things.

    i dont have the advantage of having social status or healthy relationships in my life....feel demonised and branded by my past.

    my ankle was operated on months ago to repair torn ligaments so i need to chase for an appointment to see how thats getting on at the hospital....it feels weak and unsteady still.

    all together ive aged in the face because of life stress, have a few physical disfigurements - injured nerves in my right knuckle because i smashed my hand into a wall years ago...i can still use my hand normally....it looks normal.....but i cant use it to punch because i get shooting pain in it.
    have a crooked little finger on left hand, due to injury years back.

    have a prison record, a psychiatric record.

    its not gonna be easy to develop meaningful social relationships , or achieve my goals of getting a good paying computer job or buying a home in a little coastal village .

    seriously what will i do ?

    • ANSWER:
      Good luck with getting the computer job and moving to the seaside. Just concentrate on a few goals at a time and put the past behind you.

      Obviously, nobody can predict if psychotherapy will either help you overcome your mental health and personality problems. Depends what you put into it, if you can be honest and realistic and let yourself go and learn.

      Again, good luck and good wishes for the future.

  19. QUESTION:
    RESISTANT STRAIN OF CANDIDA ALBICANS CAUSING PERSISTENT VAGINAL THRUSH or DO I HAVE VULVODYNIA? PLEASE HELP!!!?
    20 year old female, chronic thrush sufferer.
    MARRIED, tend to develop thrush symtoms day after intercourse.

    became very noticible when bouts of thrush became more intense and more frequent.

    It began from a thrush infection, petri dish results came back from the lab specifying that i had a "heavy overgrowth of candida albicans", this was almost 3 weeks ago.

    For many years from ages 14-till now (20) i have suffered from reoccuernt bouts of thrush, usually minor enough to be treated by 6 day course of canesten cream and which always clears up after treatment.

    I was just routinely tested for clamidyia, herpes virus 1 and 2, hiv, bacterial vaginosis, uti (urinary tract in fection) and they all came back negative. (A HEAVY OVERGROWTH OF CANDIDA ALBICANS) was THE CULPRIT.

    i dont smoke or drink, am not on the pill, i dont have diabetes but i do suffer from stress and anxiety and hypoglycemia as well as love my chocolate and coffee a little too much.

    i wear cotton undies, dont wash my vagina with anything other than water, i both eat yoghurt and apply it topically. i am taking inner health plus capsules every day to help my body build up its good bacteria. i eat a lot of garlic, am now bathing in baths containing apple cider vinigar and baking soda.

    i am now boiling my water, drinking more than 2 litres a day and cutting out all suger, caffeine and antibiotic containing foods such as red meat chicken, eggs and naturally ALL YEAST CONTAINING PRODUCTS.

    i am up to my wits end with pain when i pass urine even though i have been tested for a UTI twice now and they both came back negative. i have a CONSTANT BURNING SENSATION on the outsie lips of my vulva that periodically worsens in bouts of varying intentisity.

    BUT THE BURNING IS ALWAYS THERE!!!.

    i am going to see a specialist however, the doctors are saying that i should be sitting on their side of the desk consisdering i have researched so much to help myself but they just prescribe one treatment at a time to no avail.

    TREATMENTS I HAVE USED
    i have used canesoral duo (oral capsule and topical cream) 3 days later no improvement, canesten 3 day cream, 3 days later no improvement, visit to the doctor again prescribed NILSTAT for a course of 14 days, burning began to get worse whilst using the cream so i stopped went to a different doctor and was prescribed orzole oral capsule and canesten 6 day pessary (the ones u insert in the vagina) no improvement. so back to the doctor and was prescribed boric acid (14 day course).

    Am currently on my 4th day of treatment and symptoms have remained the same-constant burning-worse when i URINATE-fluctuaing in levels of intensity. i am extreamily depressed and have suicidal thoughts.

    on top of this my anxiety is playing up and making it terribly hard to keep up with anything in my daily life. i have drastically changed my diet to kill the candida yeast and am taking antifungal herbal teas from the naturopath to help elliminate the fungal infection in my body.

    i am suffering really bad withdrawal symptoms for sugar and coffee which is only making the process worse. i feel as though the doctors have not a clue about how to really help or treat reoccurent thrush infections and that really brings out my anxiety and fear levels further.

    i feel really alone. it is ruining my sex life, my social life, my studies, my work and my will to live.

    the fact that i have tried all these treatments and still no relief makes me think is it possible to burn myself with the amount of differnt treatments i have used? AND HENCE THE BURNING SENSATION NOW?

    then i think its not possible because my body would have healed itself now if that was the case.

    could i have possibly cut myself when pushing the dry applicator into my vagina and irritated it?

    OR IS IT ANOTHER CONDITION ALLTOGETHER?

    i was GOOGLING CONSTANT VAGINAL BURNING and reaults came back about a condition called VULVODYNIA where for some unknown reason a womans vagina is constantly irritated, burning and sore.

    apparently the doctors dont know much about that condition either and only prescribe antidepresents anyway.

    apparently reoccurent vaginal yeast infections (thrush) can bring VULVODYNIA) ON.

    does any one have any INTRICATE advice about reoccurent thrush infections and CONSTANT VAGINAL BURNING?

    believe you me i have researched nealry all there is to know about canida thrush infections but all the information is so general and reapeated.

    WHAT CAN I DO TO FASTEN THE HEALING PROCESS?

    all these drastic changes to my diet and lifestyle are so draining and in my fragile state it is hard not to feel suicidal and totally alone.

    I HAVE COMPLAINED SO MUCH THAT MY HUSBAND IS NOW IMMUNE TO MY SUFFERING STATE AND I FEEL EVEN FURTHER ISOLATED.

    PLEASE HELP!

    i hope i have described my history thouroghly enough.

    • ANSWER:
      Take my hand. Now take a deep breath. It's going to be ok.

      You have clearly done everything in your power to fix the problem yourself. So we know this is not a lifestyle problem or anything you're doing wrong.

      My best guess would be that you have Trichomoniasis. You didn't mention whether they tested you for it or not. If not then please do so. All of your symptoms fit with Trich. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex/trichomoniasis-4282.htm#where

      My second best guess would be that whatever it is it's getting passed back and forth between you and your husband. He could have something but not have any symptoms. So just when you start to heal you have intercourse and the bacterial infection is passed back and forth. Abstain during treatments and possibly have him get tested.

      What you DO have is Vaginitis. That's the general term for what you're experiencing regardless of the actual cause. Here is information from the best clinic in the country: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vaginitis/DS00255

      I don't think you have Vulvodynia, but you can read all the information and judge for yourself. You can print it out and take it to your doctor and ask them: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vulvodynia/DS00159/DSECTION=treatments%2Dand%2Ddrugs

      My third and final guess is that there may be some hormonal imbalance going on with you. That can cause all kinds of problems. A physician would need to check your levels and prescribe any necessary medication.

      You are not alone. I know it's frustrating as heck and every day is a struggle, but you're a fighter and you can get through this. If you aren't getting anywhere with your doctor then go to someone else, but don't let them send you away without a diagnosis, in pain, and emotionally shattered. Hold on. Okay? (hand squeeze)

  20. QUESTION:
    how do you handle unfriendliness by members of the public?
    im a 32 year old white male and for years ive experienced this problem from people , stand-offishness , cold receptions by pharmacists , doctors receptionist , flat one word responses , i could understand it many years ago when i had serious rage and behavioural problems - but for years ive been doing well with my psychological disorders , working on my social behaviour , trying to be social, friendly, civil and polite to people , controlling the aggression very well...cooperating with the metal health services....on medication that helps etc.
    its been a very difficult journey, i was diagnosed with personality disorders years ago, suffer co existing anxiety disorders.....suffered quite a few adversities through life ....psychiatric record..prison record.

    missed out on normal life events like : building relationships, being employed, getting qualifications.
    - etc etc

    lived alone for 6 years on disability benefits owning few material possessions.

    a family member said to basically '' fk people '' , im not obliged to anybody , as long as im doing my best in my life , trying to better my life, not hurting anyone - it doesn't matter what people think or their negative responses..

    of course i agree with this , and im naturally quite aloof, and reserved, remote and distant myself to a great extent.

    but im also quite a bit sensitive sometimes, and an unfriendly , flat sounding pharmacist can really get to me.

    as ive said, various members of the public in my community have treated me like this for years, but ive tried to ignore it and just '' shrug it off ''

    but other times it brings me down, and it makes me feel outcasted and persecuted, viewed in some kind of negative way.

    can anyone relate or know how to deal with it, without the impulse to become frustrated and angry ?

    • ANSWER:
      Someone once told me this while I was in meditation class. They said that all humans basically desire happiness. For example, if someone on the bus shoves past you or someone in line behind you at the store grumbles because you are taking too long, you have to remember that they are trying to be happy just as you are. The person shoves past you on the bus because her feet hurt from a long day at work and she wants a seat so bad she does not care how rude she is to get it.....And the impatient mouthy guy in line behind you is running late for work and he wants to get his coffee so he can be happy. It is not personal, but it is an animalistic urge to get or do whatever is needed to feel happy.

      if someone is talking in a flat voice, maybe they are doing their best to act civil because maybe underneath that flat voice is pure rage and anger from being payed a low amount of money, or because their boss sucks or they have a headache. We all do our best and some of us can't help it that when we need something, we are like animals just to get it because we all want to be happy.
      It is not fair or nice sometimes how we humans act in order to be happy. Sometimes it is downright cruel, like being mean on purpose to others in order to feel powerful or in control. But just remember that you are the better person for not reacting to negativity. Just take a deep breath when someone is being mean or sarcastic, and learn to stay calm and yet do not be a doormat. If a receptionist is being rude, ignore it and stay calm and speak with confidence and be firm about your needs. Ignore the rest. Because people like to get a rise out of others, and if you choose not to play their mind games, you will always win.

  21. QUESTION:
    Accusation at church?
    This woman I don't really know well at church and she always treats me as if she doesn't like me came up to me last Weds. and said she had something personal to tell me, and I said ok, She said that everyone can see up my dress when I lead singing, and at the times I have to sit down. I asked her if everyone could see my underwear and she was like well no, but ummmm, (she never really told me what they see). Well, I have social anxiety and and very self conscious, and I wanted to get out of church then because I was needing a cry big time, so we finally left, anyways I talked to a couple of the nice people of my church and they said they have never seen anything. Then my husband even talked to the preacher and he said this lady was just a busy body, and she shouldn't have said this to me. I am just wanting input if people think this woman is off balance or if she just doesn't like me? I mean she gave me details of how her husband elbowed her and said look at her "oh my gosh". Should she have said something like this to me? I cried two days over this, and the people that prayed for me finally did the trick, and the preacher saying she is just naturally a trouble maker in the church made me feel better. I mean I wanted to quit going I felt so humilated. I just want to know what others think? I don't kinow what she would have to be jealous of, I'm fat. I do remember one time in Sunday school her husband sat next to me on the pew and she got between us, like she didn't want him setting next to me. What could possibly be her problem with me. I don't really even know her. Is she crazy?
    I want to let people know I dress modestly at church. Most of my dresses go to my ankles, and one dress goes about 5 inches past my knees.

    • ANSWER:
      I always like to fight fire with fire. I would have told that next time I'll go pantiless just for her. After all, since when is the body a sin.

  22. QUESTION:
    Accusation at church?
    This woman I don't really know well at church and she always treats me as if she doesn't like me came up to me last Weds. and said she had something personal to tell me, and I said ok, She said that everyone can see up my dress when I lead singing, and at the times I have to sit down. I asked her if everyone could see my underwear and she was like well no, but ummmm, (she never really told me what they see). Well, I have social anxiety and and very self conscious, and I wanted to get out of church then because I was needing a cry big time, so we finally left, anyways I talked to a couple of the nice people of my church and they said they have never seen anything. Then my husband even talked to the preacher and he said this lady was just a busy body, and she shouldn't have said this to me. I am just wanting input if people think this woman is off balance or if she just doesn't like me? I mean she gave me details of how her husband elbowed her and said look at her "oh my gosh". Should she have said something like this to me? I cried two days over this, and the people that prayed for me finally did the trick, and the preacher saying she is just naturally a trouble maker in the church made me feel better. I mean I wanted to quit going I felt so humilated. I just want to know what others think? I don't kinow what she would have to be jealous of, I'm fat. I do remember one time in Sunday school her husband sat next to me on the pew and she got between us, like she didn't want him setting next to me. What could possibly be her problem with me. I don't really even know her. Is she crazy?
    I just want to let everyone know almost all my dresses go to my ankles. I have one dress that goes about 5 inches past my knees.

    • ANSWER:
      rolf! 5 points?
      oh 0 now... you know better than that, make it believable.

  23. QUESTION:
    Depression and social anxiety preventing me...?
    ... to stay in school.

    I've always had this, but it was on a mild scale to where I could ignore it. I always had tons of friends, and made friends quite easily. But that said, most of those friends were of the "popular" crowd. And since I didn't look like them (chunky and ugly), they ganged up on me and treated me like shiit because of it. Especially the guys would make fun of me, which makes it hard for me to even talk to guys now.

    My "best friend" of 6 years ended our friendship on myspace randomly one day like so;

    "a;gkhadlkjfgj. nope. i'm done with you. fatty. hahahahaha. bye."

    Purposely writing like a 5 year old, mind you. To this day I remember what she wrote (this was back in 7th grade). And the thing that gets to me, is it was totally spontaneous. We were fine that day of school.

    After that, I started isolating myself from everyone. And around this time, my sister whose a year younger, became this beautiful girl who every single guy wants. So a couple of comments I've heard from guys are;

    "Hey, um.. why is your sister so hot and your like.. you know.. ugly."
    "Are you guys really related? You look nothing alike, your sisters so hot."
    "Noo, not the hot one, the ugly fat one."

    Ouch.

    Almost all of my friends have drifted from me, and really only hung out with my best friend (neighbor) I became extremely scared of anything social, whether it be presenting in class, being in a group project, or simple sitting alone in class. I started having super bad anxiety before school, so I'd stay home. It got to a point where 2 or 3 days of the week I wouldn't even go to school or I'd have to come home. For the last month, I started online school.

    The whole summer I have been preparing myself for school. I've tried everything to get in the right mind set and even started reconnecting with a couple old friends (they go to other schools though, lol). The first day of school was on Wednesday, I didn't have friends in any classes and was pretty lonely, but it was tolerable. Second day, was the same but a bit worse because I started getting anxiety over simple things. And Friday I can truthfully say was the worst day of my life. The night before, this kid (who I've met literally once) was talking to my best friend saying how I'm not attractive and how hot my sister is (my friend got incredibly pissed at the kid and stuck up for me). That's one thing that literally kills me. Comparing me to my sister, because I know how much more everything she is then me. Here's the comparison;

    Her: skinny, tan (fake lol, but still), alot of makeup (naturally pretty though, she got my moms good genes), bubbly personality, kind of a ***** and self centered.
    Me: ugly, overweight (big boobs, so it's proportionate lol), normal makeup, friendly and shy first impression, but sarcastic and crazy as my real personality.

    And we both have good sense of fashion, so it's not like I'm all frumpy. I just don't look regardless of what I do, lol.

    Anywho, so the next day (Friday) got progressively worse anxiety and depression wise. After lunch, I switched my 5th period to a different teacher, hoping I can at least know someone. But I didn't, and the whole time I was holding back tears because I was so paranoid these guys were laughing at me the whole class period. So I skipped 6th period in the same bathroom stall as I did Freshman year, crying and praying for things to change. I got home and slept until around 9 o'clock, hoping to feel better.

    But my sister woke me up with her friend saying they were going to subway with my friend Justin (one of the only guys who has made me feel like a normal person). He said he's going because he's worried about her, but I know better. Apparently he knocked on my door earlier looking for me, but since I was asleep he started hanging with my sister. Anyway, so they left (after inviting me when they saw my obvious distaste, but I declined). And I literally broke down. That proved to me there that literally no matter who it is, I don't compare to my sister. Justin had told me before when I was off handedly commenting on how pretty my sister is, that she's pretty but a typical kind of pretty. Nothing really special about her. I know that he likes me, but a couple hours with my sister and he's already hooked. I cut for the first time in awhile (not for attention mind you, the only people who know are my best friend and mom).

    So now I have school in a couple hours and idk what to do. I have lost all hope for this year, and don't want to go through the whole missing school thing. I don't want to do online school, but feel as if there is no choice for me. There is an alternate school with only 250 kids, but still.

    WHAT SHOULD I DO?!
    Thanks bro.

    • ANSWER:
      suicide is the answer


How To Treat Social Anxiety In Teenagers

Written By: admin - Jun• 11•12

It's hard enough being a teenager without having to deal with an anxiety condition. When adolescent anxiety becomes a problem your teen's life can become a living nightmare. It physically hurts. And It hurts you and your spouse, and the children in your family.

You see, anxiety problems affect the entire family, it's not just your teenager's problem, it's a family problem. Teenagers that have anxiety problems tend to have depression, they are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and they tend to have low self-esteem.

As an aside, it's important to consider that anxiety and depression have genetic components so it's entirely possible that one of your other family member's is also at a very high risk of having anxiety attacks or developing them later in life.

Knowing that, don't you think it's time to educate yourself and learn all you can about the condition and how to treat it?

Yes, medications can work, for some people. But, the simple truth is that medications do have fairly serious side effects and they do not treat the underlying cause of the disorder. The underlying cause of adolescent anxiety is a nervous system and brain which are not balanced and functioning properly. What needs to happen is that your teenager needs to find that balance again, and actually being to heal their nerves and brain.

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    How to treat Social Anxiety in teenagers?
    I am moving to a new school soon, I want to change

    • ANSWER:

  2. QUESTION:
    Can teenagers suffer seperation anxiety from their parents?
    I'm 16 and have a really hard time being away from my Mum or even out of my house. I dont go to school anymore because I hate leaving and get really nervous and anxious. Whenever I go out shopping if the place gets really clustered I go straight home. I have also noticed I cant be away from my Mum. I dont have a social life anymore so i stay home on weekends to be with her and I even have troubles sleeping by myself coz I'm scared she'll stop breathing in her sleep or something crazy. I get extremelly stressed out when she goes out with friends or to the shops coz I'm scared something will happen to her and I'll be alone. I'm pretty sure I might have seperation anxiety. How is this treated and can teenagers even get it? I thought only young children suffered? I dont know if its relevent but I was also sexually abused during my childhood and I only live with my mother and not my father.

    • ANSWER:
      It sounds like you have some form of an anxiety disorder coupled with agoraphobia. This is not normal and if you don't get treatment it will negatively impact the rest of your life. I highly recommend seeking out a child psychologist immediately. You can overcome this, especially since you are so young.

      God Bless!

  3. QUESTION:
    I'm almost 15..and I have been depressed. I want to get treated for social anxiety, a nose job, and to move?
    i'm a freshman in high school. i am not a dumb, over dramatic teenager. i really want to be happy, but i don't know how to find the courage to do the things i want in order to be happy.

    a few months ago, i found out what social anxiety is. i'll try to keep this short and not go into too much detail, but i have had VERY bad social problems and nervousness my entire life. it was at its worst point in 6th grade, and i've gotten better since then. but i am still not able to do things i want. right now my social anxiety probably does not seem terrible to my mom, because recently i've been going to some parties and i've been hanging out with my friends. she doesn't see how hard it is for me. i am not close with my mom at all. so it's EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY hard for me to bring it up to my mom. i have no idea how to ask. i just can't.

    second thing is, i want to move to a different city SO badly. i want to move FAR. far away from my friends. and i'm sick of the crappy weather and crappy people. but i'm not sure if i should just drop it. but i don't want to. plus, i think i should take care of the social anxiety thing first. because what if i move, and i am miserable because i am shy and i can't make friends?

    third thing. i know this is going to sound superficial, but i want a nose job. i am really set on it. i have wanted one for YEARS. my nose does not have just a little bump. it's huge and makes me ugly. everyone comments on it. i avoid taking pictures because of it. i am not confident in my physical appearance at all because of my nose.

    i feel like the root of all my problems is the social anxiety thing. i don't know if i have it. i feel very strongly about it, and i want to tell my mom. but you have no idea how terrifying the idea of telling her sounds to me. i can picture myself in my head asking her. but once i'm around her, it's totally different, and i get nervous around her.

    i get very depressed. whenever i have a problem i think i can fix, i fix it. but these things are all permanent and they're on my mind everyday. i don't know what to do.

    :(

    • ANSWER:
      First of all, try and develop a relationship with your mom. I understand if she gets on your nerves or whatever, but she is probably one of the best friends you will ever have. She knows you better than anyone, and you're probably a lot more like her than you realize. Secondly, you don't need to move until you get over this social anxiety. Don't be shy, most people don't bite. lol... trust me, I used to be shy and one of the quietest people you'd ever meet, but as I grew up, I realized how much happier I could be if I just opened up a little. Thirdly, I know what you mean, I don't like my nose either. But, God made you the way you are for a reason.. and there is someone out there who thinks you're beautiful just the way you are & loves you unconditionally.

      You really sound like you just need someone to talk to. Don't bottle your feelings up, or eventually, you'll basically explode. I hope things work out and get better for you.

  4. QUESTION:
    How do people with social anxiety deal with highschool? lm considering drop out, PLEASE HELP?
    highschool is all about socializing.. l am having such a hard time. l am absent at least twice a week, my teachers are demanding why lm absent so much and some just dont bother anymore. my my anxiety is only really bad in school, lm still anxious in public but not as much as in school. at least in the real world l am not teased and people are not as immature and people dont care what you look like in some aspects, but in highschool its all about looks (which is very bad for me because l am ugly) actually l still get teased by random people on the streets about my looks which makes me hate being in public so much. l hate being around teenagers, if l see a group of teenagers l run the other way. Girls always roll their eyes up and down at me like they are better than me or something and some guys give me dirty looks and treat me worthless. it feels nerve wrecking to be in a classroom, especially in one of my last classes l have those loud outgoing people and lm scared they will pick on me or call me ugly because this has been happening all my life l just want it to stop. My heart literally skips a beat when we are assigned groups or l have to pick a partner. l skip a lot of those classes and usually go home and cry. l hate it. l cant take being in school any longer, this is the second highschool l transferred to and l l still get treated bad. l cant stand showing my ugly face there and getting picked on for it. to be ignored and treated so badly because of it hurts and l dont feel human anymore. l want to drop out and get a GED but my mom wont let :/ it got so bad l yelled and cried at her for it and have not gone to school in 3 days. l feel so ashamed of myself. But l cant stand those horrible people never l have met so many cruel people in my life, treating me like trash and teachers too... who do they think are? heartless. l want to move away to another country and start all over and remove the bad memories.l am 16 year old girl sophomore in highschool and its make me numb l now have a negative view of life and see no point anymore. l hate myself so much because this also hurts my mom and l dont like seeing her hurt.

    there is no online schooling available around here and l cant do homeschooling my mom is not a teacher my other option is to get home instructed which is where l get a psychiatrist note saying l cannot attend for my anxiety but l dont think the psychiatrist would let me though, because she is supposed to help me not avoid it so lm stuck. But really the only really bad anxiety l get is in school and around snobby teenagers. Please help me l feel so scared, sad, and l dont know what to do anymore :( did anyone experience this? when you are treated unfairly by a lot of people you just start to loose motivation.
    l also have no friends either and lm usually ignored so picking partners is terrifying especially since most people there are snobby and gangster wannabes

    • ANSWER:

  5. QUESTION:
    I feel as if i may have social anxiety. Help?
    I am begginning to think i may have anxiety. Not in the sense that i am afraid to go outside or anything, i have no irrational fears of anything material. But when it comes to social interactions i have begun to step back and realize that some of my actions are abnormal. I am NOT afraid to talk to strangers, i guess you could say i honestly feel safer with strangers because i know i will probably never see them again. But when it comes to talking to other kids at school, i freeze up, and almost become reclusive. I have noticed that i probably do this because i feel as if i have some sort of impression to make on my peers. I get so caught up in the image i dont want to convey, that i dont think about the image i do want to convey, so i essential do nothing in social situations i am not 100% comfortable with. When i am comfortable with the people around me i have no problem letting loose and being myself. Also i feel as if i should mention that i dont get stage fright. I really cant explain why not though. Also, when it comes to relationships with girls, i tend to overthink things. One text message/call/word can mess me up because i take almost everything as a sign. And i have noticed that i have whats refered to in the psychological world as "defense mechanisms"-I have watched myself sabotage a relationship, or convince myself that i hate the other person, just to keep myself from getting hurt. Lately, realizing that my social life is becoming less and less existant, has been putting me through small fits of depression. Sometimes i get too wrapped up in my own head and just become overly negative, and sometimes i feel disconnected, but other times i feel just fine. Sometimes when im feeling (what i think is) deppression, i want to talk to a psychiatrist but as i am only 17 years old, this would involve discussing these feelings with my parents before they would schedule an appointment. The reason i dont want to do this is because i dont want to break the status quo of my relationship with my parents. I dont want them to view me as weak or sensitive, and then change the way they treat me.

    Is there anything at all that anyone can tell me? Like how to get over this? Or if i really should be talking to someone?

    Also, i have never even thought of suicide, and i never have feelings of hopelessness, so i may be mistaking what i think is depression for something else.

    Does anyone know if this is perhaps just part of being a teenager? Something i can get over and grow out of?

    Also, is it abnormal for one to be this conscious of ones own actions and psyche, but still be unable to change them?

    Thanks in advance.

    • ANSWER:
      IM EXACTLY LIKE YOU...hi-5!!!!
      Anyways do u have a role model? Someone thats very social? Well maybe you could try beung like them. Talking to someone wont hurt, so you could try in baby steps.

  6. QUESTION:
    Is there sex therapy for someone who has been without intimacy?
    Because of extreme shyness and social anxiety, I have made it all the way into my 30s and remained a virgin? Are there any therapies to treat that or any therapists who can specialize in that area? How would any future woman be ok, with my lack of experience and a lack of past relationships, meaning I am as clumsy and awkward as a newbie teenager?

    • ANSWER:
      There are sex therapists, or therapists that can help you out - give it a try

  7. QUESTION:
    How can I deal with what my mother says to me?
    I'm a teenager, and I have a sister who has a learning disability and social anxiety. My mother treats her like she's never done anything wrong in her life and lets her get away with everything. She doesn't make her do her homework or be considerate of others or anything. On the contrary, my mother harps on me for everything I do. I don't think I'm that bad of a kid. I don't go to partys or go out on dates. I get all a's, I hang out with a great group of kids, I'm involved with a lot in school, and I volunteer on a daily basis. She constantly tells me that I'm mean and that I have a horrible personality. She comments on every little flaw in my appearance. Sometimes I get mad at my sister, but I don't curse at her or get physical with her, and isn't that what siblings do? They fight sometimes? Anyways, the constant put downs she gives me don't do any good. I already have incredibly low self esteem; I have horrible anxiety issues I've never told anyone about; I'm depressed a lot of the time, but my parents don't believe in depression as an illness so I don't tell them, I'm anorexic, and I'm a closeted bisexual who's too afraid to come out to them because they don't believe bisexuality is a real orientation. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about her put downs. If I try to reason with her she says I'm being rude and talking back. Do I just take them? Do I ignore them? Do I confront her? I know that she's probably right about me in some regards, but I don't know how much longer I can take this and not break down. please help?

    • ANSWER:
      i'm in a somewhat similar situation although i'm not really the obedient one in my family but i do get depressed sometimes and the ones i turn to are my bestfriends. those that do not judge but just listens to all my rants and hurt so that when my mom throws me her words, i would no longer have all those bottled up emotions. good luck.

  8. QUESTION:
    I have some pretty bad problems with my mother?
    Seriously, there's no winning with the woman. Her mother is abusive. And now she is abusive, in some of the same ways. Yet she seems to think that it's okay, since she's "not as bad as her mother". We have some serious problems, especially with communication. First off, I'm a teenager. 14-16. My parents have been divorced since I can remember, and I live with my mother and her husband. (Who I have a bad relationship with as well.) They have two kids, who are both way younger than me. I only get to visit my father every other weekend, and I'd rather live with him honestly. I hate living with my mom. Her husband is rude to me as is she. He also moves a lot, and soon, she is moving to a state far away. I do not want to move with her. I have serious social anxiety issues, and I'm finally getting used to the school I go to now.

    Anyway, on to the problems with my mother. She gets child support every month. She has stated that she does not need it, because my stepfather makes enough to support all of us. I know for a fact that she is not spending this money on me, and any time she has to spend a lot of money on me, she demands that my dad pay half, or if its something thats not too major, she acts very irritated and asks why I don't ask my dad to buy those things. (Keep in mind I only see my dad every other weekend.. So I dont understand how this is practical in any sense, when I live with her most of the time and she gets 300 dollars a month specifically for me.) She is constantly getting onto me about not helping her when I have a weekly chore schedule, not to mention, in addition to those chores, I also do other things without being asked. (Which she used to complain about me not doing things without being asked.) It's like no matter what I do, she still complains. She overall treats me as a burden, and she has told my aunt before that she treats me the way she does because she feels like its equal to how I'm treating her?... I do not treat her any way like how she does to me, mainly because of the trouble I can get into. I do have an attitude occasionally, but compared to how most teenagers are, it's NOTHING. And it's only when she's being rude to me. She is neglecting me and has refused to buy things that I NEED several times. She wont even pay for lunch at school. I asked her nicely and she didn't. It gets to the point where I'm scared to ask her for anything.

    By the time I escape to my fathers on the weekend, I am so stressed, and sometimes being around her makes me want to hurt myself just to escape her for a little while. I'm not trying to be dramatic at all, I really have considered this several times.

    What the hell should I do?

    • ANSWER:
      She's always gonna be your mother. I've had serious issues with her all of my life and i'm 20 and I still do. There are some things I will never forgive or forget. But she's your mother. One day you'll be moved out and look back and see what you had gone through. One day she will understand and you will too. I'm taking that same advice for myself as well.

  9. QUESTION:
    Unless you have experience involving depression,anxiety, trauma etc you have no place being a counselor?
    Do you agree or disagree? I had counselors in my time who just didn't have the emotional depth or the experience to understand me at all. The worst are the middle aged ones who've been successfully put through the system and lived normal happy lives. Nice childhood, good school, university, marriage, kids, good respectable job working with "troubled" young people.

    They have NO clue. They have no experience with domestic violence, drugs, suicide, self harm, etc, except the role play experiences they've done, and talking to other "troubled" young people. And many of them used to treat me like I was less intelligent than them because I came from a different background, they talked to me like I was a small child. Many doctors gave me pills I didn't need (while denouncing drug use as they handed me the prescription). And many tried to find some "cause" for the way I was. Sorry, I have no bombshell to drop. I was never raped or witness to a brutal murder. Or the used my "upsetting" background as the cause, when plenty of people I know went through all the same things I did and never developed depression or problems.

    While I was going through this, there was a girl in my school (the 15 year old version of the middle class success story), This girl was judgmental, sheltered, innocent in the extreme, no people skills. She was afraid to come to my house because of where I lived, had no clue when it came to drugs, self harm, domestic abuse, working class culture, etc. Her mummy shouted at her once, and this girl used a steak knife to make one measly attention seeking scratch on her arm.

    This made her think. She wanted to help troubled teenagers like her. She wanted to be a counselor! She even admitted the scratch (and I mean like a scrape from a cat) was to upset her mother. She had no scope. And she couldn't "read" people, if you know what I mean by that.

    Eventually I got sick of her ramblings about how depressed she was (bull, she was a self centered brat who had been brought up to think she was absolutely wonderful and believed it) and how horrific (her) self harm ordeal had been I showed her the recent 80 or so mm deep gashes in my arm, and she was horrified, absolutely horrified, disgusted, gobsmacked and thought I was "crazy". Yup the same reaction some of the adult versions of her gave me.

    I haven't seen her in years, but the thought that girl is now on her way to being a counselor, scares me. Why are we letting this happen to our kids? Letting severely depressed or abused children be looked after and "counseled" by these people!

    Like the cases of baby P and various other children, who's social workers and such were incompetent idiots who thought it would be "lovely" to help children for a living, but didn't spot the abuse and neglect going on right under their own noses!

    My aunt works with kids in a school as a class room assistant, and she can spot the warning signs for an abuse case miles away, having been their herself, she gets these children's trust and helps them. Often teachers don't notice anything wrong until she notifies the principle who in turn notifies them. Sadly she just doesn't have the money to advance her career. It all makes me so angry!

    What are your opinions on all this?
    Do you agree or disagree? I had counselors in my time who just didn't have the emotional depth or the experience to
    understand me at all. The worst are the middle aged ones who've been successfully put through the system and lived normal happy lives. Nice childhood, good school, university, marriage, kids, good respectable job working with "troubled" young people.

    They have NO clue. They have no experience with domestic violence, drugs, suicide, self harm, etc, except the role play experiences they've done, and talking to other "troubled" young people. And many of them used to treat me like I was less intelligent than them because I came from a different background, they talked to me like I was a small child. Many doctors gave me pills I didn't need (while denouncing drug use as they handed me the prescription). And many tried to find some "cause" for
    the way I was. Sorry, I have no bombshell to drop. I was never raped or witness to a brutal murder. Or they used my "upsetting" b
    something went wrong adding details plus not enough space, so

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100726004120AA57JOs

    For my answers to what Alex and beauty D had to say

    • ANSWER:
      I completely agree with you but how will the world develop this thought of process how do we get those whom have experienced such traumatising events to believe in them self enough to complete the required degree.. i am currently studying a bachelor of law social science and psychology, i seem to also be surrounded by troublesome events as well as being involved in a broken home and so on, for this reason i believe i will be more successful then someone who has learnt such symptoms and behaviours from a book because i know i will be able to genuinely help and understand the patient.

      I can truly go one for ever but this is not the place, the class room works better :)

  10. QUESTION:
    Teenager really in need of a little advice/support or help, (Depression)?
    Hi, Again i must state that the world is just too fast moving to give me any time to sit down and truley take the time to talk about how i feel, and i only have 4000 odd characters left!
    I am 16 years old and struggling with severe Generalized/Social Anxiety Disorder, Joined with Depression/ Adhd & brief Psychotic episodes. I am now being diagnosed with a Personality Disorder. It Pains me to be saying this all at aged 16. My life is really a living nightmare at the moment. My Psychiatrist has told me there is only so much he can do where he is concerned, and looked blankly in my face, he has treated me for two years, tried me on a cocktail of medications, and frustratingly changed and mixed around with them trying to find positive results as if i was a Lab testing rat. I know that along the lines of starting all this i fell dependant to them, and i have tried going off them and weened of my last scripts over the last few months, and it is a sheer nightmare, i hate my waking moment, i feel unstable, like i really am going to be driven to do something as every single day more and more pain just loads into my mind and head. My life has always been wild, my last few teenage years have been the wildest, following a Typical story of a teenager with real bad esteme issues, that then developed into self hate, and that self hate drove me to change head to toe in personality/style/attitude/voice tones/activities, everything. it was the classic Nobody to "Cool Kid" transformation, that involved a turbulant mixture of Law trouble/School trouble/Drugs and Alcohol/Friends/Family trouble/tattooing/Sexual Abuse/Fighting/getting Bullied ... (*sigh*) You get the picture? .. Now nearly 4 years on from when i stared my life changing path.. i am just destroyed. i know all about the Drink/Drugs clouding my mind etc, i also feel extremley bad for writing this now, as if im going to get shouted at for writing it or something.. it probably seems like nothing, and i seem like some nobody, i just basically want some person on this earth just to give me a little nudge of hope or something!!!.. Im getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy once every 2 weeks, im with a drugs clinic and im on Beta Blockers for anxiety.. (which do zilch!) im scared going to doctors again.. or anyone for advice, its just i just feel like i irritate everyone, and that everyone rolls there eyes when they see me coming asking for help.. My anxiety is so severe at the moment i cant even walk out the door to go to college now.. im so terrified, i ran out of my college the last time sweating and crying, the only times i can go to college are if im either Stoned or on Diazepam or something. i spent a good year on medication without therapy.. so very quickly i grew to relying on the medication.. i ended up doubling doses of diazepam and needing to constantly up my dose, until i was near on 25Mg of it in the first few hours of the morning, i really cannot stem my anxiety alone, whenever i am not on any anxiolytic, i just have this burning ball of -i think Anxiety.. its gut wrenching, like the worlds strongest cramp, and i flush all over. im cold and bitter to be around, i get impulses every time, when im at home to just smack my head against a wall or take a blade to my skin, i really am hanging on by a thread.. im so sorry every1 for writing this, and just bringing every1s moods down and generally probably frustrating people.. but i dont know who to turn to now, My Phsyciatrist "dosent know what to do ", anymore, My parents just cannot bare to handle me anymore, they are worried sick aswell. everything in general is driving me insane. i dont know how much longer i can sit this out, because thats what it just feels like. i cant be on sedatives all day everyday. but i sure as hell know that at least when i am on them, i can get about and do my daily life business, such as go to an education, without shivering with fear as i pass people feeling like a doormat. Sorry & Thanks guys ..
    BTW... THANKS EVERY1.. THESE ARE REALLY HELPFUL ANSWERS... I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET TO LEVEL TWO YET SO I CAN RATE THEM! LOL. ill tackle my life first i think before working that 1 out!! THANKS (Y) x

    • ANSWER:
      Hey man, I almost know how you feel. Although I'd definitely say that you've got it worse than I.
      For me I just feel alone in the world. I get sick of people's crap and worthless opinions and just last night all I wanted to do is punch my hand through a window b/c pain seemed to be the only thing that is truly real.

      First I'd like to start by saying that medication is probably not a good thing in this condition. The last thing you need is to be addicted. I just watched Requiem For A Dream, it's a pretty rough movie all about addiction. And it's probably the worst thing that could happen to someone, aside from death.

      Second, I'd say that writing may help. I hate poetry but when I'm in rage mode I write out what I'm feeling. It sounds kind of cheesy but the blank paper isn't gonna tell you that you're wrong, it's gonna understand you.

      Thirdly, I don't know if you are or are not being honest with everyone, but if you're not then you definitely should be. Keeping it bottled up like me may cause you to become a bit loopy. Telling everyone exactly how you feel, regardless of the consequence, should help quite a bit. I should probably work on this myself, I've always wanted a therapist for this reason.

      Also, I don't know if you've found the miracle or marijuana or not, but it helps me. Makes me feel real good. I'd say that you have good reason for medical marijuana and I personally think that it would help you. If you're unsure about it just do some research, it's really not unhealthy for you, especially if you don't smoke it. It's definitely more healthy than these prescription pills.

      And for people like us I think we both find that "God" is non-existent. If you wish to know my reasoning send me an email and I'll give you hundreds of reasons. Either way it's your decision.

      I guess the biggest thing you need is a revolution of life. You need a big change, for the better of course. You need to find your greatest inner passion and pursue it at all costs.
      I don't know if you like to read, but some of the greatest self-help books are The Power of Now and A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle has helped a crap ton of people, just look them up.

      Hope at least some of this helps you in the long run, you just gotta keep on chuggin' along. Ride out the storm, find the people that are like yourself. I'm also 16 and what I've learned is that at this age, real friends are close to non-existent. I've got no real friends, plenty of friends though, but I wouldn't jump into traffic for any of them.

  11. QUESTION:
    I'm worried about a friend, any suggestions?
    I've been very observant of my friend lately and even though she has social anxiety I think there's more than that.
    She has the traits of social anxiety but I also think she might have traits of another personality disorder but I don't know whether I'm right or not and I need abit of advice.

    (Just a note, I to have been diagnosed with Social anxiety so I know what it's like and the symptoms and writing this is very hard for me, and I am really scared and nervous right now but I really want to help my friend as that's what they do right?).

    With social anxiety she is extremely shy, she hates large groups of people, she struggles to talk to people even her friends (me being her closet) and such.. even freaking out over going into a store so as a good friend I'm constantly helping her even though she finds it hard to open up to be and can't trust anyone which I understand.

    But I have gotten her to talk abit and as I mentioned I've been observant.
    I think she has a schizotypal personality disorder or something similar to that but I'm really unsure. She is a rather depressed girl (at age 16) as when she was younger (10-11) she was diagnosed with depression.
    She's always been depressed and really negative. Other symptoms I have found she's always alone and prefers it that way, she closes up and tries to exclude herself from her friends. (Everyone else doesn't like her). She is always very uncomfortable around people except her direct family.
    Her mother has told me she's always been strange/eccentric all through out her life. So she has a very eccentric personality and behavior which I have observed for myself.
    She has a different way of learning, and has this thing with the number '6' she only like things with the number six and has to do or have everything in sixes. Such as her favourite color is purple, her favourite fruit is an orange, she's changed her 7 letter name into 6 (getting rid of a letter).
    She likes to make pictures out of patterns and textures like she has these weird textured curtains and she points out people or animals... she also has to constantly be moving or fidgeting, she can't hold still at all.
    She has very little friends, she's never been in a relationship and finds it difficult and uncomfortable around family members that aren't direct (her mum, and her sister).
    She has beliefs in magical thinking, and she's mentioned about her day dreaming (which she does alot) that she has supernatural powers. She is also very superstitiousus and claims she can control minds.
    She gets along with animals very well. Her pet cat is her best friend, and I've seen her talk to him as if he were human and treat him better than her own sister.
    Her sister told me how she's constantly light-headed and collapsing. Also that often she has feelings people are touching her... a couple examples, she often feels as if someone is giving her injections in the exact same arm in the same place and also one time she walayingng on her bed and felt as if a person was rather trying to give her a neck/shoulder massage or trying to dig her into her bed pushing her down.
    Which I find rather odd.
    She doesn't show much emotion, but every once and awhile when she's around me she can become really hyper-active but as I said only around me. She is rather paranoid she's constantly worrying about things happening such as tsunamis, fires, robberies, rape, and such things as that and even people stealing her stuff. She dresses oddly, even though she's more 'gothic' she has an extremely sense of style which is rather hard to explain... she's always wearing things that don't much or are really over the top weird. Being a teenager it's sort of common to have sexual thinking. But she doesn't as soon as someone mentions anything 'sexual' she becomes very uncomfortable and she avoids thsubjectct. She is really vain (her zodiac sign being Aquarius and Chinese zodiac being a rooster) but she still hates the way she looks and she can't accept compliments (which I'm guessing is part of the social anxiety).

    I am very worried about her, as I don't have anough time to tell you everything these are the major things I have noticed and found out.
    Do you think she has more than social anxiety? What should I do? I really care about her and want to help her and as she's moving away in a few months I can't always be there for her and I'm worried what's going to happen when she moves.

    Anyone know what I can do to help? Or are these things not as big a deal as I'm making it?

    • ANSWER:
      IMO..there's a lot going on here:-( And unfortunately only SHE can go in and get a diagnosis.Personally,yes,I think there's more than just SAD going on.
      If you guys are really close like that,then here's something you *could* do,if YOU think she will handle it well/not be offended so to speak.

      I'd go on some sites(Google something like "Mental Health Self Diagnosis" or similur) where you can enter-in symptoms(a list of symptoms),and see what you can pull up,print out a copy and give it to her...maybe if SHE can "see herself" in a certain disorder(s),then that will encourage her to get the proper diagnosis/medication/ect.

      I do not know any site-names/links..but I do know they have these types of sites.

      That's about all I can think of hun,I mean you could talk to her family too...but I think offering HER something in black-and-white might do more.

      Just keep in mind,nothing is 100%,not the tests...not even DOCTORS sometimes..they can be wrong too,that's why it's so imporatnt for her to seek atleast ONE,if not MORE THAN ONE opinion.

      Good Luck!

      James...you didn't read the whole post..never said NOT to see Doc..said START w/a test to SHOW the friend...to encourage her to GO get help ;-)

  12. QUESTION:
    Someone please help me out ?!?
    so my name is luka and im 16 years old , male. i must say i ahve suffered from depression numerous times and well this time, i fear it is coming back. im in grade 12 and it seems like everything was going well until now. in grade 11,, i probably had the best time of my life becasue it was the only year i was free from depression, i had close friends, had people that respected me, had good marks, and just loved life. the summer that year was also the best. i hung out with my friends all the time, and looking back at it now, im so shocked about how much i grew as a person and how much people actually wanted to hang out with me. i had an amaizng summer, i become real good friends with my friend ( lets call his nathan) . now nathan and i were exactly alike , and we were the ytype to care about how we looked, just overall, were " very european" in which we both were, i am spanish and he is romanian. i was happy to have one good friend. idk what it was but grade 12 hit and everything colllapsed :( idk what cause dit or what happened, ibut i have relaized that i became much more quiet, boring, and just overall different

    it seemed like i was snapped back into reality where everything is different. i really wanted to go back to the summer where people asked me to hang out , instead of me asking them. people ignored me now, made plans behind my back, and i was just left alone ;(. throughout the summer, i smoked drank, and did everything a basic teenager doesand idk why but when shcool hit i definetly felt dumber and i immeditaly dropped all social life and focused on school, and that made things worse. my good friend nathan, even though hes a year younger and so he dont care so much about school,, started to never ask me to chill or anything . i feel like a total loser now and i dont know what casued it :( was it me, was it just the fact that it was sumemr? idk what it was but i first thought it was the fact that i called cold turkey on drugs and alcohol cuz those really helped with my social anxiety.

    i definetly did feel " differnt" maybe just my whole body chemistry changed cuz as i am a late bloomer, and i still have a lot of growing to do. maybe its just my body and mind changing, but i hate it ! now , when i actualy have the rare occasion of hanging out with them, they treat me like an outcast, everything i say or do i get made fun of. if lets say i had to get a drink or go to the bathroom, they never wait and bail :( . we were at an amusment park recently, and i told them i had to call my mom and that id be back, they left me there alone, and later they forgot that i even left:( that really hurt, even my good friend nathan didnt even give a crap.

    what happened? what can i do to have the friends back that i had in grade 11 aand the summer !. it is me , is it them? what should i do. :( it is my last year and i feel so lonely, everything i worked to get is all lost. i thought i was done with depression and now its all back :( my frineds always ditch me and everything. evne though now i have gotten to a poitn where i have found who i am as a person and what i strive to be , my whole social life is broken, and the sad thing is, i have no idea why it happened ;(

    • ANSWER:
      were you on meds during your period of depression? do you feel like you changed aside from focusing more on your studies? did you notice yourself w/drawing from the crowd or were you feeling isolated and lonely while having friends around?

  13. QUESTION:
    Mom's moved in and surprise...it's not working out.?
    Long story short, my mother moved up from Atlanta because she was laid off. My sister and her husband let her stay with them for about a month and it was a disaster. Didn't surprise me, I saw it coming. She then asked my brother if she could stay with him as a result of the situation with my sister and he basically said no (according to mom, he didn't say "yes" immediately so she took it as a no. my brother didn't want mom there but didn't know how to tell her). Now one would think that me and my siblings are evil and should welcome mom with open arms. A bit of background info: My mother had 5 of us. She was a wonderful mother until it got tough...when we all became teenagers. Again, long story short, my mother was extremely selfish and immature, kicking me, my brother and my sister out when we got too tough to handle using the phrase "It's either gonna be me or y'all and it ain't gonna be me." My mom wonders why we're less than excited to let her in.

    Anyway, I decided to let her move in and to my surprise, she's not a bad roommate. She basically keeps to herself, she's almost never in the way and she does the dishes every night. Heck, she even makes pancakes some mornings. Problem is my wife. My wife suffers from bi-polar and social anxiety disorder. Add to that the fact that my mom isn't actively looking for work after finding out she isn't eligible for unemployment, the situation's becoming a little tense. My mother feels entitled to certain things like asking me to run errands and it's driving my wife crazy. Don't get me wrong, it bothers me that my mom still doesn't get that she was selfish when I was a teenager but my wife is really overreacting to everything. Let me make this clear: I DO NOT BUY MY MOM'S EXCUSES AS TO WHY SHE'S NOT LOOKING FOR WORK. But my wife seems to think I do. I haven't made excuses or defended my mother not one time (and that's the truth) but my wife treats me like I'm enabling her. I even went as far as to tell my mom the first night she was here that if a disagreement ensues between her and my wife, I'm taking my wife's side whether my wife is right or wrong...and I said this to her in front of my wife!

    Any advice?

    • ANSWER:
      Do you feel that the disagreeing attitude from your wife towards your mother is due to her bipolar?? As those with bipolar DO NOT like change nor authority figures, along with crowds, etc.

      I suggest a "family meeting"...where that you explain that your mom will need to work at least something part time. That errands are to be ran by the person needing them. It sounds as if cleaning and cooking are NOT an issue which is good.

      Explain to you wife in private, that you want to be a better son than your mother raised. So that it will also help you be a better husband and future father as well.

      Best of "luck"

  14. QUESTION:
    How can I make new friends?
    I am friendly to everyone and I have never done anything to upset people. But a lot of my friends in the past have forgotten me..

    I do not fit into any stereotype at college; I am just the average teenager. I’m a little more confident than used to be but still feel very shy around people. I am not sure how to start a good conversation. I always try to be myself around people, but most of the time I get ignored and no one speaks to me. I often feel isolated and find it hard relating myself to others. A lot of people at college say I am nice and easy to talk to, but none of them really want to get to know me. I understand the importance of being yourself and not changing to impress others.
    Most friendships I have end with my friend leaving me. I don’t understand what i’m doing wrong.

    I’ve been bullied a lot in the past and although it has stopped now this has had an effect on my self esteem and I suffer from social anxiety.
    I have a twin sister and both of us do not really have any proper friends. People do not treat us as individuals.

    Anyone got any ideas how I could meet new people? Would it be wise for me and my sister to be more independent and not rely on each other so much? Or try to boast confidence? Thank you. :)

    • ANSWER:
      I also deal with social anxiety, and I know how hard it is to deal with, trust me. And I agree that you should Try to be independent from your twin sister. If you want more people to come up and talk to you, then this is what I would do: roll ur shoulders back and have a pleasant expression on your face if you dont want to smile. Have a relaxed position while still sitting up tall, if that makes sense. Sometimes though people aren't ever going to talk to you if you wait every single time for them to approach you. Take he initiative and walk up to them. The key to having a good conversation is remember good posture, relaxed nature, and a pleasant facial expression. Before you approach them however, keep in mind some good topics that you know they will answer to. Compliment them on their shirt or where they got it (make sure the compliment is genuine though because people can tell when a compliment is fake) or for example if you are in art, ask s question on how to do this and this. Or if you are going someplace new just ask someone where the place you want to go is. Things like that really help
      And for the confidence thing, these tips should help you. But u can't just gain self confidence overnight it takes time. When ever you feel extremely anxious, your body starts to worry so much that your breathing gets less and less. This adds even more worry than you already have. So take a deep breath and go for it. Hope I could help:)

  15. QUESTION:
    How to stop feeling anxious and depressed of highschool? lm terrified of going tomorrow?
    l know l sound like another whiny teenager. but this is seriously taking a toll on my mental health. l have had so many bad experiences in highschool that l will never forget. like l had this stupid mean preppy blonde girl slam papers on my desk and give me dirty looks because l do not fit her standard of beauty. that made me so angry but l said nothing because l have no esteem and cant stand up for myself. l had a boy who l thought liked me ignore me and made me feel like crap. in group work he only talked to these other girls so easily and looked into their eyes and never mines. its like l was not there l never felt so invisible in my life. People ignore me, think lm ugly and because of it they hate me so much its not like l can control how l look, people treat me so badly, no one talks to me, think lm a weirdo and l have no friends which l dont mind anymore. l am so depressed because of all this. l am heartbroken and l do not want to go school anymore. l dont get good grades, l have no motivation in my work.

    l have really bad social anxiety, l am always in constant fear every second in school, its mostly due to my appearance. In highschool looks are very important and if you are hideous forgot about having a great time there. People cringe at me and make nasty faces at me in the hallways and one time in class when the door was open l heard some jerks pass by saying "hey dude that girl is so ugly" people in my class heard it and started to laugh. my teacher closed the door out of pity for me. l wanted to die. l am a monster. l now skip a whole of lot of class, all this made me hate humanity and hate being around people. My mom wont let me drop out of school, there is no online schooling or homeschooling in my area and my mom cant do it anyway. l dont know what to do. l shake, almost vomit every morning and in class my breath is heavy and lm shaking. l need help, l feel like killing myself. l dont know what to do anymore, l am going insane. l feel like running away. l would rather die then face two more years of this hell. l am crying and shaking l do not want to go to school tomorrow l had enough of this. l want to drop out just get away from school, my heart hurts and l would rather eat needles than go through another day of highschool, that is how bad this is. what can l do? l am dead inside and it causing a great problem with my mom she is hurt that l hate school and she does not understand. why cant kids just be nice to one another? l can understand the people who shoot up schools, l feel like doing that all the time. please help is there any help l can get? l am desperate l cant live like this. is the real world really like this? is there any medication to help boost up my confidence and not make me anxious? what would you do?

    thanks so much sorry this was long l am a 16 year old girl a sophomore in highschool by the way

    • ANSWER:
      Ok,first of all i am a freshman in highschool.I go to a military academy.You shouldnt care what people think about you.Truth is high school is no fun without friends by your side.You feel more confident with friends.I suggest running away from it all and transferring to a new school.Everyone does that.Before you transfer build your confidence and buy makeup.Just think simple like eye liner.Not too much though or youll look depressed.Get a fresh start.If your already in your second year then its too late for change.(society).So,transfer.Please,dont think about suicide.your mom wouldnt want that.You would regret it later.Just think about a motivation like someone.Anyone.Dont let a bunch of snobby little brats decide your future for you.Theyll think they won.Theyll think they actually had affect on you.Theyll even continue doing it to someone else and harsher.Now,if you really are responsible you wouldnt let this happen.Youll regret ever thinking about something as silly as suicide.Does 2 years weigh more than the rest of your life.You really think 2 years of this shit is too much to go through than living life the way you want to for the rest of your life.Alot of celebs. and other everyday people have gone through this.You are not alone.Theres probably at least another kid in your school feeling the same way you do.Those popular kids in your school,how do you think they get to that status.They do a lot of things.Some not so great.Do you really think your missing out on a lot.They probably feel the same way every morning.They get tired of society,too.They just want to stay home too.You sound like a great girl with a lot of personality.Youll meet your guy one day not that punk who doesnt know what he wants.You are not ugly.Its insecurities getting to you.Insecurities coming from them that make you THINK you are ugly.YOU ARE NOT UGLY.If you want a first friend then we should talk.Please dont do something so stupid as to kill yourself.Also if you can show your mom this question because the way you put it in detail is so persuasive i think itd make your mom understand.

  16. QUESTION:
    Am I being bullied here or should I just get a life?
    I'm 25,semi-disabled and still live with my mom. The reason I'm semi-disabled is because I was psychologically and physically abused as a teenager and started to suffer from anorexia, depression,anxiety and self-harm. I seem to have an inability to assert myself in front of other people and mostly get treated either as some charity case who always has to 'obey' them or as a blank space.I sometimes feel like I don't belong to the human race and isolate myself as much as possible. I might be autistic,I don't know.My education was interrupted through my family moving abroad and fell apart while we were still there.So, though that year I was out of hospital and on my way to starting University I didn't end up going, as I had my mother to support emotionally and was also afraid of being left homeless between university terms if she became homeless.Later, a year on we were homeless and had to relocate to the Uk relying only on church help.
    Since then a year has passed and we are safe and I have even been making some small living as a freelance translator and been keeping my only real passion - poetry going.
    I suffer from too much anxiety though to feel that I'd be able to go out and look for a job,let alone keep one down.There's also the problem of being a foreigner and being told that I'mthat, because I was born in Russia and being told flat out that I"can'tbe British" even though I feel it and grew up here and am a British Citizen. It suddenly explains why no-one would talk to me while I was at school and gossiped about me behind my back. I just don't know how I would deal with colleagues at work, if I got one. I'd probably feel suicidal all the time as I did at school.
    To cut a long story short, my mom's friends have been criticising me for not making a proper living and not living independently or going to uni. It's got so bad that they've even tried to explain the facts of life about "living life correctly" to me in a car while asking me to give their kids german lessons. I'm touched that they see me as a capable human being but the fact is, I'm not.
    I also despise them for the fact that they are all academics who should be more intelligent than petty minded and not basically try to push me out onto homelessness just for not doing things their way because even my mom has been saying" oh I don't want to live with you any more."
    All i do is do translation,help with food and bills and write my poetry. I'm not some junkie or alchoholic criminal. I was afraid of moving out and going to uni when I had a place,actually,to the point of being suicidal,because I just realised I'd move out, be ostrasized and be completelly alone.
    As i always am. And then I'd forget to do things like eat, say..or to tidy my room,or earn money to pay bills..
    I'm fed up of people treating me as a waste of space and not allowing me to be myself.
    but at the same time, sure, I can imagine how strange it must seem to them to see a 25yr old living at home. But I forgot to say one more thing:I don't just self-harm.I pull my hair and am practically bald and don't even have money for a wig. Another reason for social anxiety, I guess.
    These friends of my mom's have the cruelty to tell me how to live after I was left HOMELESS last year. Seriously : I know that I have problems, but shouldn't they just get off my case???
    I wouldn't be able to live alone, seriously!

    • ANSWER:
      I think you need an advocate who knows your entire history both personal and medical, who can intercede for you with others when you are not able to do so. Since I am an American I don't know anything about the mental health system in Briton or what social services are available, but maybe you can research this online. If you cannot find anything you qualify for perhaps you can get a pastor or minister to act on your behalf. I don't think you need this pressure from your mother's friends who obviously don't know what they are talking about. I am somewhat surprised your mother is allowing these people to treat you this way but perhaps she is afraid of losing their support either emotionally or otherwise. In any case, it looks like you are going to have to take some steps yourself to obtain some support. While this may be difficult for you, the reward would be to get these people off your back and even perhaps on your side once someone whom they respect champions your cause. I think you should do this as soon as you possibly can as it might take a while to find someone, and then get them up to speed on your situation. Meanwhile, it looks like your situation at home is escalating and I don't see these people backing off on their own. Good luck to you.

  17. QUESTION:
    what's your opinion... i need some help?
    this is a sort of awkward question, anyway here goes. so i used to see a psychologist but stopped since i felt it wasn't going anywhere because i felt so ashamed with my issues. i have social anxiety, depression, bulimia and on and off anorexia. i hated talking about any of my problems because i felt i had no right to complain. i was never raped, or had any sort of dramatic life changing anything. i am just a girl who naturally has a few issues and i don't know why. my psychologist treated refugees who have been treated like animals when they arrived in the country, and women who have been beaten by their husbands, and people with really sad stories. i was scared i came across like a whining teenager who was too dramatic with no real issues. so i stopped seeing him.

    what do you think? do you think he would have thought the same thing but was too professional to say anything? do you think you only warrant sympathy/ help if you have been through a really hard life.

    no matter how raw my throat was from the bulimia or how weak i felt, or how anxious i felt i didn't think i deserved help because what the hell? i have an okay life with nothing to complain about. i don't know if this is just a rant or not but what is your take? do you think girls wo whine like me should just stfu because i have no real problem/ have never been through anything like a rape or abuse? can you still have issues if you haven't been through anything too bad?

    i know this is an off question and a little annoying. i just need some opinions because i just am confused. i don't know what i expect as an answer, just anything really, you're opinion?

    • ANSWER:
      Your question wasn't annoying at all. You need to care more about yourself, gain some self-confidence, and stop caring about what others think.

      Do you only feel selfish for asking for help if it's you asking, or would you think someone else who has an easy life but has issues is selfish too? I've had an easy life with plenty of opportunities and love and whatnot. But I suffer from social anxiety, depression, and other issues as well which have kind of ruined my life when it really didn't have to.

      Should I have gotten help to prevent all the damage that it caused, or would that have been selfish of me? I think that you would have wanted me to get better, and if that's the case, then it shows you have a low self-esteem and you aren't treating yourself the way you should. You need to be as good to yourself as you would someone else.

      The reason I should have gotten help, and you should get help, is because problems are only as real as they feel, and how much they interfere with your life. Someone with an objectively horrible life where they abused and live in terrible conditions can still be happy. It would be very hard and rare, but it's possible. Just like how someone with an objectively perfect life where they are loved and have a very easy life can be absolutely miserable. It's all about how *you* subjectively feel in your mind, not how your life's circumstances are.

      What you may also be afraid of is being those "whiney teens", whom of course exist. The problem with their behavior though isn't that they are troubled but things they shouldn't be, it's that they aren't *actually* deeply bothered by what they're complaining about. They typically just want attention and sympathy, which may be part of a personality disorder, which would mean it kind of isn't their fault, but that usually isn't the case; it's usually just their unappealing character. You are NOT like them, as your problems seem very genuine.

      So basically, if your problems do really bother you, which they seem to, you deserve to get help. You need to see your psychologist or a different one, and get the help that you deserve. If they don't understand what I've just explained, then they don't deserve their job at all, and you should change psychologists. I really doubt your average certified psychologist would think that, but psychologists are people too, and sometimes they're actually pretty idiotic. My friend has seen some pretty ignorant and pathetic mental health workers, so just try a different one if you don't get a good one. Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to find one that really helps.

      I hope you get better, and I hope you know that you deserve it.

  18. QUESTION:
    I'm wondering what should be done?
    I was always slightly detached from my parents as a young child; had a strong attachment yet didn't like being cuddled or talking about love and wouldn't hug or say I loved people growing up. I wasn't sure what love was until my grandfather died in my late teens. As a teenager, I was confused about why mothers like to rub and stroke their children's arms, backs and legs and found it weird and scary and got frightened by it because I didn't understand people's need for it. I was confused by social skills. The psychologist said he believes I have mild Aspergers but am a normal person and that this was caused by the severe anxiety disorder that I also have. My mother keeps trying to touch my arm and now that depression and anxiety are treated and post traumatic stress disorder, I am feeling ok instead of frightened by it. What I don't feel ok with is that my mother has always ignored my feelings in this respect. If I was uncomfortable, she would keep touching me wherever I felt uncomfortable. I realize now that this is because it is normal for people to keep trying to get close to people and that they don't always realize that something else is a bigger deal to overcome or change than for most people. I'm the one who is different. What bothers me is that I expressed how much it bothered me and she doesn't care and is trying to force me to be close physically. I'm not sure that I'm opposed to being closer now I feel sane, I do want relationships with people but I don't like feeling pressured. What should be said or done here so as not to be hurtful but to express a need for things to work out slowly? Would it be a good idea to see a counsellor?

    • ANSWER:

  19. QUESTION:
    can anyone help with this paper? pleaseee?!!!!!?
    I wrote a paper on depression in teens and it needs to be a eidtorial paper. I have no idea how to a write a editorial paper! can anyone fix it for me and make it an editorial paper!
    thanks !

    Being depressed not only affects the person being depressed but everyone who loves and cares about that person. Depression can lead to suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people aged 15 to 24. The most common reasons teens commit suicide is because they can’t get over their depression, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, or physical or verbal abuse by someone who they love or care about.
    Teen’s depression is a psychological condition that affects your feelings, behaviors and thoughts according to the center for young women’s health. Some symptoms of depression are you might not want to do anything, think things won’t get better, can’t concentrate or make your own decisions. Also depression can destroy the very essence of a teens personality causing an over whelming sense of despair, stress, anger or sadness.
    Unlike adults who most likely have the ability to seek assistance on their own. Teenagers usually must rely on relatives, parents or others to see their suffering and to get them the treatment they need to survive. One of every eight teenagers is depressed. Also affecting 17 million Americans and more then 100 million people each year. Also teen boys might not turn their depression into dangerous or violent behavior, nor to teen girls might they develop anorexia nervosa, a life, threatening eating disorder.

    Have you ever known someone who was depressed? If you think might have known or currently know someone, you might want to look out for these signs. The most common signs of depression in teens are lack of interest or pleasure in daily things, severe weight loss or weight gain, less sleeping or excessive sleeping, loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, difficulty in making choices, restlessness, stress, loss, trauma, anxiety, substance abuse, crying, anger, hopelessness, negativity, social isolation, talk of running away or efforts to, and thoughts or efforts to commit suicide.
    Depression is a mental illness, and can be diagnosed and treated. It is characterized by a profound or constant feeling of sadness, despair and/or a loss of interest in things one once liked. Everyone gets sad to upset every once in awhile but when feelings of sadness become to overcome everyday life and activities, that’s when it becomes serious. Major depressive disorders can last from two or more weeks if not months or years.
    There are ways to treat this. One way is therapy. When you go to therapy, you usually go once or twice a week depending on how bad you are, and you just sit and talk to a licensed therapist for an hour or two. The therapist helps them become aware of their patterns of thinking and how they become this way. Another way is antidepressants. These pills are supposed to help you be happier but from records, antidepressants have actually increased the suicide risk.

    As you can see, depression is a very serious disorder and needs to be known. Depression is not a thing that can just go away without getting help. Parents of depressed children need to know that they need to be calm with their children and help them get through this. I hope people become more aware of the effects of depression in teens.

    • ANSWER:
      Good paper, everything looks A-ok. Good luck!

  20. QUESTION:
    Can someone help me with my conclusion please!?
    Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses are worldwide to be thought of diseases that are “just in the head”. Even if that is true the patients know they are sick and they need help by taking medication or just talking to someone (depending on the severity). Though some medicines and anti-depressants have side effects, going untreated can be dangerous, and there are alternatives for treatment.
    Mental illnesses are among the most common conditions affecting health today: One in five American adults suffers a diagnosable mental illness in any six month period. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, though, some 90 % of these people will improve or recover if they get treatment. Psychiatrists and other physicians treating mental illnesses have a wide variety of treatments available today to help them help their patients. Most often, psychiatrists will work with a new patient to construct a treatment plan that includes both psychotherapy and psychiatric medication. These medications--combined with other treatments such as individual psychotherapy, group therapy, and behavioral therapy or self-help groups--help millions each year to return to normal, productive lives in his or her communities, living at home with loved ones and, continuing his or her work. (HealthyPlace, 2009)
    Psychiatric researchers believe that people suffering from many mental illnesses have imbalances in the way his or her brain metabolizes certain chemicals, called neurotransmitters. Because neurotransmitters are the messengers the nerve cells use to communicate with one another, these imbalances may result in the emotional, physical and intellectual problems that mentally ill people suffer. New knowledge about how the brain functions has permitted psychiatric researchers to develop medications which can alter the way in which the brain produces stores and releases these neurotransmitter chemicals, alleviating the symptoms of the illness. (HealthyPlace, 2009)
    There is an uprising use of anti-depressants in teenagers, and adolescence. Some believe the use of these medications is dangerous to the younger people but there are far worse penalties such as suicide. Suicide is a major concern even though it is hard to tell who will in fact kill themselves or who is just severely depressed. There are characteristics that identify those that are at risk; social isolation, stressful life events such as the loss of a loved one, financial problems or job loss. Depression, bipolar disorder and acute schizophrenic episodes are also major risk factors, and suicide is often associated with alcohol, or substance abuse. A history of previous attempts or a family member who has committed suicide should ring alarm bells. More women attempt suicide, but men are significantly more likely to be successful.
    There are some side effects of the medicines doctors prescribe, but the good outweighs the bad. In this table are the common medications used for depression.
    Selective Serotonin Reuptake InhibitorsOther AntidepressantsTricyclic Antidepressants
    FluoxetineBuprorionDesipramine
    SertralineTrazadonImapramine
    Paroxetine VenlafaxineAmitriptyline
    NefazodoneMaprotiline
    Doxepin
    Notriptyline
    Amoxapine
    Trimipramine

    Most side effects only last a few weeks then go away. Side effects of anti depressants are; nausea, increased appetite, or weight gain, sexual side effects, fatigue, insomnia, dry mouth, blurred vision, constipation, dizziness, agitation, restlessness, and anxiety; all which are treatable symptoms and are just a little hurdle when it comes to the recovery of depression. (MayoClinic, 2009) All anti depressants have warning labels. If he or she follow the instructions and be cautious of the warning signs they are safe.
    It is important that children have a thorough evaluation before he or she starts taking an antidepressant. This evaluation should include: A physical exam and a psychiatric exam by a psychiatrist, pediatrician or family doctor. The psychiatric evaluation should include: A detailed review of any potential risk factors a child may have that may make it more likely for him or her to engage in self-harm, an assessment of whether the child may have other mental illnesses such as anxiety disorders, attention-deficit or hyperactivity disorder and bipolar disorder, and an evaluation of whether there's a family history of mental illnesses or, suicide. (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2009)
    If one is still unsure about using prescription medication to treat mental illnesses there are alternatives such as herbal medication. The potential for treatment as well as increasing use of herbal medicine and psychiatric disorders patients wanting to use alternative treatment options have lead to the need for psychiatrists to become familiar with the effects of herbal medicines. Mental health professionals not only need to know what the herbs are but their contraindications, side effects and risks. Four of

    • ANSWER:
      The introduction and conclusion summarize the body of the essay. The conclusion may recommend some further areas to be addressed that are relevant to the subject matter.

  21. QUESTION:
    How do I get along with my mom? ?
    My mom and I are constantly fighting and of course, it's always my fault. I sometimes think that she is going to far with her harsh parenting, even if I don't listen. I wish she could understand me. Whenever we're fighting, I can't say a word to her, or else she will literally beat me with a weapon of some sort or just her hands, so it's impossible to let her know how I feel. I think that she is physically and emotionally abusing me, even if there was a reason to it.

    She criticizes me on everything for example, I wear a little makeup, she calls me a slut and says how ugly I look. My mom grew up with parents that beat her as well so she basically thinks that it's okay to use violence on me. She thinks that violence and screaming will solve everything. I wish she knew how it affected me mentally; it already caused me addiction to self injury, social phobia, depression, paranoia, anxiety, conduct disorder and whatnot.

    Also, when she treats me that way, it causes me to want to act even more badly then before and I don't know why. She makes me mentally unstable and basically ruins my teenage life. I want to have fun while I'm a teenager and so far, I have absolutely no friends, no one to trust and my life sucks DlCK.

    People keep telling me to live with a relative or call child services but I'm not in the situation to do that right now. So any suggestions on this matter?

    • ANSWER:
      Honestly what I would do is just do what she says, n sit there and take it, but if she try's to hit u or something fight back, you can't let people walk all over you, I'm sorry about your situation, my step mom hit me once n now I think she is scared of me because I am taller than her, so idk just tuff it out, life sucks I know I'm sorry lol

  22. QUESTION:
    Q for adult women who knows life as a victim of abuse as a very young child to teenager?
    Are any of you that were a forced entry into this life time think and feel differently than the people who were not?How do you learn and grow? As though we were not to be here to start with? For 14 years I was abused and controlled in every way. Do people: family,co-workers,in laws etc. Treat you like you are as bad as the perp? Do you live with P.T.S.D., OCD, ADHD, Anxiety Attacks,Panic Attacks,Social Phobia's,Depression etc? I am on Medications.I have been deprogrammed.I am 52 but in ways much older and younger in some areas. I have been seeing professionals since the age of 14.I have worked on my self as well.I have done a lot research, reading books, groups etc.I am reprogramming my brain.I have the logical part working great. My Doctors can only do so much. I need help from someone that knows what needs to be done. Have you or anyone you know had to do this and came out with everything in order, or as well as can be exspected?

    • ANSWER:
      Sorry to hear that you're going through this, but we're in the same boat.

      I have been through a roller coaster of fighting for myself, learning how to love myself, loathing myself and just saying "fu*ck it" to the abuse. I go through periods where I get really mad, and then I will defend my abusers the next day.

      People have treated me bad, because I have always been drawn to people that are similar to my parents. I push the nice people away, because the nice people scare me. I think that they might "want" something from me. One of the reasons why I don't want to leave my parents is because I'm scared at how others in the outside world will treat me. What if I keep running into the wrong people? At least my parents will take care of me in some ways, even though they've done some horrific things. A part of me wants to just ignore what my parents have done.

      I also can be mature in some ways, but very immature in others. I'm still a 12 year old sexually abused girl trapped in a 25 year old woman's body, but sometimes I feel like I'm 40.

      I'm also trying to reprogram my brain by trying to surround myself with nice people who treat me right, but it's SO WEIRD. It feels weird and scary to be around nice people, because I'm so used to exciting sociopathic abusers.

      Good luck. I hope you get through everything.

      EDIT: I also have OCD and anxiety, and depression.

  23. QUESTION:
    How do you get yourself out of a rut, with little support (long question)?
    I'm just looking for other people's stories about how they managed to recover from mental problems, especially when isolated. I've been previously diagnosed with Tourette's (comorbid with OCD, depression and anxiety), BPD and purging disorder. I've gone through extensive treatment in the past, mostly for Tourette's (meds) and social phobia (CBT) which gets really severe when not being treated, but am currently not taking anything.

    I moved to Europe about 7 years ago for a relationship. The marriage ended about 1.5 years ago, after he became emotionally abusive and I found out he was torturing (and in one case killed) our pets. I had to move away, because I couldn't find housing in the city I lived (long waiting lists for rentals), and I feel sort of like I've been living out of my suitcase ever since. I tried to get medical help in my new location for managing all the original problems (now with PTSD and frequent panic attacks), but was told the waiting list was over a year, and I didn't have money at the time for private treatment.

    I was really bad off for awhile, but managed to get myself together enough for things to seemingly work out. I moved to a new country over the summer, and am seeing a doctor now, but the process is very slow. It took several months to get into the system (waiting lists, again), and I still don't have their official diagnosis and treatment recommendation, though I should get it in a couple of weeks.

    I thought I was managing okay on my own when I first moved here. I found a great job offshore and felt like I was getting settled for the first time in a few years. Then my father was diagnosed with cancer back in the US, and I had to leave my contract to go back. After staying several weeks, I returned but had a message as soon as I landed that he had caught pneumonia and was very ill. I flew back the next day, only to find out he had died during the night, so I showed up for his funeral.

    The two emergency trips set me back thousands of dollars (which I didn't have, since I just moved countries) and I no longer had a job when I returned. I don't know anyone at all here, I speak a similar language (but have some difficulty with the local dialect, which makes finding new work less easy), and I have no close family or friends elsewhere. My family back in the US either a) has severe mental issues of their own or b) is abusive, and I just can't deal with their problems on top of mine right now. My father was the only one I talked with, and now that he's gone I just feel lost. I had nowhere to stay in the US anyway (so that wasn't an option), no history there (employment, education, credit etc), and I moved away so early (I was 20) that I feel like a complete foreigner.

    I'm here because I don't know where else to go, and don't have the funds to move elsewhere anyway. I'm living off savings currently, but it won't last forever. My father's death has really affected me badly, I feel very isolated, and then the job/financial difficulties on top of everything has made me feel pretty awful. I haven't really left my flat since I've returned, except to go to the doctor. Tourette's tics have worsened from anxiety, and I hate going out in public because of it. I've lost more weight than I should (about 15kg in 2 months). I just don't know where to start to change things, everything is unfamiliar and sort of overwhelming.

    I'm hoping the doctors can help in some way, but Tourette's makes me very sensitive to medications, so it's taken intensive treatment and a lot of time in the past to even get basic recovery. I don't think I've ever actually felt okay since I was a teenager. And the process, as I mentioned before, is sooo slow.

    What have others in similar situations done to make the necessary changes? How did you get back into the real world without support? Any tips at all would be appreciated.

    Please don't mention religion though, the country I live in is very agnostic so it's not a great place for social networking anyway. My ex was also the son of a pastor and very religious, and some of the abuse revolved around that, I really don't want to revisit those emotions right now.

    • ANSWER:
      I am so sorry that I cannot tell you a similar or inspirational story to help you out of this. What I can tell you is that my heart just pours out to you and I hope you do find what you need. You sound intelligent and you sound like you will find the help you need. I did want to however give you a couple pieces of info that might possibly help you. The first is financial. Call the airlines, tell them you came to US due to Dad's illness and death. They will tell you if have called in time to still qualify for the discount they offer for people that had to make crisis air trips. They will ask for the death certificate. Secondly, there are many support groups available, begin online. Tourettes has become widely known and on google you can find many online support web sites. Third, if your family is not a positive influence in your life, just back away. You need a relief from stress, not their stress inducing craziness at this time. I wish you well. You deserve the best.

  24. QUESTION:
    How do you get yourself out of a rut (long question)?
    I'm just looking for other people's stories about how they managed to recover from mental problems, especially when isolated. I've been previously diagnosed with Tourette's (comorbid with OCD, depression and anxiety), BPD and purging disorder. I've gone through extensive treatment in the past, mostly for Tourette's (meds) and social phobia (CBT) which gets really severe when not being treated, but am currently not taking anything.

    I moved to Europe about 7 years ago for a relationship. The marriage ended about 1.5 years ago, after he became emotionally abusive and I found out he was torturing (and in one case killed) our pets. I had to move away, because I couldn't find housing in the city I lived (long waiting lists for rentals), and I feel sort of like I've been living out of my suitcase ever since. I tried to get medical help in my new location for managing all the original problems (now with PTSD and frequent panic attacks), but was told the waiting list was over a year, and I didn't have money at the time for private treatment.

    I was really bad off for awhile, but managed to get myself together enough for things to seemingly work out. I moved to a new country over the summer, and am seeing a doctor now, but the process is very slow. It took several months to get into the system (waiting lists, again), and I still don't have their official diagnosis and treatment recommendation, though I should get it in a couple of weeks.

    I thought I was managing okay on my own when I first moved here. I found a great job offshore and felt like I was getting settled for the first time in a few years. Then my father was diagnosed with cancer back in the US, and I had to leave my contract to go back. After staying several weeks, I returned but had a message as soon as I landed that he had caught pneumonia and was very ill. I flew back the next day, only to find out he had died during the night, so I showed up for his funeral.

    The two emergency trips set me back thousands of dollars (which I didn't have, since I just moved countries) and I no longer had a job when I returned. I don't know anyone at all here, I speak a similar language (but have some difficulty with the local dialect, which makes finding new work less easy), and I have no close family or friends elsewhere. My family back in the US either a) has severe mental issues of their own or b) is abusive, and I just can't deal with their problems on top of mine right now. My father was the only one I talked with, and now that he's gone I just feel lost. I had nowhere to stay in the US anyway (so that wasn't an option), no history there (employment, education, credit etc), and I moved away so early (I was 20) that I feel like a complete foreigner.

    I'm here because I don't know where else to go, and don't have the funds to move elsewhere anyway. I'm living off savings currently, but it won't last forever. My father's death has really affected me badly, I feel very isolated, and then the job/financial difficulties on top of everything has made me feel pretty awful. I haven't really left my flat since I've returned, except to go to the doctor. Tourette's tics have worsened from anxiety, and I hate going out in public because of it. I've lost more weight than I should (about 15kg in 2 months). I just don't know where to start to change things, everything is unfamiliar and sort of overwhelming.

    I'm hoping the doctors can help in some way, but Tourette's makes me very sensitive to medications, so it's taken intensive treatment and a lot of time in the past to even get basic recovery. I don't think I've ever actually felt okay since I was a teenager. And the process, as I mentioned before, is sooo slow.

    What have others in similar situations done to make the necessary changes? How did you get back into the real world without support? Any tips at all would be appreciated.

    Please don't mention religion though, the country I live in is very agnostic so it's not a great place for social networking anyway. My ex was also the son of a pastor and very religious, and some of the abuse revolved around that, I really don't want to revisit those emotions right now.

    • ANSWER:
      Have you tried meditation or progressive relaxation? It helps with anxiety. For jobs, you could try working the night shift because then you wouldn't have to interact with people but you could still make money. You could also try writing a journal. It can help you understand you feelings and moods. Also, try listening to music. No one that I know of has ever successfully dealt with mental problems on their own. You will need help, but you can survive until that help comes.

  25. QUESTION:
    I am depressed and I don't want to live like this anymore?
    I am a 15 year old male

    Firstly let me say my mother is a "helicopter" mom and (I assume) she suffers from either delusions and severe separation anxiety. For the past 4 years of my life, she has pulled me out of school and not let me go anywhere social.

    She is afraid gang members are going to get me, and whenever I talk about high school she just brings up how they have gang members there and how everyone in public school brings weapons to school and kills each other.

    She prepares everything together and she has forced me to sleep in the same room as her for the past 15 years of my life.

    Every morning I wake up sad with nothing to look forward to. Just another day where I sit in my computer room, read in my computer room, eat in my computer room, and then go to bed. The agony that I have suffered for the past 4 years of my life is unexplainable and severely emotionally damaged.

    She treats me like a baby and even wipes my ass after I poo. I don't want to live like this, I am not sick; I am a perfectly normal teenager...

    I am very dependent on my mother and I cannot even eat or take my medication without her doing it for me. All of my life it has been like this.

    I wake up and then I go to bed. No social contact with my peers. No activity. Nothing.

    I don't want to live like this anymore, the thought of committing a mass murder and suicide rings like chimes inside of my head and the urge is starting to become irresistible.

    I don't know what to do anymore, if I call child services then they will put me in a foster home where everyone will beat me up.. and I won't even have a computer.

    Whats the point of living? After this treacherous home schooling I am going to be forced to do college from home. By the time I graduate from college I would be 23 (I am 1 year behind).

    I can't live like this anymore, my concentration is completely gone and sometimes I wish I would just suffer medically induced cardiac arrest from the Ritalin that I take.
    Obviously NOBODY read my question because if you did you would have noticed the words SOCIALLY ISOLATED and HOME SCHOOLING

    • ANSWER:
      There are so many things in life you’re going to miss out on if you do. I totally understand, but don't. Calm down and think it through. Think about all the people you'll be hurting. Killing yourself won't do anything to help it you will miss out on life. You matter to everybody and you were put on the earth for a reason. Death is not meant for you to pick when. You have a reason to be here just like everyone else and you are very important. Talk to someone you trust.
      If you feel suicidal, please call the suicide hotline immediately.
      1-800-273-8255
      or
      1-800-784-2433
      http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

  26. QUESTION:
    I'm almost 15..and I have been depressed. I want to get treated for social anxiety, a nose job, and to move?
    i'm a freshman in high school. i am not a dumb, overdramatic teenager. i really want to be happy, but i don't know how to find the courage to do the things i want in order to be happy.

    a few months ago, i found out what social anxiety is. i'll try to keep this short and not go into too much detail, but i have had VERY bad social problems and nervousness my entire life. it was at its worst point in 6th grade, and i've gotten better since then. but i am still not able to do things i want. right now my social anxiety probably does not seem terrible to my mom, because recently i've been going to some parties and i've been hanging out with my friends. she doesn't see how hard it is for me. i am not close with my mom at all. so it's EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY hard for me to bring it up to my mom. i have no idea how to ask. i just can't.

    second thing is, i want to move to a different city SO badly. i want to move FAR. far away from my friends. and i'm sick of the crappy weather and crappy people. but i'm not sure if i should just drop it. but i don't want to. plus, i think i should take care of the social anxiety thing first. because what if i move, and i am miserable because i am shy and i can't make friends?

    third thing. i know this is going to sound superficial, but i want a nose job. i am really set on it. i have wanted one for YEARS. my nose does not have just a little bump. it's huge and makes me ugly. everyone comments on it. i avoid taking pictures because of it. i am not confident in my physical appearance at all because of my nose.

    i feel like the root of all my problems is the social anxiety thing. i don't know if i have it. i feel very strongly about it, and i want to tell my mom. but you have no idea how terrifying the idea of telling her sounds to me. i can picture myself in my head asking her. but once i'm around her, it's totally different, and i get nervous around her.

    i get very depressed. whenever i have a problem i think i can fix, i fix it. but these things are all permanent and they're on my mind everyday. i don't know what to do.

    :(

    • ANSWER:
      I'm sorry that you're dealing with so many issues at once. The social anxiety alone can be very limited especially since attending high school usually has large crowds to deal with ;) I have social anxiety myself and take meds (though not always used for teens as can have some dangerous side effects in younger people) and receive counseling. I also practice relaxation techniques include 'deep breathing' before having to deal with a social (or other anxiety-provoking) situation. I slowly breathe through the nose and then slowly out pursed lips -- just a couple of times as to not hyperventilate. Please talk with a counselor, even one's guidance counselor about it. I also remind myself that everyone judges everyone else, even if not verbalizing their thoughts. People are just that -- people :) Everyone has their own insecurities and self-doubts and no one is perfect regardless of their appearance or demeanor.

      Regarding the nose job (rhinoplasty), I'm not sure that dr's usually perform them on teens who've not finished growing. If one has trouble breathing, the nose job may be partially or totally covered by health insurance though I've heard that it's not a pleasant recovery period ;) Please try to focus on your emotional health before thinking about surgery. I'm sure that you're gorgeous the way that you are :)

      If do have trouble breathing and want to get an evaluation from a doctor, please make sure that the dr is a board-certified plastic surgeon and/or an ear, nose and throat (ent) doctor. Even if the doctor has the right credentials, it doesn't guarantee the desired results though: For more info: http://www.plasticsurgery.org

  27. QUESTION:
    Is there sex therapy for someone who has been without intimacy?
    Because of extreme shyness and social anxiety, I have made it all the way into my 30s and remained a virgin? Are there any therapies to treat that or any therapists who can specialize in that area? How would any future woman be ok, with my lack of experience and a lack of past relationships, meaning I am as clumsy and awkward as a newbie teenager?

    • ANSWER:
      You are not alone. Have you considered going to therapy (YES, there is sex therapy for you) and possibly finding a surrogate? I think if you live in a larger city it shouldn't be hard to find a counselor or psychologist you are comfortable with.

      I found this article about others with your same situation:
      http://archive.salon.com/sex/feature/2003/10/08/virgin/index.html

      Good luck, and I hope you find the happiness that comes with a relationship.

  28. QUESTION:
    I'm wondering what should be done?
    I was always slightly detached from my parents as a young child; had a strong attachment yet didn't like being cuddled or talking about love and wouldn't hug or say I loved people growing up. I wasn't sure what love was until my grandfather died in my late teens. As a teenager, I was confused about why mothers like to rub and stroke their children's arms, backs and legs and found it weird and scary and got frightened by it because I didn't understand people's need for it. I was confused by social skills. The psychologist said he believes I have mild Aspergers but am a normal person and that this was caused by the severe anxiety disorder that I also have. My mother keeps trying to touch my arm and now that depression and anxiety are treated and post traumatic stress disorder, I am feeling ok instead of frightened by it. What I don't feel ok with is that my mother has always ignored my feelings in this respect. If I was uncomfortable, she would keep touching me wherever I felt uncomfortable. I realize now that this is because it is normal for people to keep trying to get close to people and that they don't always realize that something else is a bigger deal to overcome or change than for most people. I'm the one who is different. What bothers me is that I expressed how much it bothered me and she doesn't care and is trying to force me to be close physically. I'm not sure that I'm opposed to being closer now I feel sane, I do want relationships with people but I don't like feeling pressured. What should be said or done here so as not to be hurtful but to express a need for things to work out slowly? Would it be a good idea to see a counsellor?

    • ANSWER:


How To Treat Social Anxiety Without Medication

Written By: admin - Jun• 11•12

Is it achievable to learn to cope with anxiety without taking prescribed drugs? The short answer is yes, but we must be willing to recognize that we have a disorder of the first.

We all agree with some anxiety and stress in our every day lives. However, there are certain situations that cause stress such that people just can not seem to tackle them. This can often lead to psychological and physical disorders. Sometimes these people try to cope with these difficult conditions by turning to alcohol or drugs, which can become addicted. However, other people become addicted to prescription drugs that are intended to help your situation. Fortunately, there are several stress management and anxiety control methods what can be used to treat our anxiety disorder.

The first 3 steps to control anxiety without medication

Your first step toward successfully managing your anxiety or stress is to identify the causes, situations or people that are causing stress. By knowing the accurate reasons, it will be possible to cope with these things and plan your life accordingly.

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    How hard is it to treat anxiety without medication.............?
    I've been taking 20 mg of Prozac for about three months now for social anxiety. While it's worked pretty well, all the days seem to run together and I'm in a haze all the time. How hard would it be to treat my anxiety without the Prozac?

    • ANSWER:
      It all depends on you & how severe your anxiety is. I was able to just do therapy for years and that helped immensely. My therapist taught me breathing exercises that really helped. A few years ago, though, it became unmanageable for me & I went on meds. Everybody is different. If you do decide to go off of the prozac, don't do it cold turkey. Talk to your doctor about tapering off your meds.

  2. QUESTION:
    How can I treat bipolar disorder and social anxiety disorder without medication?
    Throughout my life I've always had personal psychological issues and I never knew why. I recently talked to a friend who just graduated with a psychology major and she told me she thinks I have bipolar disorder and social anxiety disorder. After she told me this I started doing research and reading everything about these two disorders. Now I finally understand why I'm so moody all the time and why I randomly sweat profusely in public. The only problem is I don't have health insurance or a steady income to pay for medication. Is there any way I can treat this without medicine?

    • ANSWER:
      Or it could be depression.

      What you need is a proper diagnosis by someone who isn't GUESSING, who is using the correct diagnostic tools.

      Depending on what you have, you may be able to apply for disability, and get the support you need.

  3. QUESTION:
    Is there a way to treat anxiety without medication?
    Hello. Basically I have had a serious problem for the past two years that has developed to the point it is hindering my personal and professional life.

    You see everyone, and I mean everyone sees me different. Some people say I come across as cold and distant, others say I am a shy sweetheart, others say I seem like a guy that doesn't care about anything etc... But they couldn't be more wrong.

    I have an overactive mind, I overthink everything to the point where I am like "If I ask this question, what will his/her reply be, and how do I deal with that?" I believe I am paranoid because when in social situations I scan the room and think "He hates me. She hates me. He thinks I am ok." But I never think "that person loves me for who I am". I also always smile and laugh during conversations and constanty feel out of place when in a bar or club with people. But sometimes, apparantley because of the way I am I come across as rude or arrogant...

    Nowadays I actually breathe a sigh of relief when I get home because I think yes I haven't made an idiot of myself or made anybody hate me. I actually prefer being on my own now and it is driving me crazy.

    I think I have a combination of many things: Paranoia, anxiety, shyness and social phobia. All of my best friends say I come across as confident, and cool. But I think I am the exact opposite and I am living a lie. A life I pretend where I want everyone to like and accept me. I play football and go partying alot, but I never truly feel like one of the group even though everyone says I am funny (When It is only the alcohol talking.)

    I am desperate to get over this problem but don't want to tell family or friends about my deep hidden feelings because I am a private guy. Is there anyway of doing meditation or perhaps mental exercies that can make me walk around truly confident and a totally different man? I mean I know I am arkward but nobody else seems to see it and I think their lying!

    Sorry for the rant but I didn't want to miss any details. thanks for your time. Any answers will be appreciated dearly.

    • ANSWER:
      The "confident cool" facade and the nervous laughter during conversations are some of your many defense mechanisms to cope with the anxiety and severe unease that you feel around other people. You are preoccupied obsessively with what others think of you, which is partly why you feel so much shame about reaching out for help -to you it is "weak" or repulsive to be vulnerable like that (but you just say you are a "private" guy instead). In short, you live behind an emotional wall of facades and anxiety-managing tactics, and you have been for a long time.

      The anxiety stems from unresolved, *buried* complex feelings, probably due to broken or strained or difficult relationships with key people in your life earlier on. (For example, maybe dad always implied that just being you wasn't good enough, but as a child you felt you could not be angry with him, because he is your dad, and were otherwise uncapable of processing those feelings because you were little, so they were buried) Whenever you face a situation where you might have to actually be vulnerable and close, those complex feelings and old links, which you have buried out of your conscious awareness for a long time, are triggered and start to bubble up, bringing about a severe anxiety reaction. To manage this, you have adapted many defense mechanisms to deal with it, attempting to counter the anxiety and also (unconsciously) push back down the troubling, painful, or taboo complex true feelings that start to rise up in those situations.

      It happens in an instant. All you experience is anxiety and the immediate run to the familiar defense mechanisms to push down the anxiety and keep others from getting close to the real you -the cool and confident appearance, nervous laughter, obsessive preoccupation with performance and what others think of you, do manly things, try to do whatever you can to fit in with the group and get yourself off of "loser island" (the inferior state you feel inside). But none of those things will solve the problem, and it sounds like you are at the point where you realize they won't.

      This is why you also prefer to be alone. Although you long for true closeness and companionship, you don't really believe it is possible for you -real loving, vulnerable closeness. The relief you feel is due to the escape from the social situations that trigger the buried complex feelings and cause anxiety. So, leaving social situations and being alone feels better because the anxiety goes away and the exhausting work of keeping up your defense mechanisms can stop. You can finally be yourself, behind the wall alone.

      Yes, there is help for this without medication. Find a therapist, specifically one who specializes in ISTDP (intensive short-term dynamic psychotherapy). This type of counseling is not like other counseling. It is very experiential, and it is designed to bring relief quickly (anywhere from 10 to 40 sessions rather than years of therapy). Look high and low to find someone who does this. It will help you.

  4. QUESTION:
    Is it possible to treat ADD without medication?
    i realized a day ago i have ADD. How can i get rid of it without MEDICATION , because i don't believe in medication for mental problems . I treated myself out of depression and social anxiety , also panic disorder this way. Please help me . I am in desperate need. thanks in advance :) .

    • ANSWER:
      You can't "get rid" of ADD. Even with medication it's not something you can "cure". But you can treat it so the symptoms are lessened. And that can be done without medication to a certain extent. When you say you realized you have ADD, does that mean you actually got diagnosed with it? If yes, than your doctor probably would have told you what symptoms you have of it. If no, then you must have based you having it on seeing symptoms and noticing that they sound like you.

      ADD has alot of different characteristics, and how much effect they have on daily life is different for everyone who has it.

      For people with ADD treatment usually consists of medication and life changes. So if your just planning on making life changes, then some of the common ones are

      1.getting into a routine. that helps with forgetfulness and getting sidetracked with other things. like getting into the habit of waking up at the same time every morning and going to bed at the same time each night.

      2. notice what your having trouble with, like is your morning always rushed trying to pull everything together, are you always trying to get things done last minute, etc. notice what issues are there and find a way to resolve them. like if your morning is rushed because you have all the stuff you need together all scattered around, like papers, your keys, your phone, all the things you need to have together if you leave for the morning for work or school, then find time the night before to get everything together for the next morning, lay out your clothes for the next day, etc.
      Getting organized is one thing that makes life so much simpler.

      I don't know how old you are or if you go to school or work or any of that stuff, and I don't know which symptoms are effecting you or how much they are effecting you, but for most symptoms there are ways to atleast lessen the impact they have on your life without medication.

  5. QUESTION:
    How To Treat Social Phobia / Anxiety Disorder?
    Please Looking For A Nature Way Without Going To Doctor or Using Medications.
    Thanks

    • ANSWER:
      I don't mean to take your problems lightly, but there is truth in this. There's an old saying, A young woman is walking down the streets of New York City and asks a stranger, "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?" The reply was, "Practice, baby, practice." There's a lot of truth in that.
      You can certainly read books about how to socialize and feel more comfortable, but the only way to become good at anything is by doing it. A few tips: Focus on others, instead of yourself. Write out some questions to ask other people before you go out. Keep your "cheat sheet" with you and use it. When you get overly nervous, go to the bathroom and take a few deep breaths and tell yourself, "I'm doing fine". Lastly, remember, everyone is nervous in a gathering. You're certainly not alone. Many people have social phobias.
      You'll do fine, but preparation and practice are the keys to being successful at almost everything in life. It's like reading gives you the theory, but it's only by doing that gives you the practical skills. And everyone can learn social skills. Good luck.

  6. QUESTION:
    Is there any medication that treat dopamine shortages while not amplifying an existing anxiety disorder?
    Is there any medication that can increase dopamine levels without being overly stimulating, so as not to amplify an anxiety disorder the patient already has?

    I have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. I have also kept a diary over several days of how I feel during the day, and what I have written sounds very much like the symptoms of a dopamine shortage. The fact that I have failed 12 university subjects in a row also hints at this chemical imbalance. I have not yet mentioned this to my therapist to see what she thinks.

    So I would like to know if there is anyway to correct this situation while not amplifying my social anxiety disorder?

    • ANSWER:

  7. QUESTION:
    Social Anxiety: What is the best way to cure/heal it?
    I have social anxiety and of course i hate it! It keeps away from people. Now, i would like some advice on how to treat and solve this problem that is getting worse. I tried Xanax and i feel better. But i don't want to get addicted so i am thinking about to stop taking it.

    Thank you :) i am really in need of help to get out of this "prison".

    Any ideas? Anyone that had felt the same way and won the battle putting fear away? Can you tell me how and if is there rebounds? With or without medication?

    • ANSWER:
      This is a great course/product which helped me basically CURE myself of social anxiety and stop it for good, check it out below:

      http://www.stopanxietyinminutes.com

      I highly recommend it, good luck.

  8. QUESTION:
    How can I cure my social anxiety disorder? PLEASE TELL ME IT IS A QUESTIONS OF LIFE OR DEATH ???
    I have Social Anxiety Disorder, I want to cure it naturally or something. How can I treat my own self without any pills/drugs/alcohol/medications. IS there some exercise or some food that I should eat? Are there any vitamins that may help me???????

    • ANSWER:
      Go on a personal growth course or a course to build your self confidence. Or buy some books on this type of disorder and what to do to cure it.
      My advice to you is to tell yourself that you are a good person and you deserve to be happy. Every time you get a negative thought replace it with a positive thought.
      Maybe you are just shy and that is normal. There are a lot of shy people in the world. Just learn to focus more on what other people are saying and less on what you are feeling. Just remember that no matter what you say or do that there will always be someone who will criticise you. Just let nonconstructive criticism go over you head. Just ignore it. That is part of the social scene and you can't control it. You can only control how you react to it. Just be polite and focus on enjoying what you are doing or where you are going and ignore any negativity. Move away from negativity and be near people who respect you and your opinions.
      If you feel anxious just concentrate on your breathing and this will calm you down. Just think of the word 'calm' repeatedly and I bet you will eventually be cured of any anxieties you have! Just believe in yourself. It is a beautiful world out there. Enjoy!
      It is more of a self confidence thing than a taking vitamin thing. You could learn relaxation techniques or meditation techniques. Or just start in small steps by walking to the gate, then to the corner, then go into a shop etc. Just do this every day and you will slowly get used to being in social settings.

  9. QUESTION:
    I think I have social anxiety. What should I do?
    I'm a sophomore in college and I think I have social anxiety. I don't have many friends, I'm scared to talk to people on my floor, sometimes I skip meals because I'm scared of being seen eating by myself or running into people I know, and I spend most of my time alone. I don't go out on weekends and when people ask me what I did over the weekend, I lie or say something vague because I don't want people to know that I spend a lot of time alone.

    I haven't considered it a major problem until recently when it's obviously affecting my health (when I skip meals) and now my school work as well. I know I should talk to someone about this but I'm scared to do that as well. My first reaction was to talk to my mom, but I'm scared of her reaction and I know she'll be disappointed that I've been keeping this hidden for so long. I also don't want to see a doctor because I don't want to be put on medication.

    How can I just tell someone and be treated without medication or what else can I do?

    • ANSWER:
      Try talking to a teacher or to a really good friend u trust if u want i can find out more for u
      if u want more info from me email me k

  10. QUESTION:
    Social Anxiety Disorder.?
    Okay, I'm 17 and my psychiatrist says I have Social Anxiety Disorder and I should go in regularly to "talk" with him. But my parents won't let me, they say if I go see a psychiatrist, I'm some how less of a person, and will embarrass them. So I was wondering if there is anything I can do by myself to help treat it without psychiatry or medications because my parents won't allow that...

    • ANSWER:
      I'm very sorry that your parents are so close-minded about this. You need help now, while you are young.

      If you can, get a copy of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers PhD.D. It will likely be available at your public library. Or, if you have the funds, you can buy it on-line at Amazon or Chapters for less than . I recently sent a copy to a teen-aged relative who is phobic. It is simple to read since it's divided into sections and doesn't have to be read from beginning to end.

      Take your time in social situations. You are not required to make conversation. Being a good listener has great advantages, especially when dealing with those who are insecure themselves and love to talk.

      Dress as neatly as you can. And spend a bit of extra time with your hair and general appearance. It will make you feel better about yourself, less self-conscious that is.

      I do understand your problem, having recovered from it myself. I was obliged to disregard my parents' and young husband's ignorance regarding such matters and find help on my own. That's why it's important for you to do the same. ASAP

      My thoughts and best wishes are with you. Good luck!

  11. QUESTION:
    How to get anxiety medication?
    I'm in high school. I don't have typical SAD because I hardly have of the symptoms. I have no fear of groups, talking in front of groups, etc. and my 'shyness' which isn't really shyness at all is hard-coded over-analysis of social settings and my own actions/other's reactions. I understand it perfectly, but for the past 4 years (since I realised the problem, I think the first signs began at 11, and are due to my mentally unstable mom driving it into my brain that I have autism, I can't make friends like 'normal' kids, etc).

    Let me tell you, an alcohol buzz works wonders at school. It is the ONLY time I have (and will) ever do all my work thoroughly, socialize comfortably, and make good grades. Of course, that isn't really a safe habit, and I can't get anymore. So I'm losing all my 'friends' and I do NOT usually hardly ever start a conversation anymore etc. unless someone else talks to me first, because one of the things I have a problem with is the setting inside classrooms. But outside of classrooms I feel fine, but I don't even try to socialize because my lack of confidence is sure to show up at unwelcome times like it always does and make me appear indifferent to everyone/bored. But whenever I do socialize, everyone seems to like me... and I'm actually really confident in my skills (both artistic, logical, and social) because I know who the uninhibited version of me is.

    Now I'm trying marijuana to see if it helps (which probably won't) but I don't get any till a few days.

    Also, from what I've read ecstasy seems to be a really alternative (or the ultimate temporary solution) but the chances of ever getting some of that soon is pretty impossible.

    So, I think that benzos are the best option. But my doctor doesn't want to give me anything addicting. Some think that dioxepin would work so i took one, then looked it up on the internet and it is to treat

    DEPRESSION / INSOMNIA

    and I was like OH MY GOD wtf is this. My doctor has got to be fucking stupid, because I made it clear that from HIS description of what benzos do, that would help a ton. He wants to send me to CBT, but I said unless I get prescribed benzos I'm not going. Why? I'm not waiting years for a solution that doesn't exist. NO ONE has had a 100% success story from CBT. Now, unless my doctor and grandparents think outside of the box and aren't so close minded about addictive drugs, I won't get any solution at ALL from them. By the way, I threw that little container of Dioxepin in the trash after I read about.

    So... I can't stand school without drugs. Next year, I'm going to join the marines or something if I can, and either
    A) get shot
    or
    B) get my hard-core CBT served to me and shoved down my throat, and get my confidence from the training (if that is possible)

    C) Live my adult life as hard-core drug addict, and die likely from overdose.

    Yea. By the way, saying I'd like to get shot in the army DOES NOT MEAN I'm depressed; actually, the word is pissed. I'm pretty frustrated how people TOTALLY FREAK out whenever any drug is mentioned.

    Yeah, school starts again Monday. How can I go about getting a prescription for benzos or SOMETHING that will work. At least so I can get school over with.

    By the way, if anyone who reads this is so ignorant to think marijuana is a harmful drug, then don't even bother replying because I will ignore you.

    • ANSWER:
      Let me tell you a story about a girl. When she was 5 years old she started having panic attacks, and they grew in severity throughout her life. By her freshman year of college she was severely depressed because she had made no friends, and the ones she had she never hung out with because she was terrified of being in social situations. She was afraid of heights, being under ground, closed in spaces, being alone, being with other people, being away from her "safe" zone... in short, she was in a constant state of panic.

      She lost a lot of weight, stopped eating, and became suicidal. She would walk up and down the street in sketchy areas at 2 o'clock in the morning, hoping that a drunk driver would swerve off the road and run her down. She smoked weed and drank to try to deal with the anxiety, but nothing helped for long. Then she went to her doctor and was prescribed a benzodiazepine, Xanax, but it didn't help. It gave temporary relief, but then the anxiety came back just as bad if not worse after the medication wore off. She began needing more and more of it just to get out of her dorm and go to class, and then it didn't even help and she just stopped going altogether.

      Finally, one day, her doctor suggested CBT. She didn't really believe it would work because she thought that whole "mind-body connection" thing was a load of crap. She had tried a ton of anti-anxiety medications, and none had helped. The doctor assured her that it was very effective, so she decided that as much as she wanted to die, she also wanted just as much to live, so it was worth trying.

      That girl was (as I'm sure you've surmised) me. I can tell you that CBT works, and it works wonders. If you put in 100% effort, you will get 100% results. But the results you get are directly proportional to the amount of effort you put in. If you only give it a half-ass shot, you will get half-ass results. The people you've talked to who it didn't work for probably didn't have what it takes to put in the effort to make it work.

      CBT is not easy. It takes a lot of work on your part. You don't just go sit in a therapist's office for one hour a week and magically get better. You expose yourself to the things you're most afraid of, and you use the techniques the therapist teaches you to manage your anxiety and face it down head-on. You scare the hell out of yourself and eventually you re-teach your brain, you teach it that there's nothing to be afraid of and then, slowly but surely, your anxiety dies. But you have to work at it every single day. You have to do your homework, apply yourself 100% to the therapy in and out of the therapist's office, and never give up just because it's hard.

      Statistically, CBT has a success rate of over 90%. That less than 10% of people who it doesn't work for, didn't get results because they did not work hard enough. I am completely convinced of that, because I had severe, overwhelming, highly treatment-resistant anxiety for almost 15 years of my life... and now I'm living my life. I go to parties, I have fun with my friends without needing any sort of drug, drink, or medication, I can hold down a job, I can do all of the things I never saw myself doing when I was 18. When I was 18, I thought I would have killed myself by now. But I'm here, and I owe that completely to my therapist and CBT.

      Give it a shot. Input = output. You WILL get results if you really try.

  12. QUESTION:
    Whats wrong with me? Anxiety?
    I'm 16 going to be a junior. I'm pretty shy for the most part unless I know someone very well where I will act like myself around them. I think I have like social anxiety since when I talk with people I don't know too well, I stumble on my words a little, I attempt to add as little to the conversation as possible, and its horrible.. Everyone else can speak their mind without fearing anything but for me, almost everything I'm about to say could be criticized or just wrong so I just don't say anything.

    When I'm in school I really only talk to my friends in my classes because of the things said above.. My classes didnt have many people I knew anyways so I hardly talked or participated. During class the main thing on my mind is my bladder. I stare at the clock very often to see how much longer class is until I can go to the bathroom.. I normally go inbetween every period and often during class. I know frequent urination is occuring because I think out situations where I may not be able to use the bathroom, and piss myself -.- lol.. so yeah I get the fear of peeing in class and the whole school knowing about it by the end of the day. It's never happened, but many times I would go before class, then during class, then at the end of that class I would feel like I'm about piss my self. It's horrible.

    my mom had some mental issues that I'm not aware of that she was treated with medication years ago, but now shes off of them still noticably has something wrong with her.. She has fear of judgement by everyone; she cleans the house head to toe when her sister comes over which is often, she whispers things to us in the house so our neighbors cant hear.. i mean it goes on.

    I was looking online an I saw that valium reduces anxiety and social anxiety, I could probably get a hold of these. Would they help? or I mean, what do I even have and how can I deal with it.. help pls?
    oh an its not like im a nerd and i get picked on an shit, i'm like a star lacrosse player but its just getting hard to deal with this stuff..

    • ANSWER:

  13. QUESTION:
    Help with anxiety and depression..?
    Hi,
    I'm 18 years old, suffering from pretty bad social phobia/anxiety and from depression.
    I've been to psychologists and psychiatrists but they could not help me at all. I felt like it was useless going there, because they always wanted me to try medications, but each time I told a bit more of myself, their diagnose changed, once I had high, other time I had very low self esteem, once I had depression, later I did not... I decided that I try treating myself alone.
    My childhood is very troubled, I cannot ask help from my family. They don't support me, I live for myself since I turned 14.
    I feel terrible because of anxiety ... sometimes it is so bad that I am afraid to walk on streets, each time before someone passes by I start to panic. ( worrying about what she/he will be thinking of me)
    I spent a year alone, so I had troubles understanding facial expressions, and I also have troubles making them... each time someone asks me why do I look like I'm disgusted, why do I look sad while I'm not at all, it kicks my confidence down.
    I can't look in the eyes.
    I haven't made any friends.
    I isolated myself from the world, I rarely meet people. That is why I never had friends, boyfriends.
    When boys tell me that I'm pretty, or try to flirt, I cannot respond.
    When a girl tries to befriend me, I feel like I have nothing to say. I think, and speak only when it is necessary. I often wonder why do people have so much thing to talk about.
    I have low self-esteem when I have to be in public. It has to be changed, because I am sick of living like this.

    I'd like to feel great as before, without taking medications.(tried them, no thanks) I don't have much money, and I live far, in a vacant lot which means the city is 1,5hrs far, and have NO neighbours. I don't have friends, family, boyfriend for support. I have low blood pressure. I overused my knees when I did volleyball, and doctors keep telling me I will have a terrible back pain later. -> can't do sports, except swimming, but I still want to give yoga a try.
    Any herbs, teas, treatments I can use to treat my anxiety/depression?
    How can I change my thinking?(lots of negative thoughts) Is it possible, anyway?

    • ANSWER:

  14. QUESTION:
    What are the chances of me being prescribed benzodiazepines?
    A little background for those reading: I am a 24 year old male in good physical health. I have always suffered from social anxiety (never been diagnosed, and am not a physician...but it's seems pretty obvious for me). I have extreme difficulty communicating and being with, or around anyone (even my friends and parents), this leads to a lack of relationships in my life, both professional and social, which is extremely detrimental to my daily life.

    I was diagnosed with ADHD my junior year in college, and prescribed various stimulants and anti-depressants (mostly adderall/concerta and celexa). These drugs seemed to help me for a short time (i.e. mostly the adderall, the celexa made me gain weight and feel like a zombie). After a while, even the adderall seemed to have negative effects on me. Anyways, a couple months into my treatment I started feeling getting regular panic attacks (or so I think that they were), so I decided to stop my adderall and ssri's on my own without my doctor's reccommendation and just tried to live day to day without any medication.

    Within a couple days, perhaps a week, sans any medication at all, my anxiety seemed to come at me full force making it extraordinarily difficult to be a successful employee at work. I began to isolate myself and essentially became a flake because I found it too difficult to deal with everyday social situations...and as a result lost my job. I am now unemployed and nearly starving because of my inability to deal with my anxiety.

    Mind you, I am not a stupid person. I have an honors bachelor's degree in finance/economics. I have a fairly steady work history and try to be a quality human being. I just literally cannot deal with my social anxiety. It prevents me from being successful in job interviews, it prevents me from expressing my emotions and communicating with people, it prevents me from holding meaningful relationships, and most of all prevents me from living a happy life.

    I am not a drug addict, even though I might classify myself as recreational drug experimenter (I have tried many drugs...usually done in a scientific way documenting my subjective experiences and the effects on my body). I have found that the most effective drug for treating my social anxiety is a LOW dose of clonazepam (0.25mg sublingual, or 0.5mg orally). These doses generally provide me with the alleviation of my anxiety (enough to interact with people and not freak out). I have also taken this drug for an extended period of time (never more than 2 weeks daily, but have noticed a decline in its effects after about 2 weeks of daily use). Noting this tolerance, I have come to the realization that this drug is extremely effective for me, but only used over a short period of time.

    I know doctors are very strict about prescribing scheduled drugs, but how could I possibly get prescribed the medication that I need so that I might once again become a productive member of society?? I have taken enough drugs that I KNOW what works for me and what doesn't, and I have come to a point in my life where if I don't alleviate my social anxiety, I don't know whether I will be able to get a job or even hold meaningful relationships with anyone anymore...

    This is a very depressing subject for me, but honestly, what do you think are the chances of me being prescribed the drugs that I need???

    • ANSWER:
      Wow, I don't think that I ever spoke to someone who has been on as many medications as me. I also have AD/HD, depression, and generalized anxiety. I currently take 72 mg of Concerta, 300 mg of Wellbutrin, and occasionally 1 mg of Kolonopin because I have severe insomnia. However, the chances of you getting medications like that are slim unless you have documented visits to a hospital for panic attacks. Most psychiatrists are less apt to give benzodiazepines prescriptions to someone who takes stimulant medications. I would presume that you'd be steered into a different SSRI like Lexapro which is commonly given to AD/HDers for high anxiety. Never outright express to your doctor that you need a medication like this as you will be profiled as having drug seeking behavior. Always tell them what you have taken and what didn't work.

  15. QUESTION:
    What do you think is wrong with me?
    I was diagnosed with social anxiety and am being treated for it but it seems like theres something else going on with me.
    I am 16 and have struggled with making friends and going to school or other places with people I need to go to since I was 6.I have 1 close friend that's near my age and not related to me that I trust.I don`t open up much to others unless i`ve known them for 2 years or longer and even then I only trust them with the little things. I see a councilor for OCD and am on an anxiety medication. I avoid learning how to drive or getting a job because im afraid of messing up. I am very bad at tests at school and work better alone than when we have to work in pairs. I`m super sensitive and think that everyone hates me and are judging me. I burst into tears quite often no matter if im in public or not. I hurt myself when I get upset at other people so that I can get the anger out without making a scene or hurting someone else. I don't do well with change and like routines. I avoid parties and other social events so I don`t make a fool of myself. I get embarrassed easily and try to not be involved in things that might end up embarrassing me. I am very submissive and try to not break rules. What do you think is wrong with me?

    • ANSWER:

  16. QUESTION:
    Anxiety Disorder question?
    When I went to a therapist to treat my depression and anxiety disorder (general and social phobia) she told me I had a fractured personality ( but not MPD). She told me there were some inconsistentcies in my behavior and thoughts probably due to my anxiety. I guess I'm looking for a more thorough explanation, everywhere I look on the internet, "fractured personality" always shows up with sites related to Multiple personality disorder. I would like to know how I can deal with this without medication and without therapy (if it's possible). Thanks

    • ANSWER:
      I've never heard that term before - it might be under the personality disorders category - something like borderline personality disorder would probably be the closest thing. Depends on the therapist too... if it's a psychiatrist or psychologist (someone with a PhD) I'd be more willing to trust them than if it's a social worker or an LPC. The therapist might be just using that term to say that your behavior is inconsistent. If depression and anxiety are your main problems, then there are a number of things you can do on your own. St. John's Wort is a good herb for mood enhancement. Avoid caffeine and other stimulants like energy drinks - that will make your anxiety worse. Practice relaxation techniques, do yoga, make sure to exercise - it releases endorphins that help with the depression.
      With the anxiety, keep track of what triggers you, and just being aware of it can help you be more psychologically ready to deal with it. Anxiety is just your body overreacting physiologically - you just need to train it to calm down.
      Medication isn't really necessary unless your anxiety and depression are really interfering with your life, and even then, they should only be used temporarily, until you can learn the skills you need to deal with your symptoms on your own. Therapy is great. If the issue is money, you can always ask your therapist if there are some short-term options, or if you can be referred to another therapist that can do short-term.

  17. QUESTION:
    Do I have OCD or is this behavior normal?
    Ok now to be quite honest I am incredibly odd....
    I have a odd interest in psychology and history basically anything behavior wise as far as peoples characteristics or how society acts as a whole. I tend to view the majority of people as being odd as well, namely cause I can pick up on oddities and most people I find to be well pretentious. Saying this I should also mention, I know I can be somewhat narcissistic when it comes to my personality. Where it gets odd is I technically have a diagnosis of ADHD inattentive which means I have ADHD but I tend to be introverted or compulsive, basically I tend to get lost in my own thoughts. I have extreme attention problems, I am a adult now I am starting to actually deal with my attention issues but I am finding my anxiety issues are still there and my fidgetyness and my anxiety are not treated with my medication.
    I find my anxiety sometimes spikes during certain times, basically I get what feels like social anxiety a lot and sometimes its too much to bear and id rather be bymyself, I tend to play with a key chain a lot while in public, it calms me. I tend to like to talk out my ideas and problems to myself, in order to organize my thoughts. When I am organizing my thoughts or talking out my ideas usually its while I am showering or cleaning (unfortunately it seems to take forever for me to get any cleaning done I am not exactly sure what I do)
    I do not feel as though this is side effects of my medication since I feel the same if not worse without them. I do notice that when someone interrupts my line of thinking I become slightly agitated sometimes to the point of anger.
    I find the real annoyance is how I feel that everything has a solution and I don't let go of things easily tend to hold grudges, also how I will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to look for a cell phone, laptop, wallet, paper, or sometimes it forms in paranoia of forgetting a thought and I feel oddly I must write it down. When doing paper work I will not write anything down until I have it mapped in my head how its going to look.
    I do not feel that this is destroying my life other than my social life, most people can not deal with my personality, and I have no will to change these habits. I do not do these things in public or around other people cause it is socially unacceptable.
    I do not feel delusional or crazy, I do sometimes believe maybe I am a hypochondriac but I am unsure.

    Are these behaviours or feelings normal for ADHD, does the medication deal with the fidgetyness issue or are my symptoms more compulsive like than anything else.
    If anyone mentions controlled diet, I have tried it and researched it anyone with actual ADHD will not respond to the level needed for their symptoms to diminish.

    • ANSWER:
      wellll, i'm only going to be a junior in undergraduate school, but i think many people with OCD have obsessive anxieties and the way they deal with it is to do weird things like everytime they touch something they need to wash their hands and then their mom won't die in a car crash. it doesn't really make any sense. usually they'll be scared their mom would die in a crash but when they were washing their hands their mom came home and they felt relief so it made the behavior more likely to occur. so when they obsessively have these moms gonna die in a car crash thoughts they'd get anxious and start washing their hands alot and soon they're always washing their hands. things like that. like then you use it for more things as well. anytime your anxious. and it can be a lot of weird things. idk if i were you i'd talk to a psychologist to see what they said. but idk if what you described was as severe? i'm not sure. ask a professional i'd say.

  18. QUESTION:
    how do you handle life and people without becoming angry?
    especially if youve always been very sensitive and took things very personal, cant take criticism etc.

    ive had an exceptionally hard life , abuse being a major part of it.

    ive missed out on a normal life of building relationships, employment , qualifications , and basically everything.

    im now 31 , trying to make the best of the cards that were dealt , i have bpd , PTSD , agoraphobia , still struggle with rage and anger, although ive controlled the rage outbursts for years ....i used to have regular outbursts of explosive rage in public......i would get attacked.....cautioned by police.......used to lash out and cause a public scene......would cause public embarrassment and humiliation upon myself..
    the mental health services have failed me so far, and im still struggling to get any medication and right therapy..

    ive lived alone in a 1 bedroom apartment for 6 years doing my best to control rage and chasing help and therapy that im still struggling to get..
    i suffer with high anxiety , palpitations everyday, racing thoughts , suffer with very low self esteem......act to eager for friendship.....cant build relationships easy.

    theres times in the present i slip up with my anger because of peoples superficiality , neurosis , hysteria , loudness, drama....hype filled in your face type people..

    i find it difficult still to handle people and be civil, i can easily become aggressive, defensive , start to shout.......i cant take criticism......are sensitive to what people do and say...........are sensitive if i give myself and people reject me....

    i find myself clenching my teeth with anger, growling to myself intensely because of peoples shallowness and superficiality..

    theres times i feel condescended , patronized , and treat like a charity case by people , socially outcasted and alienated.......because of my social position in society......

    ie : my reclusiveness because of my social problems, rage and mood swings..

    i work hard on my condition without any help from mental services, as i have done for years.......and i feel very let down and upset with myself when i slip up with anger and rage.......when i take it out on innocent people with an aggressive stare for example.

    i dont know when ill receive the right help and care, but im making complaints right now to the mental health managers..

    meanwhile i still struggle with intense rage , intense anxiety and agoraphobia and PTSD symptoms..

    so when people are winding me up, or getting to me , how do i handle it without losing it into a rage with gritted teeth and growling ?

    • ANSWER:
      I like to tune the world out with music or writing.

  19. QUESTION:
    Is it polite or correct to simply request medication from a counselor/psychologist?
    A little background: My LPC (licensed professional counselor) treats me for OCD and a social phobia and has been since January 2010. My LPC helped me calm the symptoms of my OCD through rational emotive behavior therapy and I am doing quite well there.

    However, I have seen my counselor numerous times for my social phobia. A few techniques she gave me were good in theory but didn't work very well for me. A new technique we discussed at my last couple of meetings has helped. I've been able to speak a bit more when spoken to and even went shopping on my own the other day (big step). I still find it very hard for me to speak. I keep working on it and setting small daily goals for myself because I really wanted to do it without medication (and so does she). She offered me daily medication but I declined.

    Right now I have an off-brand of Xanax. It's 0.25mg of Alprazolam and is to be taken on an "as needed" basis. Such as times of great stress and anxiety for me like going to a job interview, a party, doing a presentation in front of class, or doing a group project. I have 30 pills, no refills. It's basically a measure of how often I use it. I'm not through the bottle but I have already taken 10 since they were prescribed to me 08/09/10. I've been tempted many other times but tried to do it w/o medication.

    So my question is, what do you think of discussing with my LPC daily medication (or medication that is made for more routine use) to give me a little boost with helping calm my anxiety so my mind can be clear enough to do my rational emotive behavior therapy and thus I can do well in social situations? If you are an LPC, psychologist, psychiatrist yourself, what would you say if I was your patient and brought this up with you?

    - Sorry if it's a little lengthy. Thank you for taking the time to read it and to give me an answer. It's much appreciated :)
    I know that my LPC cannot prescribe medication but she does write letters of reccomendation to my pediatrician who will prescribe me medication (they work jointly).

    • ANSWER:
      Psychologists and counsellors cannot prescribe medication. They are not qualified to do so. Only a doctor or psychiatrist can prescribe.

  20. QUESTION:
    How do you know if you're clinically depressed or if you're just going through a tough time?
    I have been feeling pretty depressed for the last couple of months...all winter, really. Starting when my mom took a turn for the worse in November and she passed away the day after Christmas. I have never dealt with such a loss before and it's been hard...especially since life didn't stop or even slow down like one thinks it should when someone so close dies. I took 1 week off of work to make arrangements for her service and gather her things, then it was back to the daily grind of being a working mother and wife, which is stressful enough in itself. So naturally I've been feeling a little down, and if I'm being honest, I always get a little bout of "winter time blues" around this time of year. But how do you know when what you're feeling is a normal process (such as grief for my mom) or when it's clinical depression that needs to be treated? I have quite a family history of all sorts of mental illness, including depression, bi-polar disorder and social anxiety and that's just from my own parents. This has also made me weary of psych meds...it seems like once you get on them, you can never get off without being a big bucket of crazy.

    If you are currently or have ever taken medication for depression, what made you decide to treat it? How did you know that it was an actual chemical imbalance and that it wasn't only temporary?

    (I'm asking this in Parenting because I get the best and most genuine advice here...)

    • ANSWER:
      I think you should give it time and try some other things before you turn to medication. Losing someone so close is difficult and that along with the winter blues (which I also always get) is depressing. I would try and make time for yourself to have some you time, join a class, make a point to go out once every two weeks with a good friend. Do something to break out of routine here and there and think about the good weather coming in the near future. You could also try some counseling to deal with the death of your mom and daily stress, trust me talking to someone can help a lot!

      this article might help you learn more about how to tell the difference between clinical depression and sadness

      http://depression.about.com/cs/amidepressed/a/sadness.htm

      After I had my youngest I had a period of PPD where I was crying all the time and worrying like crazy about death and my doctor put me on Paxil. It did seem to help a little however once I felt enough time had passed and I wanted to go off it, I had an extremely hard time getting off the medication. Even lowering my dose made me feel sick, head aches, nauseous, shakes, dizziness, sweating etc...I felt like a druggie in withdrawl. It was so bad I went back to my regular dose to feel better. I finally got to the point where I was determined t stop the medicine and I just stopped taking it cold turkey which I know you are not supposed to. I was very sick for two weeks and then finally it went away and I was fine.

      I'll never take any medication like that again, it was scary feeling like my body depended on it so much. I was on a low dose too. My doctor recently wanted me to try a different one because I had an eye twitch and she thought it might be from stress and I refused. I'm going to have periods of stress and sadness in my life, I don't need to pop a pill everytime I feel sad. That's just how I feel about it. I'd rather at least try other things before turning to medication.

  21. QUESTION:
    I have to distance myself from my friends?
    I hate to say this: but I need to get away from my "friends." This is difficult, since I hardly have any friends at college. I have social anxiety disorder along with depression so it's difficult for me to socialize.

    I was so proud of myself for making friends that I overlooked the fact that they're not very good to me. I live with them this year. They ditch me quite often and don't invite me along with them. I'm not the greatest student; most of my roommates are. They'll often crack jokes about it implying I'm an idiot. I can't have a conversation with them without them criticizing or making fun of what I said. Or else they'll interupt me or change the subject mid-conversation.

    The thing is I'm in therapy, I'm on medication. I'm starting to feel better about myself. With this, I've realized how harsh they treat me and I'm done with it. I got asked to live with them again next year but turned them down because I'm living in an apartment by myself. I've lived by myself the past two years and loved it: I don't know why I signed up for a two bedroom apartment with four people. I feel trapped. I'm excited because I can have my fitness equipment with me. I like to exercise but there's no room here. I don't want to do my fitness routines in the middle of the living room! Exercise is my stress-reliever.

    I'm looking forward my senior and final near next fall. I'll have my fitness equipment. I'm on a sports team. I don't have many friends on the team. Since I'm feeling better about myself and socializing more; I'm hoping to befriend more people on the team. The friends I have now make fun of me or disrespect me a lot and generally make me feel bad about myself.

    Do you think what I'm doing is a good decision? Don't get me wrong: these friends weren't a total waste, they're just not what I need. We did have a lot of fun times but it's too often that they belittle me. I've got self esteem problems--I can't afford their attitude. Any suggestions or input about my situtation would be appreciated. Thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      Depression is all about friends and family because they control our expectations. False hopes lead to depression. Depression has to be managed because it makes us do the same mistakes again. With low esteem we tend to give up trying. Best find a way to separate the ohmygod girls from the loners before moving in. You will never be a winner-player now so dont spin your wheels.

  22. QUESTION:
    Teenager really in need of a little advice/support or help, (Depression)?
    Hi, Again i must state that the world is just too fast moving to give me any time to sit down and truley take the time to talk about how i feel, and i only have 4000 odd characters left!
    I am 16 years old and struggling with severe Generalized/Social Anxiety Disorder, Joined with Depression/ Adhd & brief Psychotic episodes. I am now being diagnosed with a Personality Disorder. It Pains me to be saying this all at aged 16. My life is really a living nightmare at the moment. My Psychiatrist has told me there is only so much he can do where he is concerned, and looked blankly in my face, he has treated me for two years, tried me on a cocktail of medications, and frustratingly changed and mixed around with them trying to find positive results as if i was a Lab testing rat. I know that along the lines of starting all this i fell dependant to them, and i have tried going off them and weened of my last scripts over the last few months, and it is a sheer nightmare, i hate my waking moment, i feel unstable, like i really am going to be driven to do something as every single day more and more pain just loads into my mind and head. My life has always been wild, my last few teenage years have been the wildest, following a Typical story of a teenager with real bad esteme issues, that then developed into self hate, and that self hate drove me to change head to toe in personality/style/attitude/voice tones/activities, everything. it was the classic Nobody to "Cool Kid" transformation, that involved a turbulant mixture of Law trouble/School trouble/Drugs and Alcohol/Friends/Family trouble/tattooing/Sexual Abuse/Fighting/getting Bullied ... (*sigh*) You get the picture? .. Now nearly 4 years on from when i stared my life changing path.. i am just destroyed. i know all about the Drink/Drugs clouding my mind etc, i also feel extremley bad for writing this now, as if im going to get shouted at for writing it or something.. it probably seems like nothing, and i seem like some nobody, i just basically want some person on this earth just to give me a little nudge of hope or something!!!.. Im getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy once every 2 weeks, im with a drugs clinic and im on Beta Blockers for anxiety.. (which do zilch!) im scared going to doctors again.. or anyone for advice, its just i just feel like i irritate everyone, and that everyone rolls there eyes when they see me coming asking for help.. My anxiety is so severe at the moment i cant even walk out the door to go to college now.. im so terrified, i ran out of my college the last time sweating and crying, the only times i can go to college are if im either Stoned or on Diazepam or something. i spent a good year on medication without therapy.. so very quickly i grew to relying on the medication.. i ended up doubling doses of diazepam and needing to constantly up my dose, until i was near on 25Mg of it in the first few hours of the morning, i really cannot stem my anxiety alone, whenever i am not on any anxiolytic, i just have this burning ball of -i think Anxiety.. its gut wrenching, like the worlds strongest cramp, and i flush all over. im cold and bitter to be around, i get impulses every time, when im at home to just smack my head against a wall or take a blade to my skin, i really am hanging on by a thread.. im so sorry every1 for writing this, and just bringing every1s moods down and generally probably frustrating people.. but i dont know who to turn to now, My Phsyciatrist "dosent know what to do ", anymore, My parents just cannot bare to handle me anymore, they are worried sick aswell. everything in general is driving me insane. i dont know how much longer i can sit this out, because thats what it just feels like. i cant be on sedatives all day everyday. but i sure as hell know that at least when i am on them, i can get about and do my daily life business, such as go to an education, without shivering with fear as i pass people feeling like a doormat. Sorry & Thanks guys ..
    BTW... THANKS EVERY1.. THESE ARE REALLY HELPFUL ANSWERS... I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET TO LEVEL TWO YET SO I CAN RATE THEM! LOL. ill tackle my life first i think before working that 1 out!! THANKS (Y) x

    • ANSWER:
      Hey man, I almost know how you feel. Although I'd definitely say that you've got it worse than I.
      For me I just feel alone in the world. I get sick of people's crap and worthless opinions and just last night all I wanted to do is punch my hand through a window b/c pain seemed to be the only thing that is truly real.

      First I'd like to start by saying that medication is probably not a good thing in this condition. The last thing you need is to be addicted. I just watched Requiem For A Dream, it's a pretty rough movie all about addiction. And it's probably the worst thing that could happen to someone, aside from death.

      Second, I'd say that writing may help. I hate poetry but when I'm in rage mode I write out what I'm feeling. It sounds kind of cheesy but the blank paper isn't gonna tell you that you're wrong, it's gonna understand you.

      Thirdly, I don't know if you are or are not being honest with everyone, but if you're not then you definitely should be. Keeping it bottled up like me may cause you to become a bit loopy. Telling everyone exactly how you feel, regardless of the consequence, should help quite a bit. I should probably work on this myself, I've always wanted a therapist for this reason.

      Also, I don't know if you've found the miracle or marijuana or not, but it helps me. Makes me feel real good. I'd say that you have good reason for medical marijuana and I personally think that it would help you. If you're unsure about it just do some research, it's really not unhealthy for you, especially if you don't smoke it. It's definitely more healthy than these prescription pills.

      And for people like us I think we both find that "God" is non-existent. If you wish to know my reasoning send me an email and I'll give you hundreds of reasons. Either way it's your decision.

      I guess the biggest thing you need is a revolution of life. You need a big change, for the better of course. You need to find your greatest inner passion and pursue it at all costs.
      I don't know if you like to read, but some of the greatest self-help books are The Power of Now and A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle has helped a crap ton of people, just look them up.

      Hope at least some of this helps you in the long run, you just gotta keep on chuggin' along. Ride out the storm, find the people that are like yourself. I'm also 16 and what I've learned is that at this age, real friends are close to non-existent. I've got no real friends, plenty of friends though, but I wouldn't jump into traffic for any of them.

  23. QUESTION:
    How to deal with social aneixty about my apperance? please help me, l never want to go outside again?
    l am 16 year old girl. l am very ugly. l hate being in public. Everytime l am out in public l am teased, mocked, harassed about my appearance. l had cruel strangers ask me out as a joke. Otherwise l just get nasty looks from people in the streets. and it hurts. l now refuse to go outside. its so embarrassing. l am saving up for plastic surgery so l can fix my appearance and finally just live a normal life without people staring at me in disbelief and in disgust when l step out of my house. its not my fault l look like this way. it does not matter what l do with myself, l can only try and make myself as okay looking as possible but its really hard for me. l am so jealous of those average looking people that can wake up out of my bed and just spend a few minutes on their appearance unlike me l literally have to spend an hour, my hair is thick and it is so hard to finally have my hair in place and a hairstyle to make me look okay.

    Everytime l wake up for school l always get called ugly and l am always late. and almost every morning l cry while trying to fix my appearance because its so hard for me to look decent. now lm so heartbroken l haven't been to school for a week and on the verge of just dropping out, my mom is very angry with me, but l dont care l hate that place, l dont even learn because lm so anxious and obsessing over how my appearance looks every second lm there. its like an obsession because l have been called ugly all my life. everywhere l am treated badly, l cant live like this. l am constant fear the second l wake up in the morning until l sleep. because it terrifies going out in public the next day, especially with my appearance its so awful. l dont know what to do anymore, l know my anxiety will be gone once l am good looking but that is going to take years. l shake and cry at the thought of going outside now. l have to go school on tuesday and lm already having panic attacks. please help what can l do? what are steps to be comfortable again? the public is so cruel l feel like dying. being ugly is awful.

    is there any medication for me to forgot my appearance and stop obsessing so much? to not care what others think and calm down anxiety?

    • ANSWER:

  24. QUESTION:
    How can I make my life better?
    I don't talk to my dad even though he lives with me he went to vietnam and is really messed up
    on all kinds of medications and just does everything he can to make me mad yell,verbally abuse my mom, trained my dog to bark at like everything... I wake up to him yelling or my dog barking everyday.
    My mom is in school and has a job and is trying to get a car back that my stupid brother totaled in an accident and everything I do is "stress" to her. I feel like i'm not being treated fair but i know other people have it worse. I'm not gonna complain im just gonna stop talking to all of them and not ask for anything. I changed schools so i have like no friends and this girl i've been talking on and off with for a year that i've really liked i think im about to give up on because i found out she's already done stuff with guys on one of our breaks. My mom just acts differently when we're not at home she pretends like everything is perfect and talks to me differently in public and i just wanna be like yeah right your such a fake. How can I improove this life.
    I need tips on : How to forget this girl once and for all
    : How to stop smoking weed forever
    : How to control my really strong emotions without taking meds.
    : I have a social anxiety disorder as well but my mom won't admit it.
    My dad and my brother have it and I feel worse then my brother so I know I have to have it.
    Oh yeah and i seem to be the only one in the house with responsibilities besides my mom my brother and dad are freaking sloppy pigs and they just do stuff thats no good. Im trying to get a job and do better in school and get my permit but dont know where to start.

    • ANSWER:
      i hope this can help, but to truly make your life better, you have to make it better. no one can tell you how to live your life. i used to have stress with my mom too. she workes all the time and me and my step dad do not get along at all. i would only see my mom for a couple of hours a day and we would spend it screaming at each other. honestly, i just let it go. if she does something that really makes me mad i blow it off. also i talk to her. but dont raise your voice or get a tone. just be calm and try to actually be kind of quiet, it will make the listen more. while talking to her dont treat her like a child and tell her shes doing things wrong. she will just get madder. as for your dad, relize that he is on meds. and this most likely isnt the way he feels, if so, once again be calm and blow it off. i would say try to talk to him but if he is on meds and messed up he wont uderstand. as for the dog, retrain it. train it to not bark as much and become its best friend. it will obey you more if your its master. as for the weed. go to church. become closer with god, and pray. have strength in him and he will help you. also find the will power to stop. at the end of the day its up to you. also, if you dont like your home life get a little job. just something exstra to do to get out of the house. im not saying a full on job. to forget about the girl,relize that she will most likely be nothing more than a one night stand. there is a true love and good relationship out there for everyone. find yours and dont waste your time on people like her. lose all contact with her but dont be mean. be as nice to everyone as possible. if you think you have social anxiety disorder, then with the little money you save up from the job, go to the doctor. if you have it, CALMLY show the papers to your mom, and have a talk about what you need to do. as for making friends at your new school, get into any clubs or anything you can do to meet new people. also smile and say hi to at least one person everyday. it will be hard, but you are bound to make a friend. do communitty service and stay close to god. things wont get better over night but they will improve in time. also dream big!! set goals and dreams for yourself and reach them. stay possitive and trust yourself. good luck and god bless. Here stay positive like this little boy :) .... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CXIug42d6Q

  25. QUESTION:
    If a psychiatrist came across this case how would the person be treated? (long)?
    I know that no one treatment is standard but if you read this person's background notes then how do you think they would be treated?
    What type of therapy do you think would be most effective and would you expect the person to require hospitalization for it or could they pursue treatment independently. (This person is an adult)

    Abandoned child syndrome
    Abandoned by one parent at 14 months then abandoned by the other at 18 months. Passed from carer to carer inconsistently for 8 years, severe security issues.

    Clinical Depression & Depersonalization
    Set in during teen years after family deaths, moving, and changing schools.
    Exacerbated by the effects of puberty and triggering an initial 'breakdown' followed by three years of severe agoraphobia and social isolation.

    Generalized Anxiety Disorder
    - Post-traumatic stress disorder
    - Separation anxiety disorder
    - Panic Disorder
    - Agoraphobia

    Three debilitating 'breakdowns' in total where normal everyday functioning could not occur without assistance.
    One caused by loss of family and friends coupled with stress.
    The second was a relapse after leaving college and being jobless.
    The third was triggered by social isolation coupled with no job after more than a year and seasonal effective disorder.

    The last episode required medical intervention for severe depression, the other cases were treated with counseling alone.
    Depression has been shown to severely effect many other female members of the family.
    She has been prone to suicidal thoughts before receiving medication however she has never attempted suicide or self harm.
    Has learned to self manage her Agoraphobia and Panic Disorder, can now travel and function in daily life without suffering a debilitating attack.

    This person is highly sociable with an easy temper, good sense of humor and an inquiring intelligent mind.
    She is caring towards others, displaying a high level of empathy, concern and understanding.
    Hard working and willing to try new things.

    She seems very normal and approachable day to day, she works a normal job and interacts with people exchanging words, smiles and laughs.
    She poses no threat to others but often lapses into severe depressive episodes when alone and requires medication to keep it under control.

    • ANSWER:
      In my opinion this person has suffered alot in the early years of her life so she is prone to these things to come back and affect her, however she has been coping well and not a danger to anyone, not a danger to herself as she is able to control behaviour and suicidal thoughts that will affect her.

      So I dont think she requires hospitalization but still shouldn't try to take on life difficulties independently. She should definitely be in touch with a psychologist/psychiatrist and go along regularly to keep everything in place seeing as she has panic problems and on some medication.

      P.s I'm not a psychiatrist , just an undergraduate psychology student

  26. QUESTION:
    please help, this is ruining my life?
    Hello.. I'm writing because I'm 22 and anxiety is eating away at my life. I wish it would stop. I am taking medication but it doesn't always help.

    I have no social life. I had to drop out from university. I've never dated. I still live at home because I'm afraid to go.. I can't live my life, I get agoraphobic, it's pathetic really..

    until a couple of years ago I was a fairly normal girl with some chronic health problems.. Now I can hardly leave the house without feeling like I'll lose my mind. I recognize the irony of that.

    What I think happened is this.. I do know that I was sexually abused by my biological father when I was little. i never was treated for it. I have always pretended it never happened. I think maybe it's resurfacing in weird ways now, especially since I've been very stressed out. I tried talking to a therapist about it, but I couldn't do it. Otherwise, I've never told anyone. Could it be causing these panic attacks? Can I ever feel normal again? I need help badly and I don't know if the medication can help me with this one and I don't know how to seek help for this.. I'm sorry this is so long.. thank you so much and God Bless..

    • ANSWER:
      I agree with you that the incest is surfacing, not in weird ways, but in normal ways, normal for what you've been through. All your symptoms are textbook. And I am so sorry because it's difficult to recover from, it's deeply personal and painful and takes a long time.

      The book "The Courage To Heal" is awesome, it has many writing exercises and meditation examples, it warns what most women go through, and has stories, excerpts, and poetry from sexual abuse survivors; but don't go through it alone.

      Can you ever feel normal again? I think the ability to feel normal was stolen from you along with your innocence, your basic inborn sense of trust in people and the world around you. I think it victimized you, leaving you secretly feeling helpless, unworthy, and stealing your sense of confidence and power.

      It may feel like you've been acting all your life around other people, that you've never fit in, and now that anxiety, panic and fear are surfacing, maybe you don't feel like you can pull it off. That people will see right through you and know...? There is hope. You've stated it, you have come out with the secret that's been eating you up for so long.

      Get with your therapist, this is truly a breakthrough for you, hurray, it's a major step in the awakening process. If you can't say it out loud yet, write it down on a piece of paper and give it to her. Chances are she's known what's going on for some time, and has been allowing you time and space for your own revelation and breakthrough. Well, it's time. You go girl, you can do it. I did. Yes, the truth shall set you free..

  27. QUESTION:
    I think I'm depressed but I'm afraid to seek help. Am I? And do I have to be on drugs forever?
    Why am I afraid to seek help?..
    I want to see a doctor but I've been fighting so hard to become a Police Officer and I'm now #1 on my towns list. During the application process, I have to sign a waiver to release all records and it would allow them access to my medical records. Being a girl in a very political town, they would kill for a chance to throw me off the list and I dont want to give them anything to use against me.
    Why do I think I'm depressed?...
    I was once very social, very popular, very sharp... But these days (or should I say YEARS) I just go to work (Midnight police dispatcher) and when i get out I sleeeeeeep (if it were up to me I'd sleep all day; almost like it's easier to get though the day unconcious). I avoid contact with other people, friends and even family, I actually look out my window before going outside because I dont like talking to people. I dont want to hear about thier life cuz it only depresses me more to not have one. I don't want to talk about mine because it's sad and depressing. I've decided to alienate myself from family because they are not good people (selfish, leeches, money hungry users who are serious alcoholics, drug addicts, convicted felons...and to think i'm trying to become a COP right?).
    I've beaten MANY odds after years of foster care and group homes and even homelessness and I used to be so proud of myself for what I was achieving without the support of family. But I think all those years of pushing myself and pushing myself are starting to take a toll on me. I THINK thats what it is. And although I'm functional at work (thought not to my potential) and surprisingly I find a way to appear very happy at work and social, I find it SO exhausting to pretend that everything is okay that I could sleep for days when I get home. I have a fiance, he's awesome and understanding but my stress sometimes wears HIM out. My house is a wreck and I can't find the energy to REALLY clean up. I dont know how he still wants to even marry me.. which makes me insecure to think about,.. which makes me that much more depressed... the list goes on dude. VICIOUS cycle.
    HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS (now that I've depressed YOU)..
    Does this seem like anxiety, depression, something more, all of the above?..... If so, I want to fix it and I guess I'm willing to try a medication, but does it mean (from what u already know) that I would have to be on drugs for the rest of my life? I DO NOT want to feel like a vegtable (my ex-con sister is on all types of crap for her mental scars and I'd rather be depressed than look like THAT).

    -I'd like it if a doctor would see this and offer thier opinion and/or advise.
    -I'd also like it if someone that is/was treated with something useful would tell me what thier regiment was and how it made a difference?
    Please do not post negative shit.. I could be YOUR sister. I'm a real person that always swore "oh that would never happen to me" and here I am. So please be considerate.

    P.S. I DO have my good days and bad.. And when put ont the spot to be social with the public I do a wonderful job at sounding happy and "with it" and pleasant. But it consumes me almost every day and seems to be getting more intense.

    • ANSWER:
      Well my suggestion would be:
      Why don't you see a counsellor outside your town? where people won't get to know. If they're so immature.Although depression is something that can affect lots of people and shouldnt count against you.
      Whatever you decide, please realise that Depression can be a major illness that won't just "go away". Sometimes it does, but sometimes it needs medical attention.
      It may or may not be Depression, maybe Stress, but best let the counsellor decide.
      Medication for Depression doesn't have to be long-term, and it won't negatively affect your life.
      Please visit the Doctor.

      Also, physical exercise, Yoga, meditation are ways to prevent/beat Depression but if you're not up to it just visit the Doctor ASAP.

  28. QUESTION:
    how do you handle unfriendliness by members of the public?
    im a 32 year old white male and for years ive experienced this problem from people , stand-offishness , cold receptions by pharmacists , doctors receptionist , flat one word responses , i could understand it many years ago when i had serious rage and behavioural problems - but for years ive been doing well with my psychological disorders , working on my social behaviour , trying to be social, friendly, civil and polite to people , controlling the aggression very well...cooperating with the metal health services....on medication that helps etc.
    its been a very difficult journey, i was diagnosed with personality disorders years ago, suffer co existing anxiety disorders.....suffered quite a few adversities through life ....psychiatric record..prison record.

    missed out on normal life events like : building relationships, being employed, getting qualifications.
    - etc etc

    lived alone for 6 years on disability benefits owning few material possessions.

    a family member said to basically '' fk people '' , im not obliged to anybody , as long as im doing my best in my life , trying to better my life, not hurting anyone - it doesn't matter what people think or their negative responses..

    of course i agree with this , and im naturally quite aloof, and reserved, remote and distant myself to a great extent.

    but im also quite a bit sensitive sometimes, and an unfriendly , flat sounding pharmacist can really get to me.

    as ive said, various members of the public in my community have treated me like this for years, but ive tried to ignore it and just '' shrug it off ''

    but other times it brings me down, and it makes me feel outcasted and persecuted, viewed in some kind of negative way.

    can anyone relate or know how to deal with it, without the impulse to become frustrated and angry ?

    • ANSWER:
      Someone once told me this while I was in meditation class. They said that all humans basically desire happiness. For example, if someone on the bus shoves past you or someone in line behind you at the store grumbles because you are taking too long, you have to remember that they are trying to be happy just as you are. The person shoves past you on the bus because her feet hurt from a long day at work and she wants a seat so bad she does not care how rude she is to get it.....And the impatient mouthy guy in line behind you is running late for work and he wants to get his coffee so he can be happy. It is not personal, but it is an animalistic urge to get or do whatever is needed to feel happy.

      if someone is talking in a flat voice, maybe they are doing their best to act civil because maybe underneath that flat voice is pure rage and anger from being payed a low amount of money, or because their boss sucks or they have a headache. We all do our best and some of us can't help it that when we need something, we are like animals just to get it because we all want to be happy.
      It is not fair or nice sometimes how we humans act in order to be happy. Sometimes it is downright cruel, like being mean on purpose to others in order to feel powerful or in control. But just remember that you are the better person for not reacting to negativity. Just take a deep breath when someone is being mean or sarcastic, and learn to stay calm and yet do not be a doormat. If a receptionist is being rude, ignore it and stay calm and speak with confidence and be firm about your needs. Ignore the rest. Because people like to get a rise out of others, and if you choose not to play their mind games, you will always win.

  29. QUESTION:
    I am depressed and I don't want to live like this anymore?
    I am a 15 year old male

    Firstly let me say my mother is a "helicopter" mom and (I assume) she suffers from either delusions and severe separation anxiety. For the past 4 years of my life, she has pulled me out of school and not let me go anywhere social.

    She is afraid gang members are going to get me, and whenever I talk about high school she just brings up how they have gang members there and how everyone in public school brings weapons to school and kills each other.

    She prepares everything together and she has forced me to sleep in the same room as her for the past 15 years of my life.

    Every morning I wake up sad with nothing to look forward to. Just another day where I sit in my computer room, read in my computer room, eat in my computer room, and then go to bed. The agony that I have suffered for the past 4 years of my life is unexplainable and severely emotionally damaged.

    She treats me like a baby and even wipes my ass after I poo. I don't want to live like this, I am not sick; I am a perfectly normal teenager...

    I am very dependent on my mother and I cannot even eat or take my medication without her doing it for me. All of my life it has been like this.

    I wake up and then I go to bed. No social contact with my peers. No activity. Nothing.

    I don't want to live like this anymore, the thought of committing a mass murder and suicide rings like chimes inside of my head and the urge is starting to become irresistible.

    I don't know what to do anymore, if I call child services then they will put me in a foster home where everyone will beat me up.. and I won't even have a computer.

    Whats the point of living? After this treacherous home schooling I am going to be forced to do college from home. By the time I graduate from college I would be 23 (I am 1 year behind).

    I can't live like this anymore, my concentration is completely gone and sometimes I wish I would just suffer medically induced cardiac arrest from the Ritalin that I take.
    Obviously NOBODY read my question because if you did you would have noticed the words SOCIALLY ISOLATED and HOME SCHOOLING

    • ANSWER:
      There are so many things in life you’re going to miss out on if you do. I totally understand, but don't. Calm down and think it through. Think about all the people you'll be hurting. Killing yourself won't do anything to help it you will miss out on life. You matter to everybody and you were put on the earth for a reason. Death is not meant for you to pick when. You have a reason to be here just like everyone else and you are very important. Talk to someone you trust.
      If you feel suicidal, please call the suicide hotline immediately.
      1-800-273-8255
      or
      1-800-784-2433
      http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

  30. QUESTION:
    How do you get yourself out of a rut, with little support (long question)?
    I'm just looking for other people's stories about how they managed to recover from mental problems, especially when isolated. I've been previously diagnosed with Tourette's (comorbid with OCD, depression and anxiety), BPD and purging disorder. I've gone through extensive treatment in the past, mostly for Tourette's (meds) and social phobia (CBT) which gets really severe when not being treated, but am currently not taking anything.

    I moved to Europe about 7 years ago for a relationship. The marriage ended about 1.5 years ago, after he became emotionally abusive and I found out he was torturing (and in one case killed) our pets. I had to move away, because I couldn't find housing in the city I lived (long waiting lists for rentals), and I feel sort of like I've been living out of my suitcase ever since. I tried to get medical help in my new location for managing all the original problems (now with PTSD and frequent panic attacks), but was told the waiting list was over a year, and I didn't have money at the time for private treatment.

    I was really bad off for awhile, but managed to get myself together enough for things to seemingly work out. I moved to a new country over the summer, and am seeing a doctor now, but the process is very slow. It took several months to get into the system (waiting lists, again), and I still don't have their official diagnosis and treatment recommendation, though I should get it in a couple of weeks.

    I thought I was managing okay on my own when I first moved here. I found a great job offshore and felt like I was getting settled for the first time in a few years. Then my father was diagnosed with cancer back in the US, and I had to leave my contract to go back. After staying several weeks, I returned but had a message as soon as I landed that he had caught pneumonia and was very ill. I flew back the next day, only to find out he had died during the night, so I showed up for his funeral.

    The two emergency trips set me back thousands of dollars (which I didn't have, since I just moved countries) and I no longer had a job when I returned. I don't know anyone at all here, I speak a similar language (but have some difficulty with the local dialect, which makes finding new work less easy), and I have no close family or friends elsewhere. My family back in the US either a) has severe mental issues of their own or b) is abusive, and I just can't deal with their problems on top of mine right now. My father was the only one I talked with, and now that he's gone I just feel lost. I had nowhere to stay in the US anyway (so that wasn't an option), no history there (employment, education, credit etc), and I moved away so early (I was 20) that I feel like a complete foreigner.

    I'm here because I don't know where else to go, and don't have the funds to move elsewhere anyway. I'm living off savings currently, but it won't last forever. My father's death has really affected me badly, I feel very isolated, and then the job/financial difficulties on top of everything has made me feel pretty awful. I haven't really left my flat since I've returned, except to go to the doctor. Tourette's tics have worsened from anxiety, and I hate going out in public because of it. I've lost more weight than I should (about 15kg in 2 months). I just don't know where to start to change things, everything is unfamiliar and sort of overwhelming.

    I'm hoping the doctors can help in some way, but Tourette's makes me very sensitive to medications, so it's taken intensive treatment and a lot of time in the past to even get basic recovery. I don't think I've ever actually felt okay since I was a teenager. And the process, as I mentioned before, is sooo slow.

    What have others in similar situations done to make the necessary changes? How did you get back into the real world without support? Any tips at all would be appreciated.

    Please don't mention religion though, the country I live in is very agnostic so it's not a great place for social networking anyway. My ex was also the son of a pastor and very religious, and some of the abuse revolved around that, I really don't want to revisit those emotions right now.

    • ANSWER:
      I am so sorry that I cannot tell you a similar or inspirational story to help you out of this. What I can tell you is that my heart just pours out to you and I hope you do find what you need. You sound intelligent and you sound like you will find the help you need. I did want to however give you a couple pieces of info that might possibly help you. The first is financial. Call the airlines, tell them you came to US due to Dad's illness and death. They will tell you if have called in time to still qualify for the discount they offer for people that had to make crisis air trips. They will ask for the death certificate. Secondly, there are many support groups available, begin online. Tourettes has become widely known and on google you can find many online support web sites. Third, if your family is not a positive influence in your life, just back away. You need a relief from stress, not their stress inducing craziness at this time. I wish you well. You deserve the best.

  31. QUESTION:
    How do you get yourself out of a rut (long question)?
    I'm just looking for other people's stories about how they managed to recover from mental problems, especially when isolated. I've been previously diagnosed with Tourette's (comorbid with OCD, depression and anxiety), BPD and purging disorder. I've gone through extensive treatment in the past, mostly for Tourette's (meds) and social phobia (CBT) which gets really severe when not being treated, but am currently not taking anything.

    I moved to Europe about 7 years ago for a relationship. The marriage ended about 1.5 years ago, after he became emotionally abusive and I found out he was torturing (and in one case killed) our pets. I had to move away, because I couldn't find housing in the city I lived (long waiting lists for rentals), and I feel sort of like I've been living out of my suitcase ever since. I tried to get medical help in my new location for managing all the original problems (now with PTSD and frequent panic attacks), but was told the waiting list was over a year, and I didn't have money at the time for private treatment.

    I was really bad off for awhile, but managed to get myself together enough for things to seemingly work out. I moved to a new country over the summer, and am seeing a doctor now, but the process is very slow. It took several months to get into the system (waiting lists, again), and I still don't have their official diagnosis and treatment recommendation, though I should get it in a couple of weeks.

    I thought I was managing okay on my own when I first moved here. I found a great job offshore and felt like I was getting settled for the first time in a few years. Then my father was diagnosed with cancer back in the US, and I had to leave my contract to go back. After staying several weeks, I returned but had a message as soon as I landed that he had caught pneumonia and was very ill. I flew back the next day, only to find out he had died during the night, so I showed up for his funeral.

    The two emergency trips set me back thousands of dollars (which I didn't have, since I just moved countries) and I no longer had a job when I returned. I don't know anyone at all here, I speak a similar language (but have some difficulty with the local dialect, which makes finding new work less easy), and I have no close family or friends elsewhere. My family back in the US either a) has severe mental issues of their own or b) is abusive, and I just can't deal with their problems on top of mine right now. My father was the only one I talked with, and now that he's gone I just feel lost. I had nowhere to stay in the US anyway (so that wasn't an option), no history there (employment, education, credit etc), and I moved away so early (I was 20) that I feel like a complete foreigner.

    I'm here because I don't know where else to go, and don't have the funds to move elsewhere anyway. I'm living off savings currently, but it won't last forever. My father's death has really affected me badly, I feel very isolated, and then the job/financial difficulties on top of everything has made me feel pretty awful. I haven't really left my flat since I've returned, except to go to the doctor. Tourette's tics have worsened from anxiety, and I hate going out in public because of it. I've lost more weight than I should (about 15kg in 2 months). I just don't know where to start to change things, everything is unfamiliar and sort of overwhelming.

    I'm hoping the doctors can help in some way, but Tourette's makes me very sensitive to medications, so it's taken intensive treatment and a lot of time in the past to even get basic recovery. I don't think I've ever actually felt okay since I was a teenager. And the process, as I mentioned before, is sooo slow.

    What have others in similar situations done to make the necessary changes? How did you get back into the real world without support? Any tips at all would be appreciated.

    Please don't mention religion though, the country I live in is very agnostic so it's not a great place for social networking anyway. My ex was also the son of a pastor and very religious, and some of the abuse revolved around that, I really don't want to revisit those emotions right now.

    • ANSWER:
      Have you tried meditation or progressive relaxation? It helps with anxiety. For jobs, you could try working the night shift because then you wouldn't have to interact with people but you could still make money. You could also try writing a journal. It can help you understand you feelings and moods. Also, try listening to music. No one that I know of has ever successfully dealt with mental problems on their own. You will need help, but you can survive until that help comes.

  32. QUESTION:
    my father beats my mother, threatens me and is an alcoholic I want him out of my life for good!?
    ever since i could remember, my father has been a raging alcoholic who is VERY hostile towards me and my mother when he is drunk which is 99.9% of the time. I'm 14 and he has driven me off the deep end. b/c of him i am on 2 different meds, I have anxiety attacks *CONSTANTLY*, I see a shrink every week who treats me like a science experiment, i've been cutting myself since i was 7 years old, tried to commit suicide more than 5 times by overdosing on medications, slitting my wrist to bleed out and pressing down on my wind pipe. I dont think I can handle him in my life for much longer. He has beaten my mom right in front of me and almost raped her in the past year, she's had 2 black eyes and a swollen lip. he has thrown knives at me, (murder attempt) he has thrown remotes at me and it sprained 1 of my shoulders in the past 3 yrs. when he goes out he normally comes home drunk out of his mind and then the torture begins... He tells me and my mom that if i ever search for help that he will beat me to the point of death and he will bury me in the back yard. my mom and i want to leave him but we don't have the money for a new place and we have no family to turn to... He threatens my mom that if she ever tries to leave that he will kill me right in front of her and then kill her. i really, desperately want him out of mine and my moms life!!! I cant turn to a social worker because then I'll be sent to a foster home and i really want to stay with my mom without my father in our lives. How should i get him out of my life?

    • ANSWER:
      FIND the POLICE and tell them that your father is beating you

      so he can't kill you and your mother because HE in jail...? are you two happy that your father is in JAIL for years if you two are then it's better to change your mother and your full name to new name and same last name (you cannot keep old last name with you or your mother because a father can find old last name remember?)

      why don't you tell the police everything about him (only in private ok?) so your father can't hear you nor find you with police

      it's better to start move to other state from this state so he can't find you and your mother anymore...

      one thing i'm telling you... change your full name to new name and your mom need to change her full name like you but only should have same lastname without father's last name

      change new last name :)

      EDIT: see what MissUnderstood and i said?

      it's best to do it without your father....


How To Treat Social Anxiety In Children

Written By: admin - Jun• 10•12

Social Anxiety Disorder, also known simply as Social Phobia or Social Anxiety is perhaps the most commone form of anxiety disorder known.

In fact, it's so common that it is believed to affect somewhere around 10% of the entire population in one degree or another.

What's more, it can affect absolutely anyone - from housewife to movie star.

Renowned entertainers who have spent years in the public eye -- from Barbara Streisland to Kim Basinger -- have spoken publicly of their experience and recovery from social phobia and anxiety.

And the effects of Social Anxiety Disorder and social phobia can be truly debilitating, if not devastating.

Very often physical symptoms accompany this disorder. These can include blushing and sweating, trembling, increased heart rate, stammering and nausea. In acute cases, the person may feel dizzy and as if he or she is about to pass out.

All this, of course, simply serves to intensify the fear.

The real fear behind this particular disorder is often the fear of being evaluated and judged negatively by others. This fear can force the individual to become fearful and terrified of doing anything that has the potential to prove embarrassing to them in public.

Some of the really common forms are fear of general or specific social encounters and social interaction, fear of public speaking, fear of dealing with authority figures, fear of exams, fear of public speaking and fear regarding sexual performance.

Most often, this particular difficulty has its origin in childhood.

In fact, the World Psychiatric Association has estimated that about 40% of such phobias originate before the age of 10, and an enormous 95% manifest themselves before the age of 20. And this appears to be the case, even though the actual symptoms may not become apparent until later on in life.

Left unresolved and untreated, depression can develop and some may turn to alcohol and drugs in order to cope.

All too frequently the medical response to social phobia and Social Anxiety Disorder is to simply drug it, often with anti-anxiety medication - particularly favored are drugs from the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor group (SSIRs) such as paroxetine (Paxil or Seroxat).

If psychotherapy is offered, it usually comes in the form of CBT -- Cognitive Beviour Therapy.

While both these approaches may provide a degree of relief to some sufferers, the emphasis of both is on managing the symptoms rather than actually treating and removing the underlying cause and drivers.

And, in the experience of this therapist, as long as the drivers remain intact then, sooner or later, the anxiety will return - and all too often with a vengeance.

There is another way.

You see, the subconscious mind - that repository of beliefs - is merely attempting to protect the person from what it perceives to be danger, and so is manufacturing intense feelings of anxiey or fear so that he or she will be kept safe from harm. But the subconscious has got it wrong. It is basing its faulty response on previous conditioning that is simply no longer appropriate.

With modern advanced hypnotherapy techniques we can reach deep within the subconscious mind, to where those feelings are generated, and adjust the faulty beliefs that are keeping the anxiety 'program' running.

Once this is accomplished, the symptoms - social phobia and social anxiety - just become extinct because there is nothing there to drive them anymore.

If you or someone you care about suffer from the truly debilitating effects of social anxiety disorder or social phobia, don't despair, real and effective help is available.

With modern and advanced hypnotherapy techniques, you can be returned to your true nature and be released from that old anxiety and fear for good.


How To Treat Social Anxiety In Preschoolers

Written By: admin - Jun• 10•12

Social Anxiety Disorder, also known simply as Social Phobia or Social Anxiety is perhaps the most commone form of anxiety disorder known.

In fact, it's so common that it is believed to affect somewhere around 10% of the entire population in one degree or another.

What's more, it can affect absolutely anyone - from housewife to movie star.

Renowned entertainers who have spent years in the public eye -- from Barbara Streisland to Kim Basinger -- have spoken publicly of their experience and recovery from social phobia and anxiety.

And the effects of Social Anxiety Disorder and social phobia can be truly debilitating, if not devastating.

Very often physical symptoms accompany this disorder. These can include blushing and sweating, trembling, increased heart rate, stammering and nausea. In acute cases, the person may feel dizzy and as if he or she is about to pass out.

All this, of course, simply serves to intensify the fear.

The real fear behind this particular disorder is often the fear of being evaluated and judged negatively by others. This fear can force the individual to become fearful and terrified of doing anything that has the potential to prove embarrassing to them in public.

Some of the really common forms are fear of general or specific social encounters and social interaction, fear of public speaking, fear of dealing with authority figures, fear of exams, fear of public speaking and fear regarding sexual performance.

Most often, this particular difficulty has its origin in childhood.

In fact, the World Psychiatric Association has estimated that about 40% of such phobias originate before the age of 10, and an enormous 95% manifest themselves before the age of 20. And this appears to be the case, even though the actual symptoms may not become apparent until later on in life.

Left unresolved and untreated, depression can develop and some may turn to alcohol and drugs in order to cope.

All too frequently the medical response to social phobia and Social Anxiety Disorder is to simply drug it, often with anti-anxiety medication - particularly favored are drugs from the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor group (SSIRs) such as paroxetine (Paxil or Seroxat).

If psychotherapy is offered, it usually comes in the form of CBT -- Cognitive Beviour Therapy.

While both these approaches may provide a degree of relief to some sufferers, the emphasis of both is on managing the symptoms rather than actually treating and removing the underlying cause and drivers.

And, in the experience of this therapist, as long as the drivers remain intact then, sooner or later, the anxiety will return - and all too often with a vengeance.

There is another way.

You see, the subconscious mind - that repository of beliefs - is merely attempting to protect the person from what it perceives to be danger, and so is manufacturing intense feelings of anxiey or fear so that he or she will be kept safe from harm. But the subconscious has got it wrong. It is basing its faulty response on previous conditioning that is simply no longer appropriate.

With modern advanced hypnotherapy techniques we can reach deep within the subconscious mind, to where those feelings are generated, and adjust the faulty beliefs that are keeping the anxiety 'program' running.

Once this is accomplished, the symptoms - social phobia and social anxiety - just become extinct because there is nothing there to drive them anymore.

If you or someone you care about suffer from the truly debilitating effects of social anxiety disorder or social phobia, don't despair, real and effective help is available.

With modern and advanced hypnotherapy techniques, you can be returned to your true nature and be released from that old anxiety and fear for good.


How To Treat Social Anxiety Disorders Naturally

Written By: admin - Jun• 10•12

Severe anxiety disorder and panic attack would you consider them to be the same? I hope your answer was no, or you are about to face some real issues. I will cover some of the symptoms from this disorder, and what you can do to control them. Believe me this condition as bad as it seems, is curable.

Severe Anxiety Disorder Is Easy To Treat - Do Not Stay In Denial-GET help!

Let us identify the symptoms a victim has to face on a regular bases, and I Will also add they are a lot similar to a heart attack.

Symptoms of a typical panic attack.

Fast heart beat.
* Sweets.
* Feeling dizzy.
* Trouble breathing.
* Tingles.
* Tight throat and chest.

It was just a panic attack, How did it manifest into severe anxiety disorder?

All symptoms listed above are the same as those you experience when you have severe anxiety disorder, but it is a constant thing day in, day out some times on the hour, depending on how bad, and how long you have let this condition go on.

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    How to treat yourself from social anxiety disoreder naturally ?
    mmm, i suffer severly from social anxiety disorder that i cant ask my parents for a phycologist. I cant tolerate this disorder anymore since i am a teenager. Please help me treat myself by myself by a natural way. THANK YOU FOR HELPING

    • ANSWER:
      Visit support groups. There is a website called "social anxiety support" where you can read/share experiences.

      Find a support group in your area. It helps to connect with others who dealing with this disorder.

      Read self-help books. The one I'm currently reading, "Painfully Shy: How to Overcome your Social Anxiety and Reclaim Your Life" by Barbara G. Markway. This book offer techniques to use to battle it plus stories of people with SA.

      Eat healthy. Certain foods we put in our bodies affect our mood so eat fruits, veggies and drink water several times a day. It helps to lay off caffeine or alcoholic drinks.

      Exercise. Set a schedule to routinely exercise and sweat all that negative feelings away. When people exercise, it puts them in a feel good mood.

      Meditate. Clear your head of negative thoughts and have a moment to yourself with serenity.

      Try supplements. Although most SAD sufferers take prescription drugs, go the other route and take supplements. Examples, Vitamin B-12, and Valerian Root are among the many safe to use. Research more about it online too and other supplements good for anxiety.

      Don't give up! Just look at SAD as one of the hurdles (yeah it is a major one) to get through in life. Think positive (use positive affirmations) to remind yourself everyday- you are relaxed, confident, and accept yourself despite your condition, and other people's opinion does not matter because you comes first and THAT'S what's important. SA affects makes us very self-conscious so it's important to channel our thinking pattern to one free of negative self-talks.

      When you start thinking highly, you will believe in yourself and it will almost comes second nature. This will take time, but I'm sure you can overcome it. :)

  2. QUESTION:
    How can I cure my social anxiety disorder? PLEASE TELL ME IT IS A QUESTIONS OF LIFE OR DEATH ???
    I have Social Anxiety Disorder, I want to cure it naturally or something. How can I treat my own self without any pills/drugs/alcohol/medications. IS there some exercise or some food that I should eat? Are there any vitamins that may help me???????

    • ANSWER:
      Go on a personal growth course or a course to build your self confidence. Or buy some books on this type of disorder and what to do to cure it.
      My advice to you is to tell yourself that you are a good person and you deserve to be happy. Every time you get a negative thought replace it with a positive thought.
      Maybe you are just shy and that is normal. There are a lot of shy people in the world. Just learn to focus more on what other people are saying and less on what you are feeling. Just remember that no matter what you say or do that there will always be someone who will criticise you. Just let nonconstructive criticism go over you head. Just ignore it. That is part of the social scene and you can't control it. You can only control how you react to it. Just be polite and focus on enjoying what you are doing or where you are going and ignore any negativity. Move away from negativity and be near people who respect you and your opinions.
      If you feel anxious just concentrate on your breathing and this will calm you down. Just think of the word 'calm' repeatedly and I bet you will eventually be cured of any anxieties you have! Just believe in yourself. It is a beautiful world out there. Enjoy!
      It is more of a self confidence thing than a taking vitamin thing. You could learn relaxation techniques or meditation techniques. Or just start in small steps by walking to the gate, then to the corner, then go into a shop etc. Just do this every day and you will slowly get used to being in social settings.

  3. QUESTION:
    I have social anxiety disorder and I think people think I'm immature?
    How do I change thei rperception. Because sometimes it's awkward when I talk to people because of this social anxiety disorder. I just try not to talk to people too much but I would like to really change this perception. I think what adds to it is also I'm naturally small and i have a high voice. They treat me like I'm 5 years old no matter how hard I try, all of them. This has been going on for years, and I think that I developed the social anxiety and all the related problems like low self esteem because of this.

    • ANSWER:
      I also suffer from SAD + know exactly what you're going through. It's more common than you think. I agree with the other posters. I think therapy can really help to talk about what happens in social situations. A lot of what triggers social anxiety is self-consciousness, and a negative self-perception-- you think others think something of you, then as a result, you become nervous, and socially uncomfortable. But really, mostly the uncomfortableness stems from your own perceptions and the truth is others are mainly thinking about themselves and are not judging you as much as you think.
      I agree that if anyone belittles you its THEY who have the problem, and are insecure- don't let them make you feel badly. They need to change, not you

  4. QUESTION:
    I need some major help concerning Generalized Anxiety Disorder. i feel so helpless :'(?
    I unfortunately have General Anxiety Disorder. it came up out of the blue about 2 years ago after a very stressful and emotional break up. i think thats what set it off. but anyways it was so bad that i had to be put on medication which i hate because i only believe in natural cures for health problems but the medicine has been the only thing able to keep the anxiety away most of the time but its still ruining my life. i think the anxiety itself and the side effects of the medicine is whats disabling me :(
    i just feel really out of it all the time. my mind is so foggy and im just so frustrated with life cause of this. i feel like theres no way out and im just really depressed and i feel 100% hopeless. i need some help...a real miracle or else idk what im gonna do.
    so i think i might want to find a naturopathic doctor that specializes in naturaly cureing or treating anxiety like mine. but idk how to go about that. how do i even start looking for a doctor like that? is there even any doctors out there like that?
    im 19 and a half and i want to get my life started but this anxiety has taken everything away from me. my social life, my energy and motivation, i cant drive, i cant sleep, im depressed. i just want to get rid of this or treat it 100% naturally so that i have no side effects. i want to be able to drive safely and get my license so i can go to college and get a job or find a career and move out of my parents house. someone please just give me some advice, and encouragement and some help cause im so done with this.

    • ANSWER:
      Pray.Doctor.Meds. And remember your not alone God ,family members , and just strangers are here to help. Hope this helps. Oh and ask your doc about sertraline it is magic!!!!!

  5. QUESTION:
    What is it with competitive females?
    Heres a little history - I was a drug addict, so I knew little about clothing and grooming myself/ including having self confidence and self worth. But when I finally got clean about a year ago, I started building self esteem and confidence, including changing the way I dress and at least brushing my hair every morning.

    so my sister in law who is 10 Years older than me started competing with me. first it was subtle, she ignored me subtly and in conversation pretended like i wasnt there etc etc, so as time progressed she became even more toxic. She'd get really upset and weird if she saw me all dressed up and stuff. She manipulates my mother into being overtly charming and when a group of highschool boys comes over to visit my brother (She's 28 by the way) she will make sure that she's the center of attention so that she can feel all wonderful. Im an introvert, I naturally listen more than I talk, so when she goes all childsih I cant really go and be ''more'' childsih than her, in fact I really dont want to, it just annoys me that she cant give me a little chance to just sit nicely an relaxed and talk like adults do, instead she jumps around like a sixteen year old and flirts with everyone. So this wouldnt have bothered me if this thing hasnt been going on for the past 7 months. But since she's in my face everyday I cant help but think about it. She also makes me extremely nervous, since I use to suffer from generelised anxiety disorder and social phobia, im very prone to anxiety and when someone is constantly watching you, competing with you and escalating from evil to nice every few days, it gets exhausting and scary, you start to doubt yourself sometimes and when you try and point out to your mother that the female is manipulative you get told that your perceptions are fake, but i know my gut and it's not lying!

    here is some examples of the competition she's held (with herself mind you) these last three weeks:

    * Im learning to drive, so we went to the mall and I told my brother (She was busy driving) that i reversed all the way from our house to the road etc, so she got her ''attitude'' and reversed all the way from the parking space in front of the shop to the petrol station.

    * I bought myself new clothing like all teens do, so she got her "attitude" and tries to intimidate me with her new clothing. (Shes extremely materialistic)

    * I like wearing heels, so since i started wearing heels, she got her "attitude" and started wearing heels.

    * I mentioned to my brother that i had to lift his bed with my iron muscles, so she went right after that and went to lift the couberts with her "attitude" and iron muscles.

    Okay so this might not sound so bad, but if you have to be here youd pick up that competitve vibe. im sure there are many other women who has had to deal with such women. I just tell myself over and over that im not going to compete back and focus on growing into a nice person instead of becoming her, but sometimes it really gets me down and hightens my anxiety levels.

    How do you treat such people? it's hard being nice because you know what shes trying to do, but in front of other people she's able to hide it.

    How can I ignore these little things? belive me its not that easy.
    Does she have some kind of narcissisitc disroder or histrionic or something that she MUST REMAIN THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES? no matter what she must be better than me, I dont want to be better than her! I want to live in harmony with new self and the world around me, but it's impossible with her around plz help!

    • ANSWER:
      No matter what her problem is she is jealous of you. I was so bent on not bringing up the bible but what you are going through is all in there. I am not a religious person but I do know to some extent what you are experiencing seen as I was on drugs myself. If you do not stand strong against this person then you are in danger of relapsing which is what she wants. Her actions reflex's emotional abuse and can make you very ill if not dealt with.

      I personally think that you should get as much information on emotional abuse and what is in the mind of the abuser and how you can protect yourself. And it does sound terrible what she is doing to you especially since you are in remission. Whilst you are seeking help by getting as much info on emotional abuse also pray and tell him everything that is on your mind and ask him to guide you through this ordeal.

      I think you are going through a massive character change and what you are experiencing whilst going down this long and lonely road does not surprise me, people not taking you serious is a very common sign. There are forces which come in any form even family members that will try anything to set you back to where you was before. Know this and keep strong and God will guide you through the storm.

  6. QUESTION:
    how do you handle unfriendliness by members of the public?
    im a 32 year old white male and for years ive experienced this problem from people , stand-offishness , cold receptions by pharmacists , doctors receptionist , flat one word responses , i could understand it many years ago when i had serious rage and behavioural problems - but for years ive been doing well with my psychological disorders , working on my social behaviour , trying to be social, friendly, civil and polite to people , controlling the aggression very well...cooperating with the metal health services....on medication that helps etc.
    its been a very difficult journey, i was diagnosed with personality disorders years ago, suffer co existing anxiety disorders.....suffered quite a few adversities through life ....psychiatric record..prison record.

    missed out on normal life events like : building relationships, being employed, getting qualifications.
    - etc etc

    lived alone for 6 years on disability benefits owning few material possessions.

    a family member said to basically '' fk people '' , im not obliged to anybody , as long as im doing my best in my life , trying to better my life, not hurting anyone - it doesn't matter what people think or their negative responses..

    of course i agree with this , and im naturally quite aloof, and reserved, remote and distant myself to a great extent.

    but im also quite a bit sensitive sometimes, and an unfriendly , flat sounding pharmacist can really get to me.

    as ive said, various members of the public in my community have treated me like this for years, but ive tried to ignore it and just '' shrug it off ''

    but other times it brings me down, and it makes me feel outcasted and persecuted, viewed in some kind of negative way.

    can anyone relate or know how to deal with it, without the impulse to become frustrated and angry ?

    • ANSWER:
      Someone once told me this while I was in meditation class. They said that all humans basically desire happiness. For example, if someone on the bus shoves past you or someone in line behind you at the store grumbles because you are taking too long, you have to remember that they are trying to be happy just as you are. The person shoves past you on the bus because her feet hurt from a long day at work and she wants a seat so bad she does not care how rude she is to get it.....And the impatient mouthy guy in line behind you is running late for work and he wants to get his coffee so he can be happy. It is not personal, but it is an animalistic urge to get or do whatever is needed to feel happy.

      if someone is talking in a flat voice, maybe they are doing their best to act civil because maybe underneath that flat voice is pure rage and anger from being payed a low amount of money, or because their boss sucks or they have a headache. We all do our best and some of us can't help it that when we need something, we are like animals just to get it because we all want to be happy.
      It is not fair or nice sometimes how we humans act in order to be happy. Sometimes it is downright cruel, like being mean on purpose to others in order to feel powerful or in control. But just remember that you are the better person for not reacting to negativity. Just take a deep breath when someone is being mean or sarcastic, and learn to stay calm and yet do not be a doormat. If a receptionist is being rude, ignore it and stay calm and speak with confidence and be firm about your needs. Ignore the rest. Because people like to get a rise out of others, and if you choose not to play their mind games, you will always win.

  7. QUESTION:
    How can I reveal my true self.?
    First off, let me explain why this is so hard for me to do. I am a 22 y/o College Grad with a decent job and pretty much all the necessities in life (except a car), however I don't have a single person I could call a friend. I am a compulsive liar, and suffer from social anxiety disorder. With this colminates into is that I have a bunch of aquaintences but no one to confide in or share a more than surface level relationship with.

    Everytime I meet someone new, I start this vicious circle of lies that result in me keeping them at face value out of fear that they'll find out the truth about me and look at me like some kind of evil freak of nature. I know it maybe hard to believe but it happens so naturally that even though I know it's wrong I do it anyway.

    Simply my goal is to be confortable with who I am enough to not find it necessary to lie when meeting someone new, and to be able to reveal who I really am to the people I already know without them treating me like an outcast. I know it's a lofty goal and no single answer on this site is going to give me a complete life altering answer, but if anyone can at least offer any recondmendations it would be greatly appreciated.

    (and no, god is not the answer i'm looking for. I talk to myself enough as it is).

    • ANSWER:
      You already got the answer. Just be comfortable with yourself. Be true to yourself.

      Being true to oneself means to face your weakness and strengths. And express yourself. Know what you really need, not want. Don't run from it.

      I am sure, if you tell your friends the truth, they will accept you. See, no one is perfect, and the point it making friends and socializing is not be make you appear to be amazing or cool in front of others, but to make others feel APPRECIATED to be with you. Friendships os not about quantity. It is about quality and feeding to each others needs not wants. Just a smile and pat on the shoulder is enough. Just believe in yourself.

      I KNOW YOU HAVE THE COURAGE
      TO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

      BECAUSE IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

  8. QUESTION:
    How do you know if you're clinically depressed or if you're just going through a tough time?
    I have been feeling pretty depressed for the last couple of months...all winter, really. Starting when my mom took a turn for the worse in November and she passed away the day after Christmas. I have never dealt with such a loss before and it's been hard...especially since life didn't stop or even slow down like one thinks it should when someone so close dies. I took 1 week off of work to make arrangements for her service and gather her things, then it was back to the daily grind of being a working mother and wife, which is stressful enough in itself. So naturally I've been feeling a little down, and if I'm being honest, I always get a little bout of "winter time blues" around this time of year. But how do you know when what you're feeling is a normal process (such as grief for my mom) or when it's clinical depression that needs to be treated? I have quite a family history of all sorts of mental illness, including depression, bi-polar disorder and social anxiety and that's just from my own parents. This has also made me weary of psych meds...it seems like once you get on them, you can never get off without being a big bucket of crazy.

    If you are currently or have ever taken medication for depression, what made you decide to treat it? How did you know that it was an actual chemical imbalance and that it wasn't only temporary?

    (I'm asking this in Parenting because I get the best and most genuine advice here...)

    • ANSWER:
      I think you should give it time and try some other things before you turn to medication. Losing someone so close is difficult and that along with the winter blues (which I also always get) is depressing. I would try and make time for yourself to have some you time, join a class, make a point to go out once every two weeks with a good friend. Do something to break out of routine here and there and think about the good weather coming in the near future. You could also try some counseling to deal with the death of your mom and daily stress, trust me talking to someone can help a lot!

      this article might help you learn more about how to tell the difference between clinical depression and sadness

      http://depression.about.com/cs/amidepressed/a/sadness.htm

      After I had my youngest I had a period of PPD where I was crying all the time and worrying like crazy about death and my doctor put me on Paxil. It did seem to help a little however once I felt enough time had passed and I wanted to go off it, I had an extremely hard time getting off the medication. Even lowering my dose made me feel sick, head aches, nauseous, shakes, dizziness, sweating etc...I felt like a druggie in withdrawl. It was so bad I went back to my regular dose to feel better. I finally got to the point where I was determined t stop the medicine and I just stopped taking it cold turkey which I know you are not supposed to. I was very sick for two weeks and then finally it went away and I was fine.

      I'll never take any medication like that again, it was scary feeling like my body depended on it so much. I was on a low dose too. My doctor recently wanted me to try a different one because I had an eye twitch and she thought it might be from stress and I refused. I'm going to have periods of stress and sadness in my life, I don't need to pop a pill everytime I feel sad. That's just how I feel about it. I'd rather at least try other things before turning to medication.

  9. QUESTION:
    how can you keep in your own world but at the same time deal with reality and people?
    ive always been introverted, and reserved, unsociable, reclusive , im now nearly 32 and been through quite a bit of of adversity in life.

    to be honest, i dont like a lot of the world at large , dont like the mainstream media , i like my own little world, my own diversions , but dont want to end up cut off from the world and alienated from people, living as an unsociable recluse.

    i have various personality disorders, made progress and trying to better my situation for years, working working with the mental health services - ive lived in my own little , 1 bedroom apartment for years owning few possessions, living on disability benefits.

    i still struggle with aggression, paranoia and great anxiety , hoping psychotherapy can help me along with it . my personality has never changed : reserved , in my own world , private , a bit unsociable.
    but i realise i could spend my life like this and end up alienated completely from the world. iam wary of people and are aloof with them because i have been ill treated by people in the past , especially when i had my aggression problems years ago....people were treating as a social outcast ....patronising me....belittling me...socially excluding me..

    and other things. i really dont forgive the way people were treating me at the time, it took a lot of self restraint not to fcking smash someone in - show them whats what.

    so im naturally on guard now and wary, but i dont want to be to aloof and closed off so that i live the rest of my life alone and solitary.

    i have a disadvantaged past , missed out on all the normal things like : building relationships , being employed , getting qualifications and most other things.

    i dont have the advantage of having social status or healthy relationships in my life....feel demonised and branded by my past.

    my ankle was operated on months ago to repair torn ligaments so i need to chase for an appointment to see how thats getting on at the hospital....it feels weak and unsteady still.

    all together ive aged in the face because of life stress, have a few physical disfigurements - injured nerves in my right knuckle because i smashed my hand into a wall years ago...i can still use my hand normally....it looks normal.....but i cant use it to punch because i get shooting pain in it.
    have a crooked little finger on left hand, due to injury years back.

    have a prison record, a psychiatric record.

    its not gonna be easy to develop meaningful social relationships , or achieve my goals of getting a good paying computer job or buying a home in a little coastal village .

    seriously what will i do ?

    • ANSWER:
      Good luck with getting the computer job and moving to the seaside. Just concentrate on a few goals at a time and put the past behind you.

      Obviously, nobody can predict if psychotherapy will either help you overcome your mental health and personality problems. Depends what you put into it, if you can be honest and realistic and let yourself go and learn.

      Again, good luck and good wishes for the future.


General Anxiety Disorder Documentary

Written By: admin - Jun• 09•12

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    Does anyone feel worried & insecure about the prospect of homelessness?
    im 33 years old...and ive battled through a lot of adversity's in my adult life: severe psychological problems , harrassment , personality disorders , victimization , going to prison and a mental hospital, rage problems & other things.

    as a result i missed out on a lot of the average things in adulthood like building relationships, being employed etc - not of that has ever happened in my adulthoood.

    i have a long psychiatric history and a criminal history going back 11 years now.

    through my own hard work, integrity , inner strength ive worked hard on my issues for a long time..............ive been doing better for 6 years in an apartment, in a better area on sick benefits.

    but i worry a lot and have severe anxiety most days about general things....lifes insecuritys.

    ie - what might happen to affect my found security?....what other misfortune could await me in the future..
    before on channel 4 news i saw a documentary about the rising level of homelessness in england? - about its affecting all areas of society now, even the rich....it showed well off people losing their homes , losing their jobs etc.

    it showed one guy who had a history of mental health problems, who previously had a tenancy.

    but he lost his tenancy because he failed the governments new back to work tests....i think this affected his benefits..............now hes ended up homeless and sleeping rough.

    in the interview he said he cant believe it.....that it happened as a radical shake up to the benefits system.

    this has gt me now suddenly feeling very worried and insecure??

    i just wondered , was hoping that anyone could understand and answer me ? thanks

    i dont think i could handle it if anything like that happened to me after everything ive been through and all the hard work and efforts ive put in.
    im never at the end of my rope.

    what i was saying is i would be extremely angered, enraged if the government were to make me homeless....after everything ive worked at and journeyed through?

    anyone would feel woried about that even a strong black knight like me.
    *** THE TRUTH IS ALWAYS BRUTAL ***

    what do you mean by THAT! explain !

    • ANSWER: